- Eddie Kagle: How long you been down here?
- Nick: Since time immemorial.
- Eddie Kagle: The way you talk, you must've had a good education.
- Nick: A most liberal one.
- Eddie Kagle: I only went through the third grade.
- Nick: I went through the whole gamut of learning. I know everything.
- Eddie Kagle: Stuck on yourself, huh? What's your name?
- Nick: Well, I have a number of aliases. I have a long record under the name of Mephistopheles.
- Eddie Kagle: Greek, huh?
- Nick: Well, there are some who claim I'm more of one nation than another, but that's not true, Eddie. I'm of all nations, I play no favorites.
- Eddie Kagle: You look like a con man. Look, Mephistopheles...
- Nick: Call me Nick.
- Eddie Kagle: You married?
- Nick: Millions of women have adored me.
- Eddie Kagle: Quite a guy with the ladies, huh?
- Nick: I'm a fascinating fellow.
- Eddie Kagle: Look, mug, playing around with dames is dynamite.
- Nick: But most delightful dynamite, Eddie! Live fully while you may, and reckon not the cost. Deny yourself nothing - flame and blaze like a torch, and toss the fire about you! Omar Khayam said it: 'I'll make the most of what we yet may spend, before we too into the dust descend!'
- Barbara Foster: All I know is wherever you're going, I want to go too.
- Eddie Kagle: You don't belong where I'm going honey.
- [last lines]
- Eddie Kagle: Well... so long. Funny, I never thought people's faces looked so good. Lots of other things I never noticed before. If I'd only known the first trip around what I know now...
- Nick: When I get you down below I'm going to take special pains with you. I'm going to introduce you to agonies undreamed of.
- Eddie Kagle: I don't think you'll be so tough.
- Nick: No?
- Eddie Kagle: No. Cause you know why? Cause you made a sap of yourself. You don't want your boys to know that. No big shot wants to look like a sucker before his own mob. Now if I was made a trustee...
- Nick: This is sheer unblushing blackmail!
- Eddie Kagle: You oughta know, brother. You oughta know.
- Eddie Kagle: [shoveling coal into the furnaces] How hot do they want it down here?
- Shoveler: Never gets hot enough to suit the boss. You think this is bad, wait till they stick you in them flame pits way down below.
- Eddie Kagle: You mean we ain't at bottom now?
- Shoveler: There ain't no bottom in this joint.
- Nick: [to the sky] Must I run afoul of You again? Am I doomed forever to be vanquished? What has this foul creature incubated in the recesses of foulness done to become your favorite? It was with evil intent that he ventured forth! He volunteered to do my bidding! Must I be humiliated by this maggot? I demand my rights!
- Dr. Matt Higgins: Some folks are rather reluctant to cast their votes for lunatics.
- Barbara Foster: I hadn't noticed.
- Eddie Kagle: [arriving in Hell] Florida never smelled like this... like rotten eggs...
- Chemist: Precisely, young man. Rotten eggs. The unpleasant odor is caused by H2SO4, hydrogen sulfuric acid, the most common compound of hydrogen and sulphur. Am I right? I poisoned my wife with a sulphur compound; my young wife. She was unfaithful. I was a chemist.
- Eddie Kagle: What do you mean... 'was?'
- Chemist: Before they hanged me.
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