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Bittersweet: How Sorrow and Longing Make Us Whole Penguin Random House LLC

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Bittersweet (Oprah's Book Club): How Sorrow and Longing Make Us Whole Hardcover – April 5, 2022

by Susan Cain (Author)

4.5 2,119 ratings

Goodreads Choice Award nominee

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#1 NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • OPRAH’S BOOK CLUB PICK • The author of the bestselling phenomenon Quiet explores the power of the bittersweet personality, revealing a misunderstood side of mental health and creativity while offering a roadmap to facing heartbreak in order to live life to the fullest.

“Bittersweet has the power to transform the way you see your life and the world.”—OPRAH
“Grabs you by the heart and doesn’t let go.”—BRENÉ BROWN, author of Atlas of the Heart
“Susan Cain has described and validated my existence once again!”—GLENNON DOYLE, author of Untamed
“The perfect cure for toxic positivity.”—ADAM GRANT, author of Think Again

LONGLISTED FOR THE PORCHLIGHT BUSINESS BOOK AWARD • ONE OF THE BEST BOOKS OF THE YEAR: The Wall Street Journal, Mashable

Bittersweetness is a tendency to states of longing, poignancy, and sorrow; an acute awareness of passing time; and a curiously piercing joy at the beauty of the world. It recognizes that light and dark, birth and death—bitter and sweet—are forever paired.

If you’ve ever wondered why you like sad music . . .
If you find comfort or inspiration in a rainy day . . .
If you react intensely to music, art, nature, and beauty . . .

Then you probably identify with the bittersweet state of mind.

With Quiet, Susan Cain urged our society to cultivate space for the undervalued, indispensable introverts among us, thereby revealing an untapped power hidden in plain sight. Now she employs the same mix of research, storytelling, and memoir to explore why we experience sorrow and longing, and how embracing the bittersweetness at the heart of life is the true path to creativity, connection, and transcendence.

Cain shows how a bittersweet state of mind is the quiet force that helps us transcend our personal and collective pain, whether from a death or breakup, addiction or illness. If we don’t acknowledge our own heartache, she says, we can end up inflicting it on others via abuse, domination, or neglect. But if we realize that all humans know—or will know—loss and suffering, we can turn toward one another.

At a time of profound discord and personal anxiety, Bittersweet brings us together in deep and unexpected ways.

Print length

352 pages
Language

English
Publisher

Crown
Publication date

April 5, 2022
Dimensions

6.44 x 1.16 x 9.51 inches
ISBN-10

0451499786
ISBN-13

978-0451499783
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It’s an authentic and elevating response to the problem of being alive in a deeply flawed yet stubbornly beautiful world.
Highlighted by 2,074 Kindle readers
The place you suffer, in other words, is the same place you care profoundly—care enough to act.
Highlighted by 1,884 Kindle readers
And the message of all these stories, the secret that our poets and philosophers have been trying to tell us for centuries, is that our longing is the great gateway to belonging.
Highlighted by 1,126 Kindle readers

From the Publisher

Daniel Pink says Bittersweet is astonishing


	Quiet	Quiet Journal

Customer Reviews	34,068	200
Price	$10.86	$14.45
	Experience the book that started the Quiet Movement and revolutionized how the world sees introverts—and how introverts see themselves—by offering validation, inclusion, and inspiration.	Harness your hidden talents, empower communication at home and at work, and nurture your best self with this guided journal based on book Quiet.

Editorial Reviews

Amazon.com Review

An Amazon Best Book of April 2022: For the many of us who enjoyed Cain’s 2012 book Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking, the question of what she’d write next has lingered. Bittersweet: How Sorrow and Longing Make Us Whole seems like a natural follow up, and it will have just as powerful an effect on readers. It turns out that sadness is the heart of compassion, and compassion is the heart of being human. Cain describes how sorrow and longing are adaptive traits with benefits that far outweigh the suffering they put us through. And they aren’t just human qualities. In fact, sorrow is on par with functions like digestion and breathing—it’s part of the mechanics of living. Through research and stories, Cain takes us through a journey of understanding, and Bittersweet will be a timely and welcome read for so many. It will help a lot of people to process how they are feeling—indeed, how we all feel sometimes. —Chris Schluep, Amazon Editor

