Drinking Quotes

“I try to convince myself that it's the alcohol talking. But alcohol can't talk. It just sits there. It can't even get itself out of the bottle.”
― David Levithan, The Lover's Dictionary

“There is no bad whiskey. There are only some whiskeys that aren't as good as others.”
― Raymond Chandler

“War and drink are the two things man is never too poor to buy.”
― William Faulkner

“Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker.”
― Ogden Nash, Hard Lines

“An over-indulgence of anything, even something as pure as water, can intoxicate.”
― Criss Jami, Venus in Arms

“Wine is the most healthful and most hygienic of beverages.”
― Louis Pasteur

“So much the worse for those who fear wine, for it is because they have some bad thoughts which they are afraid the liquor will extract from their hearts.”
― Alexandre Dumas, The Count of Monte Cristo

“Now tequila may be the favored beverage of outlaws but that doesn't mean it gives them preferential treatment. In fact, tequila probably has betrayed as many outlaws as has the central nervous system and dissatisfied wives. Tequila, scorpion honey, harsh dew of the doglands, essence of Aztec, crema de cacti; tequila, oily and thermal like the sun in solution; tequila, liquid geometry of passion; Tequila, the buzzard god who copulates in midair with the ascending souls of dying virgins; tequila, firebug in the house of good taste; O tequila, savage water of sorcery, what confusion and mischief your sly, rebellious drops do generate!”
― Tom Robbins, Still Life with Woodpecker

“There is no such joy in the tavern as upon the road thereto.”
― Cormac McCarthy, Blood Meridian, or the Evening Redness in the West

“Be wary of strong drink, it can make you shoot at the tax collector...and miss.”
― Robert A. Heinlein, Time Enough for Love

“it provokes the desire, but it takes away the performance”
― William Shakespeare, Macbeth

“Hitch: making rules about drinking can be the sign of an alcoholic,' as Martin Amis once teasingly said to me. (Adorno would have savored that, as well.) Of course, watching the clock for the start-time is probably a bad sign, but here are some simple pieces of advice for the young. Don't drink on an empty stomach: the main point of the refreshment is the enhancement of food. Don't drink if you have the blues: it's a junk cure. Drink when you are in a good mood. Cheap booze is a false economy. It's not true that you shouldn't drink alone: these can be the happiest glasses you ever drain. Hangovers are another bad sign, and you should not expect to be believed if you take refuge in saying you can't properly remember last night. (If you really don't remember, that's an even worse sign.) Avoid all narcotics: these make you more boring rather than less and are not designed—as are the grape and the grain—to enliven company. Be careful about up-grading too far to single malt Scotch: when you are voyaging in rough countries it won't be easily available. Never even think about driving a car if you have taken a drop. It's much worse to see a woman drunk than a man: I don't know quite why this is true but it just is. Don't ever be responsible for it.”
― Christopher Hitchens, Hitch 22: A Memoir

“I would not put a thief in my mouth to steal my brains.”
― William Shakespeare, Othello

“That is the remarkable thing about drinking: it brings people together so quickly, but between night and morning it sets an interval again of years.”
― Erich Maria Remarque, Three Comrades

“Fell in love with a beautiful blonde once. Drove me to drink. And I never had the decency to thank her.”
― W.C. Fields

“They're professionals at this in Russia, so no matter how many Jell-O shots or Jager shooters you might have downed at college mixers, no matter how good a drinker you might think you are, don't forget that the Russians - any Russian - can drink you under the table.”
― Anthony Bourdain, A Cook's Tour: Global Adventures in Extreme Cuisines

“Why are you drinking? demanded the little prince.
"So that I may forget," replied the tippler.
"Forget what?" inquired the little prince, who was already sorry for him.
"Forget that I am ashamed," the tippler confessed, hanging his head.
"Ashamed of what?" insisted the little prince, who wanted to help him.
"Ashamed of drinking!”
― Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, The Little Prince

“I always take Scotch whiskey at night as a preventive of toothache. I have never had the toothache; and what is more, I never intend to have it.”
― Mark Twain

“Pops: How about you finish this sentence for me, Jason? When a girl says no she means...
Justin, looking desperately at me: No?
Nana: Are you sure?
Justin, shifting uncomfortably: I'm sure. No means no.
Nana: Well look at you. You got one right. Now here's another, even tougher sentence for you to finish. Premarital sex is...
Me: Nana! I'm so sorry Justin.
Nana: Unlike Pops, I'm not moving on. Justin?
Pops: His name is Jason.
Justin:Uh....uh....
Pops: While you think about that, why don't you tell me how you feel about drinking and driving?
Justin: I'm totally against it, I swear!
Nana: Methinks he protests too much.”
― Gena Showalter, Alice in Zombieland

“Beer's intellectual. What a shame so many idiots drink it.

- The Watchful Poker Chip of H. Matisse”
― Ray Bradbury, The October Country

“99% of all problems can be solved by money -- and for the other 1% there's alcohol.”
― Quentin R. Bufogle

“Always remember, that I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.”
― Winston S. Churchill

“The problem with the designated driver program, it's not a desirable job, but if you ever get sucked into doing it, have fun with it. At the end of the night, drop them off at the wrong house.”
― Jeff Foxworthy

“Scotch whisky is made from barley and the morning dew on angel's nipples.”
― Warren Ellis

“The stains could be seen only in the sunlight, so Ruth was never really aware of them until later, when she would stop at an outdoor cafe for a cup of coffee, and look down at her skirt and see the dark traces of spilled vodka or whiskey. The alcohol had the effect of making the black cloth blacker. This amused her; she had noted in her journal: 'booze affects material as it does people'.”
― Alice Sebold, The Lovely Bones

“Drunken men give some of the best pep talks.”
― Criss Jami, Killosophy

“I am not a finished poem, and I am not the song you’ve turned me into. I am a detached human being, making my way in a world that is constantly trying to push me aside, and you who send me letters and emails and beautiful gifts wouldn’t even recognise me if you saw me walking down the street where I live tomorrow
for I am not a poem.
I am tired and worn out and the eyes you would see would not be painted or inspired
but empty and weary
from drinking too much
at all times
and I am not the life of your party who sings and has glorious words to speak
for I don’t speak much
at all
and my voice is raspy and unsteady from unhealthy living and not much sleep and I only use it when I sing and I always sing too much
or not at all
and never when people are around because they expect poems and symphonies and I am not
a poem
but an elegy
at my best
but unedited and uncut and not a lot of people want to work with me because there’s only so much you can do with an audio take, with the plug-ins and EQs and I was born distorted, disordered, and I’m pretty fine with that,
but others are not.”
― Charlotte Eriksson, Another Vagabond Lost To Love: Berlin Stories on Leaving & Arriving

“I'm a drinker with writing problems.”
― Brendan Behan

“I mean, you know how it is. You chase a bottle of sleeping pills with a bottle of Jack Daniel's and life's never the same, no matter how many times you try to tell people it was just an accident.”
― Courtney Summers, Cracked Up to Be

“When I finally caught up with Abraham Trahearne, he was drinking beer with an alcoholic bulldog named Fireball Roberts in a ramshackle joint just outside of Sonoma, California, drinking the heart right out of a fine spring afternoon.”
― James Crumley, The Last Good Kiss