Marriage and weddings

Christian weddings

Christian marriage

Christians believe that marriage is a gift from God, one that should not be taken for granted. It is the right atmosphere to engage in sexual relations and to build a family life. Getting married in a church, in front of God, is very important.

A marriage is a public declaration of love and commitment. This declaration is made in front of friends and family in a church ceremony.

The history of marriage

Marriage vows, in the form "To have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part", have been recited at UK church weddings since 1552.

But before the wedding service was written into the Book of Common Prayer, marriages were much more informal: couples could simply promise themselves to one another at any time or place and the spoken word was as good as the written contract.

In this audio clip, three academics - Janet Soskice, Reader in Modern Theology and Philosophical Theology, Cambridge University; Frederik Pedersen, Lecturer in History, Aberdeen University; and Christina Hardyment, social historian and journalist - discuss the history of and the role of state and church in marriage.

Church of England weddings

Marriage in the Church of England

Where can couples marry?

A couple may marry in their local Church of England parish church if either the man or woman lives in the parish. Before 2007, they could not be married in another parish unless they had attended church services there for six months and were on its electoral roll.

In July 2007, however, the Church of England initiated a change in the law to make it easier for couples to have a church wedding in a parish other than their own. The changes make it easier for a couple to marry in a church where there is a family or other special connection.

The following are qualifying connections:

• One of the couple was baptised or confirmed in the parish
• One of the couple has (at any time) lived there for a period of six months or more
• One of the couple attended services there for six months or more
• A parent of one of the couple lived or attended services there for six months or more
• A parent or grandparent of one of the couple was married there

The meeting of the General Synod on Saturday 7 July 2007 unanimously approved the draft measure. Because the Church of England is the official state church, the measure had to be approved by the Parliamentary Ecclesiastical Committee before going through both Houses of Parliament and receiving Royal Assent. It is expected to become law in autumn 2008.

Before the wedding

Before the ceremony, there are several things the couple must do. Firstly, they must arrange to have their banns (a public announcement of a forthcoming marriage) read out on three Sundays during the three months before the wedding. They must be read out in the parishes of both people. If the banns cannot be read out for any reason, a special licence can be issued by the bishop of the diocese.

Secondly, the couple must speak to the priest about hymns and prayers they may want on the day. Many couples want to include extra touches, such as flower arrangements or musicians.

Some churches offer marriage preparation, where the priest will discuss subjects such as money, conflict, communication and sex. This throws up possible problems which the couple may come across during their marriage, and helps suggest ideas for handling them.

A Church of England wedding ceremony

The ceremony itself has a fairly uniform order:

• Beginning the service: the priest welcomes the congregation and then reads out what Christians believe in marriage.
• Declarations: the couple make their promises in front of God that they will love, comfort, honour and protect their partner as long as they both shall live.
• Vows: The couple then make their vows to one another.

• Rings: The couple exchange rings and say:

• Proclamation: the priest tells the couple that they are now husband and wife.
• Prayers: prayers are said for the couple. They may include a prayer for the gift of children, but this is optional.
• Readings and sermon: there will be some readings from the Bible and the minister gives a sermon.
• Signing of the register: the bride and groom, along with two witnesses, sign the register, which is a legal requirement. They receive a legally binding marriage certificate.

Is marriage losing its religious significance?

Orthodox Jewish and Church of England contributors discuss the question with a marriage counsellor.

Catholic weddings

Marriage in the Catholic Church

The Catholic Church teaches that marriage is God's doing: "God himself is the author of marriage", which is his way of showing love for those he created. Because a marriage is a divine institution it can never be broken, even if the partners are legally divorced: as long as they are both alive, the Church considers them bound together by God.

Catholics are encouraged to marry other Catholics in order to attain a "perfect union of mind and full communion of life", but it is also the priest's duty to remember that marriage is part of God's natural law and to support the couple if they do choose to marry.

Today in countries throughout the world it is common for Catholics to enter into a 'mixed marriage' (a marriage between a Catholic and a baptised non-Catholic).

Couples entering into a mixed marriage are usually allowed to marry in a Catholic church provided they have embraced the following principles:

• They have chosen to marry of their own accord with no external pressure
• They intend to remain together for life
• They intend to be faithful to each other
• They intend to have children if the bride is of childbearing age

When one member of the couple is not a Catholic, a dispensation is required for a mixed marriage to take place. This is normally granted by the priest who is conducting the marriage.

If one of the partners is not baptised (they belong to a non-Christian religion, or to none) a dispensation for 'disparity of the cult' is required. This must be granted by the bishop. It is usually a straightforward matter as long as the dispensation is applied for in time. The priest will usually take care of the paperwork.

Catholic teaching on marriage to non-Catholics

The Catechism of the Catholic Church recognises that mixed marriages can pose difficulties but it also points towards the importance of growing together through dialogue and a common faith in Jesus Christ.

The Catechism also makes a distinction between a mixed marriage and a marriage with 'disparity of cult' (a marriage between a Catholic and non-baptised person).

Priests are required by the Church to ensure that such marriages will not endanger the faith of the Catholic partner. In practice, priests will judge each situation on a case by case basis. If difficulties arise, it is the pastoral duty of the priest to raise questions and initiate a frank discussion with the couple. He would use the same logic as any other situation in life where the faith of a Catholic could be in jeopardy.

While the Church urges caution in the case of marriages between Catholics and non-Catholics, it does not prevent a Catholic from marrying the person of their choice.

The Catechism of the Catholic Church sets out the position:

Preparing for marriage

Before a marriage takes place, a couple must spend time with the priest to talk about the sanctity of marriage and their role within the church in preparation for their life together. Questions concerning family and children, money issues, lifestyle choices and religion will be asked.

These marriage preparations are known as pre-Cana. It is an educational and maturing process for married life. Pre-Cana can take place over six months or an intensive weekend course and is mandatory for Catholics wishing to get married.

Whilst a couple is engaged but not yet married, they are expected to refrain from sexual activity: "They should reserve for marriage the expressions of affection that belong to married love". This is because the Church teaches that sex is part of the procreation process and should only happen within the right framework, which is marriage.

A Catholic wedding ceremony

There are two types of Catholic marriage ceremony. One is with Mass and celebrates the Eucharist, which lasts for about an hour. The other is without Mass and only takes about 20 minutes.

The ceremony including Mass is as follows:

1. Entrance rite: there is a procession, which may include a hymn. The priest greets the congregation then the Penitential rite and opening prayers are said.
2. Liturgy of the Word: Bible readings, one from the Old Testament, a responsorial psalm, a New Testament reading, a Gospel acclamation, a Gospel reading and a homily (a practical sermon, not a theological one)
3. The rite of marriage: questions are asked about the couples' faithfulness to one another and their willingness to bring up children. Then the vows are made and the rings are exchanged.
4. Liturgy of the Eucharist: gifts are presented and the altar is prepared. Then the Eucharist prayer is said. Then the following are sung: Sanctus Sanctus, Memorial acclamation and Great Amen.
5. Communion rite: The Lord's Prayer is said which is followed by a nuptial blessing. Then follows the Sign of Peace, Agnus Dei and Communion Hymn (sung).
6. Concluding rite: The final blessing is made, there is a dismissal and the couple kiss. There is a recessional hymn which accompanies everyone out of the church.

In a wedding without Mass, the Liturgy of the Eucharist is missed out.

Official Catholic doctrine regarding marriage

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• Church of England
• Catholic Church