Review

“A thoughtful examination of the melancholic disposition . . . a unique blend of psychology, biography, spirituality, musical references and pop culture. For those feeling sorrowful or dealing with a loss, the idea of transforming pain into creativity, transcendence and love is a compelling one. Cain does an excellent job of using research, case studies and personal stories to justify her argument. It is a unique view in a culture that tends to medicate strong feelings rather than welcome them.”—The Wall Street Journal

“Bittersweet is astonishing—one of the most gracefully written, palpably human books I’ve read in years. Its powerful case will reshape how you think about yourself and those you love. Its sheer beauty will linger in your heart long after you turn the final page.”—Daniel H. Pink, #1 New York Times bestselling author of When, Drive, and A Whole New Mind

“Susan Cain does it again! As the author of the worldwide phenomenon Quiet, she changed how the world sees introverts. Now she has written a book that will change how the world sees sorrow and longing. This book is an absolute triumph: It’s for anyone who has ever really lived, loved, or lost.”—Greg McKeown, host of the What’s Essential podcast and the author of the New York Times bestsellers Effortless and Essentialism

“Susan Cain’s Bittersweet grabs you by the heart and doesn’t let go. I’ve thought about the depth and beauty in Cain’s research and storytelling every day since I finished the book. I will always be grateful for how much Quiet and Bittersweet have helped me understand myself and how I engage with the world.”—Brené Brown, Ph.D., author of the #1 New York Times bestseller Atlas of the Heart

“A decade ago, I found myself inside Quiet. With Bittersweet, Susan Cain has described and validated my existence once again! Her new book reaffirms that my constant, achy awareness of life’s brutiful is a way of being shared across the ages with artists, healers, and anyone who pays deep attention. I’ll place Bittersweet in the hands of all my feely, achy, beautiful friends.”—Glennon Doyle, author of the #1 New York Times bestseller Untamed and founder and president of Together Rising

“This is the rare book that doesn’t just open your eyes—it touches your heart and sings to your soul. Susan Cain gave a voice to introverts, and now she masterfully paints our heaviest emotions in a light that’s long overdue. Bittersweet is the perfect cure for toxic positivity and a sparkling ode to the beauty of the human condition.”—Adam Grant, #1 New York Times bestselling author of Think Again

About the Author

Named one of the top ten influencers in the world by LinkedIn, Susan Cain is a renowned speaker and author of the award-winning books Quiet Power, Quiet Journal, and Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking. Translated into more than forty languages, Quiet hasappeared on many best-of lists, spent more than seven years on the New York Times bestseller list, and was named the #1 best book of the year by Fast Company, which also named Cain one of its Most Creative People in Business. Her TED Talk on the power of introverts has been viewed over forty million times.

Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.

CHAPTER 1

What is sadness good for?

Before you know kindness as the deepest thing inside,

you must know sorrow as the other deepest thing.

—NAOMI SHIHAB NYE

In 2010, celebrated Pixar director Pete Docter decided to make an animated film about the wild and woolly emotions of an eleven-year-old girl named Riley. He knew the rough outlines of the story he wanted to tell. The film would open with Riley, uprooted from her Minnesota hometown and plunked down in a new house and school in San Francisco, while also caught in the emotional storm of incoming adolescence.

So far, so good. But Docter faced a creative puzzle. He wanted to depict Riley’s feelings as lovable animated characters running a control center in her brain, shaping her memories and daily life. But which feelings? Psychologists told him that we have up to twenty-seven different emotions. But you can’t tell a good story about so many different characters. Docter needed to narrow it down, and to pick one emotion as the main protagonist.

He considered a few different emotions for the starring role, then decided to place Fear at the center of the movie, alongside Joy; partly, he says, because Fear is funny. He considered Sadness, but this seemed unappealing. Docter had grown up in Minnesota, where, he told me, the sanguine norms were clear: “The idea that you’d cry in front of people was very uncool.”

But three years into the development of the film—with the dialogue already done, the movie partially animated, the gags with Fear already in place, some of them “quite inspired”—he realized that something was wrong. Docter was scheduled to screen the film-in-progress for Pixar’s executive team. And he was sure it was a failure. The third act didn’t work. According to the film’s narrative arc, Joy should have learned a great lesson. But Fear had nothing to teach her.

At that point in his career, Docter had enjoyed two mega-successes—Up and Monsters, Inc. But he started to feel sure that these hits were flukes.

“I don’t know what I’m doing,” he thought. “I should just quit.”

