Review of Lost and Found

Lost and Found (2003 Video)
Inept Brad vehicle for Sydnee Steele
2 March 2017
Wicked Pictures, like its role model Vivid Video, cranked out innumerable vehicles starring its contract girls, but this one for the illustrious Sydnee Steele is a non-starter. Filmmaker Brad Armstrong, already a big cheese in the industry at the time (2002) of shooting, delivered a lacklustre, slipshod product this time out.

Title refers to the show's slim premise (no script writer is credited) of Steele in the Witness Protection program after cops browbeat her into testifying against her gangster man Mark Wood. The "found" part is when she's discovered living on a cul-de-sac by hit-man Brad Armstrong (walking through his role under his own direction -nobody around to tell him to try harder or contradict the hyphenate auteur).

For a mild crime tale such as this one, often aspiring to comparison with or at least mockery of the classic tradition of Hollywood B movies (those hour-long second features of the '30s, '40s and '50s), "Lost and Found" has no twists, no interesting or quirky characters, just filler between sex scenes. Usually Mike Horner guesting in dialog or exposition scenes is interesting, but this time he's merely a functional, uncredited cop questioning reluctant witness Syndee. Other characters, like his partner Dillon, get lost in the shuffle and a Black actor in a NonSex Role partnered with U.S. Marshal Jonathan Morgan goes uncredited and unsung.

Lots of femme flesh is on display, notably Asia Carrera and Nicole (repeatedly misspelled here as "Nichole") Sheridan as horny neighbors, and a reverse gang-bang involving Voodoo as a male stripper has several beauties thrown in unidentified. Michelle Lay cameos in this scene and gets a credit, while IMDb lists Stormy Daniels too, but I didn't spot her at all.

The finale of an almost-action scene, in which Sydnee's new beau Scott Styles helps her disarm hit-man Brad, is so poorly staged and clumsily executed it belies the BTS where the typically egotistical Brad walks us pointlessly through his 3-day schedule as if he were shooting something important. How he managed to hand in such crappy takes for the final cut in this last scene with three whole days to complete it is unimaginable, as it plays like a 1/2-day wonder.
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