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You Will Not Recognize Your Life Audible Audiobook – Original recording

Micaela Blei (Author, Narrator), Audible Originals (Publisher)
5.0 5.0 out of 5 stars 5 ratings
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Can you really conjure the life of your dreams? And what if you say the wrong spell?

It’s 2006. After a string of rejections from men who tell her they could never, ever, ever see her “that way,” awkward third-grade teacher Micaela Blei signs up for a mysterious course called “The Divine Feminine,” and feels like she might have found the key to the perfect life.

Turns out if you’re an A student, you can get an A in anything–including men. Pretty soon she’s learning to "conjure" her desires with vision boards, flirtations, and even a daring jumbotron viewing party for her, ahem ... "divine center." But the more Micaela aces her assignments, and watches her most unlikely dreams come true, the more she wonders: Is her perfect new life the real thing, or is there a hidden cost to getting everything she thought she wanted?

Women have put themselves through a lot of f*cked up situations to feel valued and lovable. This is a sharply funny, often painfully relatable true story featuring the great tropes of early 2000s romantic comedies: self-discovery, dating disasters, epic makeover montages, and finding love where you never thought to look.

Praise for Micaela’s storytelling:

"Ms. Blei’s story was magical and riveting ... in the end, you really wanted her to be your teacher." (Lara O’Brien, MV Times)

“Micaela is a storytelling wizard. She transforms the stuff of everyday life into profound stories that move people–and make them laugh.” (Tyler Wetherall, author of No Way Home: A Memoir of Life on the Run and Amphibian)

“Micaela Blei's storytelling is fresh, hilarious, and surprisingly moving.” (Sarah Moore, Theatre Is Easy)

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  1. Listening Length
    2 hours and 48 minutes
  2. Author
    Micaela Blei
  3. Narrator
    Micaela Blei
  4. Audible release date
    December 12, 2024
  5. Language
    English
  6. Publisher
    Audible Originals
  7. ASIN
    B0DDM316XP
  8. Version
    Original recording
  9. Program Type
    Audiobook
  10. See all details
Next slide of product details
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Product details

Listening Length 2 hours and 48 minutes
Author Micaela Blei
Narrator Micaela Blei
Audible.com Release Date December 12, 2024
Publisher Audible Originals
Program Type Audiobook
Version Original recording
Language English
ASIN B0DDM316XP
Narration accent American English
Best Sellers Rank #70,186 in Audible Books & Originals (See Top 100 in Audible Books & Originals)
#425 in Love, Dating & Attraction
#728 in Biographies of Women
#1,278 in Love & Romance (Books)

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5 out of 5 stars
5 global ratings

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Top reviews from the United States

  • Alma Otero
    5.0 out of 5 stars I love it!!
    Reviewed in the United States on January 14, 2025
    I really enjoyed this book and learning a thing or 2. I laughed how candid she narrate her story. I absolutely loved the book.
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  • Lawless
    5.0 out of 5 stars Soooooo good!!!
    Reviewed in the United States on January 10, 2025
    You Will Not Recognize Your Life is hilarious and tender. It made me feel good about being a woman: a three dimensional one. So good!
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  • David S Steingard
    5.0 out of 5 stars Laughed out loud/left my heart bigger
    Reviewed in the United States on December 17, 2024
    I actually chose to walk in 27F so I could listen to more of Micaela's memoir. It is laugh out loud funny and made all the more delightful by Micaela's super expert delivery. Her generous self-reflection on the pink feather boa/cult adjacent/perfect-love-seeking chapter of her life will leave your heart bigger.
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  • Karl Schatz
    5.0 out of 5 stars Hilarious, Heartbreaking and Heartwarming
    Reviewed in the United States on December 15, 2024
    An amazing, incredibly honest personal journey about the search to find one's best and true self. Real and vulnerable, and funny. Very, very funny. I basically listened straight through -- it was hard to turn it off because I really wanted to know how it all turned out. You won't be disappointed.
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  • jess
    5.0 out of 5 stars Hilarious and vulnerable
    Reviewed in the United States on December 12, 2024
    I don't usually love audiobooks but found myself laughing out loud at this one-- it's funny, tender, and so personal. It's a pleasure to spend time with Micaela!
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