His mind spun into dark daydreams of a post-Pixar future in which he’d lost not only his job but also his career. He went into preemptive mourning. The thought of living outside his treasured community of creatives and business mavericks made him feel he was drowning—in Sadness. And the more despondent he grew, the more he realized how much he loved his colleagues.

Which led to his epiphany: The real reason for his emotions—for all our emotions—is to connect us. And Sadness, of all the emotions, was the ultimate bonding agent.

“I suddenly had an idea that we needed to get Fear out of there,” he recalls now, “and Sadness connected with Joy.” The only problem was, he had to convince John Lasseter, who ran Pixar at the time, to place Sadness at the heart of the movie. And he was worried that this would be a tough sell.

Docter tells me this story as we sit in the airy, light-filled atrium designed by Steve Jobs for Pixar’s Emeryville, California, campus. We’re surrounded by larger-than-life sculptures of Pixar characters—the Parr family from The Incredibles, Buzz from Toy Story, all of them striking poses by sky-high glass windows. Docter enjoys cult status at Pixar. Earlier that day, I’d led an executive session on harnessing the talents of introverted filmmakers, and a few minutes into the proceedings, Docter had bounded into the conference room, instantly lighting up the room with his warmth.

Docter resembles an animated character himself, drawn mainly of rectangles. He has a gangly six-foot-four frame and a long face, half of which is forehead. Even his teeth are long and rectangular, the beanpoles of the dental world. But his most salient feature is the animation of his facial expressions. His smiles and grimaces convey a bright, winsome sensitivity. When he was a kid, his family moved to Copenhagen so his father could research a Ph.D. on Danish choral music. Docter didn’t speak the language and had no idea what the other kids were saying. The pain of that experience drew him to animation; it was easier to draw people than talk to them. Even now, he’s apt to create characters who live in treehouses and float away into a wordless dreamscape.

Docter was concerned that the executive team would find Sadness too glum, too dark. The animators had drawn the character as dowdy, squat, and blue. Why would you place a figure like that at the center of a movie? Who would want to identify with her?

Throughout this process, Docter had an unlikely ally: Dacher Keltner, an influential University of California, Berkeley, psychology professor. Docter had called in Keltner to educate him and his colleagues on the science of emotions. They became close friends. Keltner’s daughter was suffering the slings and arrows of adolescence at the same time as Docter’s, and the two men bonded over vicarious angst. Keltner taught Docter and his team the functions of each major emotion: Fear keeps you safe. Anger protects you from getting taken advantage of. And Sadness—what does Sadness do?

Keltner had explained that Sadness triggers compassion. It brings people together. It helps you see just how much your community of quirky Pixar filmmakers means to you.

The executive team approved the idea, and Docter and his team rewrote the movie—which ultimately won the Oscar for Best Animated Feature and was the highest grossing original film in Pixar history—with Sadness in the starring role.

When you first meet Dacher Keltner—who has flowing blond locks; the relaxed, athletic aura of a surfer; and a lighthouse-beam smile—he seems an unlikely ambassador for Sadness. His default state seems more like Joy. He radiates warmth and caring, and has a sincere politician’s gift for seeing and appreciating others. Keltner runs the Berkeley Social Interaction Lab and the Greater Good Science Center, two of the world’s most influential positive psychology labs, where his job is to study the emotional goodies of being alive: wonder, awe, happiness.

But spend some time with Keltner and you notice that the corners of his eyes turn down like a basset hound’s, and that he describes himself as anxious and melancholic—as a bittersweet type. “Sadness is at the core of who I am,” he tells me. In my book Quiet, I described the research of Harvard psychologist Jerome Kagan and Elaine Aron, which found that 15 to 20 percent of babies inherit a temperament that predisposes them to react more intensely to life’s uncertainty as well as its glory. Keltner considers himself what Kagan would call a born “high-reactive,” or what Aron would call “highly sensitive.”

Keltner was raised in a wild and starry-eyed 1970s household. His father was a firefighter and painter who took him to art museums and taught him Taoism, his mother a literature professor who read him Romantic poetry and was especially fond of D. H. Lawrence. Keltner and his younger brother, Rolf, who were very close, roamed around nature at all hours of the day and night. Their parents encouraged them to figure out their core passions, and to build a life around them.

