4/10
Sharknado Shout Outs
10 September 2016
We witnessed the catastrophic third "Sharknado" attack last summer but, in TV-movie time, "It has been five years since the last Sharknado. Tech company Astro-X has used their revolutionary energy system to stabilize the atmosphere and prevent the formation of all tornadoes, using cheap, clean reactors dubbed Astro-Pods. The world has been peaceful and prosperous thanks to Astro-X's visionary founder Aston Reynolds, but now the future is about to be threatened once again…" This helpful prologue credit roll, looking like "Star Wars" (and sounding like "Superman") sets up the story. To celebrate five years of bliss, billionaire businessman Tommy Davidson (as Mr. Reynolds) opens a "Shark World" theme park in Las Vegas...

The inevitable happens. The Astro-X system fails and Vegas is hit with a "Sharknado". Yes, Virginia, there are sharks in Las Vegas. Sharks can attack anywhere, we are told. The monster storms do not have to be water-based. For example, the Vegas attack is sand-based. This looks like a job for Superman… or, rather, super-hero Ian Ziering (as Finlay "Fin" Allan Shepard), strange visitor from "Beverly Hills 90210" who came to Asylum with powers and abilities far beyond those of mortal men. To save the world, we must summon Mr. Ziering from his small Kansas town and give him a chain-saw...

In another story-line, we find Ziering's deceased blonde squeeze Tara Reid (as April Wexler) really isn't dead. She's been life-preserved by crazed father Gary Busey (as Wilford). He's made Ms. Reid a "Bionic Woman". In a notable subplot, Ziering's older son Cody Linley (as Matt Shepard) gets married. It will be interesting to see if the bride Imani A. Hakim (as Gabrielle) appears in "Sharknado 5" (2017). Hmmm. She may only be shark bait. Other beautiful young women include Claudia Shepard and Masiela Lusha. You also get the handsome, legendary and talented "Hoff" (as Colonel David Hasselhoff)...

There are a lot of cameos by the once famous, somewhat famous and not so famous. Sadly, we don't see many of them actually eaten by sharks. Part of the "Sharknado" fun is seeing someone like Matt Lauer or Ann Coulter disappear into a shark's mouth. Among the latter, it looks like an abundance of the cast and crew's friends, relatives and total strangers were accommodated with screen time. If they continue, we will all be in a "Sharknado" movie. The soundtrack, by Quint, is always a plus. Their theme song sounds like "Now I Wanna Sniff Some Glue" by the Ramones. Series writer Thunder Levin gives them a fun script to start. Reynolds is good, but the "Sharknado" series is getting long in the tooth. If you've never seen a "Sharknado" before, this one might be fun.

**** Sharknado 4: The 4th Awakens (7/31/2016) Anthony C. Ferrante ~ Ian Ziering, Tara Reid, David Hasselhoff, Tommy Davidson
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