Review of Panic on the 5:22

"Panic on the 5:22" is a thoroughly tame and spineless made-for-TV disaster/heist movie with only a few noteworthy moments. From Monday to Thursday the lead characters, passengers as well as the robbers of the titular New York intercity train, are introduced via short segments. The passengers that share the rich-people compartment are snobbish, spoiled and power mad. They are company executives, adulterous wives, pretentious artists, and washed-up sportsmen. The trio of robbers are not-too-bright and struggling New Yorkers that accidentally discover that all the aforementioned snobs meet on the 5:22 on Friday to drink bourbon and play cards. The actual heist goes horribly wrong, and not so much because the passengers fight back, but simply because the robbers are clumsy, amateurish and get cold feet. They are actually the ones panicking. The clearly low-budgeted film has very little tension and/or action to offer. There's a lot of big-mouthed threatening to shoot hostages, but the entire train ride remains bloodless and sleaze-free. Even for a TV-movie, "Panic on the 5:22" is unendurably dull. The noteworthy moments I referred to are the close-ups of the lovely Linda Day George.