Customer Review
- Reviewed in the United States on May 28, 2012Dr. Leman hit the nail on the head! I've started using the method on my own child and I can already start to see improvements. There's less whining, and more cooperation and happiness in our home. I have read many Christian conservative parenting books that advocate the use of the rod, cited in the Bible as a punishment tool for spanking, but Dr. Leman clarifies this often misquoted passage in scripture. He defines the use of the rod, not to be a punishing tool, but a guiding tool just as shepherds used it for their sheep. "Thy rod and they staff they COMFORT me." When I was a child, I never remember a spanking to be comforting! However, he does believe in spanking to be used in moderation during the younger years, before the child is old enough to fully comprehend the wrongness of their actions. This book focuses on the older child, but he does briefly touch on the infant and toddler years.
He emphasizes discipline over punishment using a method he calls Reality Discipline. The child can make their own decisions (except those that compromise health, or well-being) all the while loving, supporting and encouraging them. He learns by suffering the consequences of the decisions he makes. For example, if a child refuses to eat the food you make him for dinner, take the plate away and throw the food in the trash. Instead of spanking, forcing, bribing, or tempting with dessert, the child will have to face the consequences. Dinner is over. The child will go to bed without dinner that night, but will not make that mistake twice! He believes in letting children fail and through their failure, they will learn to do better next time. Dr. Leman rightly believes that it's better to get to the heart of your child by correcting the wrong behavior, and not punishing with a temporary Band-Aid spanking. HIGHLY RECOMMENDED!!