But in their quest to experience life in all its intensity, Keltner’s parents moved the family at a dizzying pace: from a small town in Mexico, where he was born in a tiny clinic; to Laurel Canyon, a countercultural California neighborhood in the Hollywood Hills, where they lived next door to Jackson Browne’s pianist and Keltner went to second grade at a school called Wonderland; to a rural farm town in the Sierra foothills, where few of his fifth-grade classmates were destined for college. By the time the family arrived in Nottingham, England, when Keltner was in high school, his parents’ marriage had imploded. His father fell in love with the wife of a family friend; his mother started traveling back and forth to Paris to study experimental theater. Keltner and Rolf, left on their own, got drunk and threw parties. They were never a foursome again.

On the outside Keltner seemed—seems still—like a golden child. But the abrupt shattering had what he describes as a “long, enduring sad effect” on him and his family. His father mostly disappeared; his mother became clinically depressed; Keltner suffered three years of full-blown panic attacks. Rolf, who would grow up to be a dedicated speech therapist in an impoverished community, and a devoted husband and father, battled the demons of what one physician diagnosed as bipolar disorder: insomnia, binge eating, and regular beer and marijuana to calm his nerves.

Of all these unravelings, it was Rolf’s struggles that shook Keltner most. Partly because his brother had been his anchor from the time they were small: In every neighborhood into which they crash-landed, they were boon companions, fellow explorers of the new terrain, tennis partners who never lost a doubles match. When the family fell apart, they fended for themselves, together.

Product details

Publisher ‏ : ‎ Crown (April 5, 2022)
Language ‏ : ‎ English
Hardcover ‏ : ‎ 352 pages
ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 0451499786
ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-0451499783
Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 1.2 pounds
Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 6.44 x 1.16 x 9.51 inches

Best Sellers Rank: #33,078 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- #120 in Popular Psychology Personality Study
- #128 in Love & Loss
- #937 in Personal Transformation Self-Help

Customer Reviews:
4.5 2,119 ratings

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Susan Cain

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SUSAN CAIN is the author of the #1 New York Times bestsellers QUIET: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking, and BITTERSWEET: How Sorrow and Longing Make Us Whole. She has spent the last twenty years exploring a particular realm of human nature: the quiet, the sensitive, the thoughtful, the bittersweet. It has always seemed clear to her - and to her millions of readers - that this way of being can lead to a richer, deeper form of happiness. Susan’s books have been translated into 40+ languages, and her record-smashing TED talks have been viewed over 50 million times on TED and YouTube combined. Susan is the host of the Audible series, A QUIET LIFE IN SEVEN STEPS, and the QUIET LIFE online community. Join her on Substack at TheQuietLife dot net.

Customer reviews

2,119 global ratings

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Customers say

Customers find the book insightful, wisdom-filled, and poignant. They praise the writing style as excellent, eloquent, and incredible. Readers also appreciate the value of emotions and heartwarming stories about love.

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Insight Writing style Emotion level Storytelling quality

36 customers mention "Insight"33 positive3 negative

Customers find the book insightful, filled with wisdom, truths, and poignancy. They say it's a wonderful journey of discovery into how humans can turn pain into joy. Readers also mention the book is masterfully presented and developed.

"...This book doesn’t just engage the mind; it engages the body, the emotions, and the spirit...." Read more

"...I admit finding this book very revealing and interesting when it comes to some of the hidden emotions, we sometimes have that often come spilling..." Read more

"“Bittersweet” is full of poignancy, shining light on how to embrace your full emotional experience and find pockets of joy in the midst of sorrow—..." Read more

"...The author has a warm, engaging, intimate style of writing that makes you feel that instead of reading the words on the page, you are listening to..." Read more

21 customers mention "Writing style"16 positive5 negative

Customers find the writing style excellent, eloquent, and sensitive. They say the content is fine but not innovative. Readers also mention the author artfully combines research, storytelling, and memoir to engage them.

"...Cain’s writing style is quite accessible despite some difficult (at times) to understand concepts...." Read more

"...The author has a warm, engaging, intimate style of writing that makes you feel that instead of reading the words on the page, you are listening to..." Read more

"...of the truth of Susan Cain's words, but also for her humanity, her eloquence, and the validation she offers on every page as a gift...." Read more

"...I read a lot, and this book in particular was a bit boring." Read more

12 customers mention "Emotion level"12 positive0 negative

Customers find the book heartwarming, excellent, and powerful. They say it's a good journey into the bittersweet, permeating nearly every meaningful conversation they have had since beginning. Readers also mention the book is full of beauty and wisdom.

