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Michael's brother Ken comes to visit and brings his newest girlfriend. While Jr. is mainly interested in seeing parts of her body, Michael envies his brother because his own sex life became a little boring.

When the kids tease him about getting old, Michael pretends to have hurt his back in a game of Twister so they will have to cater to his every whim.

Claire develops her first real crush on a boy, and Michael does everything to break them up.

When the overwhelmingly strong and gregarious Calvin, Vanessa's dad, begs Michael to give him a job at Kyle Trucking, Michael does so reluctantly and his worst fears are realized. Calvin's way of dealing with customers and merchandise leaves a little to be desired, and now Michael must find a way to get rid of the man without getting himself hurt in the process. Meanwhile, Claire gets Franklin to help her with her science paper.

When Kady wants to spend some quality time with her father, she enlists Michael's help in the school candy drive. But when the father of last year's winner claims he can prevail once again, a competitive Michael loses sight of helping Kady and commits to selling an exorbitant number of chocolate bars.

Michael's old friend Tommy is coming over and Michael is very excited because he and Tommy used to compete for everything. But his excitement soon turns into awkwardness when Tommy shows up in a wheelchair and Michael doesn't know how to act with the situation. Tommy decides to take advantage of that until they have a talk in which Tommy asks Michael to treat him like he used to, because despite the wheelchair he's the same guy that used to race Michael for anything. Meanwhile, Claire is caught shoplifting and gets grounded for it. When she confronts Kady about who put the nail polishers in her purse she feels so guilty she confesses to their parents that Claire didn't do it.

Even though Michael is the only one who can get Jr. and Vanessa's baby to stop crying, after he fails a childcare class the entire family snubs him and refuses to let him be near the baby because he's not certified.

When Claire gets her permit she's ready to start driving, but her first lesson with Michael proves disastrous when he constantly yells at her and makes her nervous. When the family is gone, Claire decides to go driving by herself, but Michael spots her and steals the car when she isn't looking and waits to see how long it'll take for Claire to confess.

Michael refuses to go to his high school reunion because he lost the dance-off against Bobby Shaw as teenagers. After seeing Bobby again, Michael decides to go and compete in a new dance off where he promises to deliver the "Triple Bye Bye Birdie" move that everyone says is impossible.

Jay is put in charge of directing Kady's class in a production of Romeo and Juliet; but when Jay becomes sick she is replaced by Michael, much to the children's delight, especially when he agrees to let them change the play.

While making Claire's bed, Jay finds her diary hidden under the mattress. She can't resist the temptation of reading it and is quite shocked to learn that her daughter is thinking about taking the next step with Tony. She has a heart-to-heart talk with Claire, about the consequences of pursuing hr hormonal desires. Meanwhile, Michael is scheduled for an appointment with the eye doctor even though he insists there's nothing wrong with his sight (doesn't matter than he can't even read the paper without squishing his eyes).

Claire wants to go on her first date with Tony, but Michael is reluctant to let her. So Michael decides he and Jay should also go with them to the movies so they can check on Tony.

During a rare occasion when Michael and Jay have the house to themselves, they find themselves reminiscing about the fun times they've had with their kids and various friends. Some of these memorable moments include Jay's obsession with her weight and Michael's visit to a proctologist.

The conclusion of a two-part highlight episode features clips of Michael's "minor glitches" and Jay's concern about her weight.

Michael's parents come to visit him, but Michael is worried about the way they treat each other and how that is reflecting on his own children.

Michael can't focus on much else after learning that he'll be going to sports legend Michael Jordan's fantasy basketball camp in Las Vegas. Everyone shares his excitement - but for different reasons - and finds some reason as to why they should tag along. Once there, Michael learns that there's been a mix-up with the game schedule, so he resorts to some inventive ploys of his own to ensure he gets to play his idol.

Michael can't focus on much else after learning that he'll be going to sports legend Michael Jordan's fantasy basketball camp in Las Vegas. Everyone shares his excitement - but for different reasons - and finds some reason as to why they should tag along. Once there, Michael learns that there's been a mix-up with the game schedule, so he resorts to some inventive ploys of his own to ensure he gets to play his idol.

Junior drops the bomb that Vanessa is pregnant, Michael and Jay have to figure out how to deal with the news.

Michael is on a mission -- to get his notoriously late family dressed and ready to go to a wedding in 15 minutes.

It's time for Jr. to graduate high school and move on to college. The problem is Jr. wants to go to the same college as Vanessa. This puts a downer on Michael and Jay who were hoping college would be a break for Jr. and Vanessa. However they don't worry because Jr. can't get into the same college any way until he decides to ask Michael and Jay for help so he can get in and be with Vanessa.

Junior finally graduates, and his parents give him a trip to Japan as a gift Ð and as a way to separate Junior and Vanessa, who are planning on moving in together and getting married as soon as they start college. Both Kady and Clare admit their sadness on Junior leaving, and Michael and Jay feel proud of having raised a semi-successful child. They go out to relive some of their memories and when they come back late at night they find Junior and Vanessa sitting in the kitchen. He's decided not to go to Japan anymore. Vanessa is pregnant.

When Michael and Jay realize that Jr. has been smoking marijuana, they provide him with an unforgettable night filled with fun and creative mind games. Meanwhile, Kady is disappointed that her big sister, Claire, won't spend time with her; and, to prevent their out-of-style clothes from being given away, Michael and Jay promise to wear the outfits for a week.

Michael's accountant dies suddenly, making Mike take a whole new perspective about his life.

In a twist of fate, Michael is recruited as a hand model during Claire's modeling audition. As he flaunts his newfound fame, he is careful to protect the family's new financial asset - his hands. Meanwhile Franklin feels threatened by Kady's friendship with Rachel, so, on Jr.'s advice, he takes matters into his own hands.

Michael overhears Claire on the phone making plans to sneak off to a party when she's supposed to be spending the night at a friend's house. Kady overhears his plans to go to the party and bust Claire and put her picture on his 'Wall of Shame' so she helps Clair leave the party early. Michael is furious that Claire outsmarted him and sets out to find who helped her.