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Young Dorothy Gale and her dog Toto are swept away by a tornado from their Kansas farm to the magical Land of Oz and embark on a quest with three new friends to see the Wizard, who can return her to her home and fulfill the others' wishes.

A widowed sportscaster raises his three daughters with assistance from his rock and roll brother-in-law and madcap best friend.

Rusty Parker wins a contest and becomes a celebrated cover girl; this endangers her romance with dancing mentor Danny.

In this pilot for a proposed TV series, a group of "friends" live in a sometimes peaceful co-existence. Tom is a handsome deliveryman living with his gorgeous girlfriend Shannon, his stepsister Maria, and their lazy friend Jackson. Tom is on the rocks with Shannon again over their flirtations with other people. When Tom meets Kelly Bundy while delivering a package to the Bundy house, he asks her out for the evening. To make Tom jealous, Shannon asks out a handsome millionaire named Henry and the four of them end up at the local greasy-spoon diner in the inner city, which is run by friendly cook George. The evening gets more X-rated when Tom and Shannon try to outdo each other with their dates.

On their 25th wedding anniversary, Peggy goes out with Marcy to a posh health spa where Peggy gets conned out of all her money by a gift shop employee selling cheap beauty items. Meanwhile, Al is in trouble when the old and senile Buck buries in the back yard the anniversary gift necklace he plans to give Peggy, which prompts him, Bud, and Kelly to literally dig up the entire back yard looking for the necklace.

When Kelly becomes successful on a kid's television show, she becomes a total bitch and control freak. Her manager, Bud, decides Princess Kelly should be taught a lesson she will not forget. Meanwhile, Al tries to avoid sharing a bed with Peg by sawing off half of their bed as she is tempted to have sex with him in bed.

It's Thanksgiving. In Al's childhood, it was a tradition to eat aunt Maddie's potato pie on Thanksgiving, so Al takes a trip with Griff to see aunt Maddie in order to buy some pie. Unfortunately it turns out that she's just died. Jefferson can't find a turkey for Marcy because they've sold out. Then a stray turkey just happens to follow Kelly home. Will Kelly let the others eat it?

When Major League Baseball goes on a strike, NO MA'AM organizes their own league sponsored by nude bars.

Al and Griff convinces Gary to use the extra space for an aerobic's studio in the hopes that it'll attract pretty women. When it attracts fat women instead, Kelly convinces her father's boss to hire Ramon. It turns the tide against Feminist Marcy.

Al decides to build a dog house for Lucky. But when he makes an absurd amount of noise in the back yard, Marcy bribes a building inspector to inspect Al's work just to harass him. When the inspector tells him that the house is not up to its "code," Al, with Kelly's wealthy boyfriend Carlos, tear it down and rebuild it again and again to get it right. Meanwhile, Kelly desperately tries to get Carlos's attention. She spends a lot of Al's money (which he swindles from Carlos) to go to the salon to achieve the natural look of the women of his village. Thus, she is spending a lot of money to look like she has spent no money on her looks. Bud says, "you are your mother's daughter." Kelly says, "Well, duh..." Carlos has spent a lot of money to come to America to get away from women of his village. Al ends up with a lot of Carlos's money.

Peggy gets invited to the Bingo Invitational Final. To their horror, Al and Jefferson hear that the new spokes-model for their official No Ma'am club beer, Girlie Girl Beer, is Yoko Ono. Therefore, No Ma'am must select a new official beer.

Al and Bud go on a bear hunt in the woods to prove they're as manly as Peggy's father, Ephraim, so he can take back Peggy's unseen mother. Al and Bud bring back what they think is a dead bear they found in the woods, but they are in for a big surprise when the bear wakes up from hibernation and wreaks havoc on them and the city.

Al makes Peg stop her constant shopping by taking his card away from her and electrifying the phone so that she cannot place any orders. Meanwhile, it's Jefferson's 40th birthday and he has to accept he is no longer a young man and Marcy may one day leave him; so, Marcy forces him to get a job, which he does, as the new aerobics instructor at a new health club Peggy wins a free membership pass for. Elsewhere, Gary hires Bud and Kelly to shoot a TV commercial for the shoe store. There is a role for a shoe salesman. Al forces Bud to hire him, but Al has no acting experience.

Marcy organizes a "Toys for guns" campaign to get kids something else to play with than toy guns. Kelly has a post-graduation five-year reunion and is shocked to learn that the nerd she once stood up has become handsome and rich.

Al agrees to let Peg invite the Darcy's and Griff (plus one) to an evening party in exchange for a month of no sex. As a party game, the pairs test their knowledge of the other half. Unfortunately, Al has forgotten the most romantic night between him and Peg, who throws him out to the doghouse, literally. Meanwhile, Kelly is auditioning for a role, but faces stiff competition from her nemesis Heather Talrico, another blonde bimbo. Kelly challenges Heather to a boxing match; the loser has to give up the role.

Al makes true of his threat to move out. But what about custody of the two TVs? The kids Al leaves to Peg. In foresight, he has hidden a nest egg in a secret compartment in the toilet seat. Peg becomes depressed, but the kids decide to find themselves a new step-dad. Marcy is ecstatic about Al's departure and has another plan to cheer Peg up. Meanwhile, Al is trying out the bachelor lifestyle, complete with a new look.

Al is having difficulty adjusting to being single. Marcy is more than happy to share with him that Peg is having a dinner party with a millionaire. Al doesn't believe it, so Marcy tells him that what Peg really wants is for Al to come to the dinner party.

Bud has invited not-too-bright student Ariel to play the "Strip Study" game, to prepare for upcoming exams he has to pass in order to graduate. Despite years of not ending up getting some, Bud gets lucky but falls asleep and realizes that in order to be able to concentrate on studying, he has to give up everything that reminds him of sex. This proves to be quite difficult. In order to find a place where nothing turns him on, Bud goes to the library. Surely he can forget about sex there?

When Al finds out that Bud and Gary are dating, he and Griff decide to take advantage of the situation like a break room.

Al and No MA'AM decides to hold a counter protest in the favor of banning breast feeding from the shoe store.

When Al banishes a nursing mother for breast feeding her baby in the shoe store, Marcy and FANG holds a protest against Gary's Shoe Store in order to have him lift the ban.

Al wants to beat rival shoe-shop owner Babcock in something and puts his faith in Bud, who's in the same entrepreneurial-studies class at Trumaine as Babcock's son Little Floyd. Each boy must come up with a product and a marketing campaign for it Al sees that he'll get his revenge if Bud's project gets a better grade than Little Floyd's. When Kelly brings home a sexy-guys calendar, Bud decides to make a Girls of Trumaine calendar. All goes well, especially with stunning cover girl Crystal Clark--until, sounding very troubled, she has second thoughts about appearing in the calendar. Meanwhile, Peg is on the road searching for her dad to save her parents' marriage.

Gary is restocking the shoe store and donating all the old shoes to Filipino orphans. When the lunch delivery girl accepts old sandals as payment because Al and Griff have no money, they realize that the shoes have trading value. Meanwhile, Kelly finally gets her masseuse license, but accidentally cripples Bud when trying out her skills on him.

Gary declares a sales contest between Al and Griff - the winner gets a raise. However, an appearance of an immigrant child who works in Gary's illegal sweatshop gives Al a better idea than selling shoes.

When Al goes too far with the fat insults, he's put on trial by all the obese women he has insulted over the years.