"...Chapter 3, this book is not merely a read; it’s an experience that touches my essence...." Read more

"...That longing is a beautiful thing. It’s bitter, but also sweet as I reflect on it...." Read more

"...Susan Cain is a good writer and the bittersweet test is really revealing...." Read more

"...our overly optimistic culture and sharing some deep, powerful stories about love, loss and longing...." Read more

4 customers mention "Storytelling quality"0 positive4 negative

Customers find the storytelling quality of the book to be basic and repetitive. They also say it's hard to grasp the themes of the book.

"...but after that opening, it was harder to grasp the themes of this book, to sit with them...." Read more

"...It did not resonate. I did not enjoy the story of how she didn’t get along with her mother...." Read more

"Snippets of storytelling with very little purpose. Very basic, not profound or helpful as advertised." Read more

"Interesting but a bit repetitive..." Read more

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CK

This book speaks to my entire being

Reviewed in the United States on August 31, 2024

Verified Purchase

Bittersweet resonates on the deepest of levels. Though I’ve only reached Chapter 3, this book is not merely a read; it’s an experience that touches my essence. When a friend mentioned it in passing, I felt an immediate pull. Within minutes of listening to the Audible version, I needed the hard copy to hold in my hands, underline, and linger over each paragraph.

This book doesn’t just engage the mind; it engages the body, the emotions, and the spirit. It invites you to explore the full spectrum of what it means to be human—our joys, sorrows, and profound connections to one another. The music and videos referenced throughout are more than mere suggestions; they are companions on this journey, each one deepening the experience. Listening to the "Band of Brothers" as I navigate the chaos of a bustling city brings unexpected joy and a shift in perspective that lingers long after the music fades.

Bittersweet is more than a book; it’s a gift. I’m eager to share it with friends and family. This is a book to be savored, shared, and remembered.

As someone who has always been drawn to the beauty of melancholy, Bittersweet resonates with me on the deepest of levels. Though I’ve only reached Chapter 3, I can already tell that this book is not merely a read; it’s an experience that touches the very essence of who I am. When a friend mentioned it in passing, I felt an immediate pull. Within minutes of downloading the Audible version, I knew I needed the hard copy to hold in my hands, to underline, to linger over each word.

This book doesn’t just engage the mind; it engages the body, the emotions, and the spirit. It invites you to explore the full spectrum of what it means to be human—our joys, sorrows, and profound connections to one another. The music and videos referenced throughout are more than mere suggestions; they are companions on this journey, each one deepening the experience. Listening to the "Band of Brothers" as I navigate the chaos of a bustling city brings unexpected joy and a shift in perspective that lingers long after the music fades.

Bittersweet is more than a book; it’s a gift. I’m eager to share it with friends and family, knowing that it will touch them just as deeply as it has touched me. This is a book to be savored, shared, and remembered.

One person found this helpful

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Joseph J. Truncale

An interesting and revealing book that is a great read.

Reviewed in the United States on March 21, 2023

Verified Purchase

As someone well into their senior years, I have been very fortunate to have had a full life filled with happiness, joy, adventure, danger, unbearable sorrow, and of course lots of love. One of the things that have kept me sane was my voracious love of books.

After I read this author’s book “Quiet” and liked it, I decided to also read Susan Cain’s Bitter-sweet, which I purchased on Amazon. I enjoyed and liked her book “Quiet” but I really loved this book, Bitter-sweet. Even though more women will probably like this book than men readers; however, as someone who is inside my consciousness a true romantic, I related too many of the emotions and feelings this book invokes within your soul.

Indeed, songs can often make me both sad and happy depending on the memories that are imprinted on my mind and heart. I think many times that some people might find me strange because I look forward to cloudy, cool, rainy days of autumn more so than the hot, sweaty days of summer.

I admit finding this book very revealing and interesting when it comes to some of the hidden emotions, we sometimes have that often come spilling out at various times. I have learned to accept the simple truth in the saying, “do not expect life to be fair, because life just is.” As flawed human beings, as the famous song (Sunrise Sunset) says, “one season following another, filled with happiness and tears.”

I loved this book and if you are a fan of Susan Cain’s books you should checkout this one.
Rating: 5 Stars. Joseph J. Truncale (Author: Zen Poetry Moments: Haiku and Senryu for special occasions).

