funniest tweets
"My 9yo just told me: 'Thank you, Catherine Obvious.' I’m not correcting her."
"Why do I bother sterilising milk bottles when my kid just licked the floor of Tesco."
"Wife got mad at me again. I guess it isn't funny to give the last rites to every plant she puts into the cart at Home Depot."
"the cat i’m watching rn screams whenever i get too close to her and also whenever i get too far away and i am suddenly feeling a lot of empathy for my ex boyfriends"
WHAT'S HAPPENING
“'We’ll cross that bridge when we come to it' OK but I’m gonna worry about the bridge now"
"Anytime my husband upsets me, I just add more shampoo bottles to our shower. Currently, there’s 47."
"Trying to take a picture with your cat is like eating soup on a rollercoaster."
"I told my kids to go to bed so naturally they are performing a musical."
"My husband’s version of helping out with the kids is yelling 'COME ON, GUYS!' from the couch."
"sorry i didnt reply my cat was laying on my chest and reminding me that life is worth living"