Quotes

I'm a bit proud of my first red card as coach. I approached the fourth official and said: 'How many mistakes are allowed here? If it is 15, you have one more.'

[on the difference between himself and Arsène Wenger] He likes having the ball, playing football, passes. It's like an orchestra. But it's a silent song. But I like heavy metal more. I always want it loud.

Yes, it's true. I underwent a hair transplant. And I think the results are really cool, don't you?

When Dortmund last won here [Bayern Munich] 19 years ago, most of my players were still being breast-fed.

[on motivating his team after a poor first-half performance] I told my players during the interval: 'Since we're here anyway, we might actually play a bit of football.'

[on Mats Hummels' continuous injury problems] We will wait for him like a good wife waiting for her husband who is in jail.

[on dealing with defeat] When I gave the first interview, I was very disappointed. After the second one 10 minutes later, I was feeling better. In 30 minutes, I'll probably feel like we won the match.

[After Borussia Dortmund's quarter-final Champions League win over Málaga, a reporter suggests the game made Klopp lose a year of his life] I don't mind that, I'll gladly lose it for this. I am a smoker - I have already lost way more years of my life. But a game like this one is worth losing a year of life for.

[New signing Henrikh] Mkhitaryan fits us like an arse on a bucket. What he offers is exactly what we need.

Cristiano [Ronaldo] reminds me of German tennis player Michael Stich. He was destined to make history, but then Boris Becker showed up. Cristiano is so fast, so strong, so incredible, but he has one problem: Leo Messi.

If you lose a game, everyone asks why this player didn't play. If we win, nobody asks.

Money isn't the most important thing. It is important, of course. I am not Mahatma Gandhi.

If I would lose control at home as much as I do in the stadium at times, my wife and I probably wouldn't be together anymore.

I smoke more than I should, but less than I could. The players know that I smoke of course, this is unavoidable. I don't stand in front of them and light up. If you put a celebratory cigar in a player's mouth nowadays, he doesn't know how to handle it - suck or blow?

I've looked like I do now all my life. And if there are women nowadays who think I am attractive, they managed to not show that for the most part of my life. I definitely could have died alone in some disco's corner in the 80s, nobody would have noticed. If I had been as well-known then as I am now - and if I had owned loose trousers - then maybe this could have been fun.

[2009] I'll secretly have a cigarette in the corner after the game. I haven't yet been able to quit completely. [asked whether he gives his players permission to smoke] No, and if I catch one, he will be very sorry. Then he will be in more trouble then he could imagine. I don't have my photograph taken while smoking either.

If I now said out loud everything I am thinking about you right now, I believe it would make the lyrics to Bushido's song seem like a wet fart.

[Reporter: Where is Mario Götze today?] Mario had... um, yesterday? - yes, yesterday, he woke up in the morning and found that a part of his body had hardened. [laughter]

[press conference] I just want to say this quickly - I know, the boys have to go home but I need to go to the toilet. So, um... if anyone has a question, sure, please go ahead, if not, let's end this right here, the game spoke for itself, I really need to go the toilet or things will get unpleasant.

You will ask stupid questions again, we will give stupid answers again - things that, even though they repeat themselves over and over, are always nice nonetheless. We look forward to that.

For me, the pitch is like Las Vegas. What happens on the pitch stays on the pitch.

[2013, on being suspended for one match and having to watch from the VIP box] It is nothing that I need more than once. The view is indeed better, but other than that, it was shit!