60 Hot Ways to Turn Him On

Ugh, you know how good it feels when your partner like, pets you? Well, do that right back. While watching a movie, just hanging out, or in bed, run your fingers through their hair. Give them a little head massage. Works every time, trust.

Sexting is truly an under-utilized art form. If you enjoy building up anticipation, nothing is as playful as the teasing that comes from a good ol’ fashioned sext. Whether you’re into detailed sentences about the dirty things you want to do to your partner, or you’re more of a “show don’t tell” type of person, sexting covers it all. “Get creative and make it fun!” Dr. Coleman says. Just make absolutely sure that your partner is comfortable by talking about boundaries in advance.

Who ever said that scavenger hunts couldn’t be sexy? You can use intimate information (or items) that are special to you and your partner as clues. And as a prize? Naughty favors. “It creates a sense of intimacy and gives you pleasure,” Dr. Coleman says. “Best part about it? Everyone wins!”

Set up a date where you or your partner focus only on each other’s pleasure. “It's not about reciprocating, but it's all about giving,” Dr. Coleman says. A lot of this just involves staying in the moment and reconnecting with touch and sensation. You’ll see just how all of your senses are heightened by getting lost in pleasure and not focusing on making sex a performance.

Honestly, one of the hottest things you can do for anyone is give them your full attention. "Most people walk around with an invisible sign on their foreheads that says 'Make me feel important,'" explains erotic educator Taylor Sparks, founder of Organic Loven. "Find ways/things to compliment them. Is it their body, their mind, their desires, their dreams? Giving your person your utmost attention, especially in a public place, where there are lots of distractions, is a great boost to their ego."

As with anything sex-related, communication is key. "Ask them what turns them on and why that turns them on," says Sparks. "Be open/flexible to the possibility that they may be reluctant to share what turns them on because they are afraid of being judged." If you're not into what they want to do, totally fine (and uh, you obvi don't need to do it), but just giving them the space to share their fantasies is arousing.

And FWIW, if you're doing something that's not exactly working, Sofiya Alexandra, co-founder and co-host of the Private Parts Unknown podcast, suggests not taking it too personally. "It’s not a condemnation of you, it’s an adjustment in tactics," she explains.

Lots of people get turned on by visuals, and luckily, there's a whooole market for that in porn. That's why ASTROGLIDE resident sexologist, Jess O’Reilly, PhD, suggests watching something erotic together. There are lots of different porn options out there if you're new to the genre, so spend an evening exploring the options together then talking about what you liked/didn't like.

Dr. Jess adds you can also watch regular television and film programs together to uncover what themes and experiences lead to arousal (looking at you, Bridgerton).

If you're not up for watching porn—or visuals just aren't as much your thing—Dr. Jess says you can also consider reading a hot story, or listening to an erotic audiobook/audio porn together. There are tons of options out there, whether you want something short and to the point or a whole series with an epic story tied into the sexiness.

Also known as green/yellow/red list, this exercise is a sexy way to get to know desires, tackle consent...and turn your partner on. Yes, talking about consent can be a total turn-on. NYC sex therapist Kelly Wise, PhD suggests making these as a cute way to learn about one another and get in the mood. Take out a sheet of paper (or, you know, your Notes app) and have your partner do the same. In the “green” column, write down everything that you absolutely want to do. Things you might be down to try go in the “yellow” column, and the red column is for stuff that’s strictly off-limits.

For the truly adventurous out there, Play suggests going to a sex party or sex club together. "You don’t need to do anything with other people," he explains. "But sometimes, seeing what other people do is a real inspiration."

If you decide you *do* want to play, make sure to talk about your limits ahead of time. If you need help negotiating that, Play suggests checking out Dr. Zhana’s Open Smarter course.

If the idea of a sex club or sexy situation sounds hot but you don't actually want to do it, just have an evening talking about your fantasies in detail.

While you're chatting about what gets you going, Dr. Jess suggests discussing how you want and what you need to feel in order to get aroused. Do you want to feel loved? Challenged? Safe? Desired? Try to pinpoint what it is for each of you so you know what vibes to aim for when it comes to seduction.

Touch is obvi super arousing, but sometimes the softer the sensations, the hotter the seduction. "Use your eyes to look your partner up and down, [and then] use your hands to touch all over and really explore," suggests Dr. Jess. "Tune in to the sensations in your fingertips" and even use your nails to lightly scratch and stroke their skin.

The most basic way to turn someone on? Simply get aroused yourself. "Arousal is contagious," explains Play, so don't feel like you're doing all of this simply for your S.O. Turn yourself on by doing things that are both enjoyable for you and your partner.

If there's one thing that can take away from the mood, it's distractions. Tablets, computers, phones, clutter—Dr. Jess says to get rid of them all so you can concentrate on each other and not the pile of mail in the corner or text notifications that keep going off.

Even though you might not have considered it, outside factors can have major effects on someone's libido. "If someone is going through a lot of stress in their outside life—like losing a job or having some other big challenge—they might not be feeling confident," explains Play. And not feeling confident is a really great way to not feel sexy, which in turn, means you probably won't get aroused.

In this case, something as simple as a word of encouragement or a back rub to relieve some stress could be the key to a night of passion.

A cock ring is the perfect sexcessory to add to your playtime. And certified life coach Manya Wakefield recommends the Lelo Tor 2. "If you rotate it up, it will vibrate against your clitoris as you move with your partner. Rotate it down and it will drive them wild as it vibrates against the testicles," Wakefield says.

"Becoming connected to your partner through syncing your breaths together and by gazing eye-to-eye will connect your energy," says certified sexologist and tantra practitioner Tyomi Morgan.

Here's how to do it, per Morgan: "While facing each other, place your hand over their heart and their right hand over yours. Place your left hand over their hand, and ask them to place their left hand over yours. Then, stare into each other's eyes and breathe deeply into your diaphragm. Encourage them to stay in the same pattern as your breathing."

Yup, they can look but they can't touch...until they're begging. "Have them sit and watch you masturbate," suggests intimacy coach Ro Sanchez, CEO of She.Slips. Bonus points: Tie their hands up with a silk scarf or some handcuffs.

Yes, we’ve already covered touching yourself in front of your partner, but this kind of feeling yourself is all about confidence. Because, hi, the rumors are true; being confident is perhaps the biggest turn-on there is. Everyone’s sexual template is different, but by understanding your own and owning it, you can seriously turn up the heat with your partner.

Okay, so, yes, confidence comes from within, but an amazing lingerie set can fast-track that process—while getting your partner all kinds of horned up, of course. Hi, there’s literally no shame in invoking a little glamor magic (aka the practice of using clothing, make-up, and other vanities to get what you want) in bed.