64 people found this helpful

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carolynmharper

Living Compassionately towards Yourself and Others—A Journey of Poignancy

Reviewed in the United States on June 29, 2022

Verified Purchase

“Bittersweet” is full of poignancy, shining light on how to embrace your full emotional experience and find pockets of joy in the midst of sorrow—the bittersweet. There were some passages that I found profound, others that resonated with me, and still others that I was inspired to find ways to incorporate them into teaching my college freshman English classes. Cain’s writing style is quite accessible despite some difficult (at times) to understand concepts. That said, I found the beginning of the book a little hard to get into, but it was well worth the effort.

7 people found this helpful

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K. Turner

Moving and beautiful

Reviewed in the United States on May 27, 2022

Verified Purchase

I picked this book up after reading a testimonial by Brene Brown, but wasn't entirely sure what to expect. From the very first words, I fell in love with both this book and the author's writing style. I lost track of how many times my arms broke into goosebumps while reading a passage, how many times I felt seen and understood, how many times I teared up, how many times I was fascinated by something new I'd just learned that felt it was unlocking a piece of that deep understanding for life that we all long for.

The author has a warm, engaging, intimate style of writing that makes you feel that instead of reading the words on the page, you are listening to her speaking softly right next to you. You can feel her passion for the subject with every word, as well as the emotion within every anecdote she shares. And when you're done, you're left with a new appreciation for the intensely bittersweet moments of sorrow and longing you experience and, consequently, a deeper and richer perspective on life.

This book deserves ten stars or more and should be on everyone's reading list. I'm excited to know it's not the only one the author has written; I'll definitely be reading everything else she publishes.

18 people found this helpful

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Hussain A.

A wholesome experience

Reviewed in Canada on October 27, 2023

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I was blown away by the book's introduction. The musician playing in a war zone, the moonlight sonata, identifying oneself as a musician, and finally, the story about the author's mother; all these tugged hard on my soul. There were many places in the book where I filled with longing in my heart and tears in my eyes.

It's not what the book tells me but also what I add to the book. Given my background, I can claim a closer experience with mystical cultures and found that many descriptions were not quite accurate (IMHO) and many dimensions were missing. I know that the author can't possibly cover every culture out there and my story is my story to tell.

That said, I was intrigued by how the author brought connections to a variety of fields in the book. Connecting the concept to immortalists is one thing but discussing longing and joy in the context of work was unexpected to me (it does make sense; it's just unexpected).

It's not perfect but it's beautiful and I happily recommend you to read this book.

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Healing

Reviewed in India on May 5, 2023

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I loved this book so much, the way Susan Cain says something and then goes on to back it up with tonnnes of reasearch and evidence, it was like a mix of emotion and logic. Amazing work

Amelie

Ganz tolles Buch mit Tiefgang

Reviewed in Germany on March 1, 2023

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Ich bin selbst überrascht wie ergreifend, wahr und tief dieses Buch geht. Es hat mich sehr berührt und es tut unglaublich gut zu wissen, dass es Menschen wie Susan Cain gibt, die sich die Zeit nehmen ein solch sinnerfülltes Buch zu schreiben.
Durch Oprahs Book Club kam ich auf den Titel und werde auf jeden Fall noch das Buch Quiet lesen. Eine bewundernswerte intelligente Frau!

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Chris Malone

Intensely intimate: a compelling read

Reviewed in the United Kingdom on May 17, 2022

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Bittersweet is an intensely intimate and enlightening exploration of the power of sorrow and longing to make us whole. I defy anyone not to want to read on, having experienced the prelude, the cellist of Sarajevo. Starting from the intense pleasure of music in minor keys, and passion for creation which transcends the brutal destruction of war, the reader is taken by the hand through conversations, ideas and experiences which all enhance understanding and provoke questions.

This book unlocks ideas which have been lurking quietly below the surface. The bittersweet state of mind; poignant, healing, and above all, enlightening

Veronica Strachan

What are you longing for? Possible answers inside

Reviewed in Australia on April 24, 2023

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What are you longing for? In her very relatable and easy to read way, Susan Cain has delivered a bounty of doors to open on grief and longing. Doors through which you can choose to move or not. This is a book I needed to read right now. Funny how that happens. A blend of memoir, counselling, research, joy, sadness, challenge and most of all bittersweetness.
This is not just a book for those introverts amongst us, or those who tear up at poignant moments or feel uplifted by sombre music. This is a thought-provoking read for everyone who grieves for a lost someone or something, everyone who longs for someone or something. And isn't that all of us?

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