sjoerd-siemes

IMDb member since January 2014
    Lifetime Total
    10+
    IMDb Member
    10 years

Reviews

Formula 1: Drive to Survive
(2019)

Fake drama to keep people watching
I don't care how good the production quality of a show is if the story that they are telling is fake. And this indeed is the case for this Netflix documentary.

As you can expect from Netflix who has acces to all the formule 1 footage and a big budget the show has great visuals. Nice interview shots and is edited to keep you watching.

But that is also where the controversy starts. Drive to survive uses dramatic music to make fun between teammates look like rivalry. They misplace radio communications to the wrong situations. Sometimes the radio communication you hear is not even from the same race as the footage. Next to that they also try to create heroes and villains to spice up the dynamics even if it creates a fake image for the drivers who are portrait as the villain.

If you search youtube it doesn't take you long to see drivers actually making fun of this show. And if that doesn't tell you how fake it is. Then i don't know what will.

Argylle
(2024)

Nothing like the trailer
I really feel like the whole promotion for this film was false advertising. Both the trailer and the artwork make this film look like something that its far from.

What i really hoped to get ended after 5 minutes. An over the top spy movie with Henry Cavill. I already figured Dua Lipa would be just a cameo and Cena would also not be there for much of the time. But my shocker was that Cavill is actually not in 80% of the movie while he is everywhere in the promotions.

Don't get me wrong. I knew this wasn't going to be a mission impossible or James Bond movie. I knew the writer had influence on the story. And for the first half of the movie i was okay with it. Nothing spectacular but an okay movie. But the last hour when the writer all of the sudden is the spy who lost her memory they ruined it for me. There where already to many plot twists. But from that point on they needed to ad a love intrest what was totally unnecessary. All of the logic that was there got thrown out of the window. The movie completely lost me. And to ad to that, there are many great actors in this movie. But the two main characters, who again is not Cavill. Are not charismatic or interesting at all to me.

I feel like this could've been a great movie. But somewhere along the way they just threw some ideas at it and decided to go all over the place.

Won't bother watching this one ever again.

Lucifer: Partners 'Til the End
(2021)
Episode 10, Season 6

An ending full of contraductions
Chloe is begging Lucifer to stay the entire time. But then all of the sudden he needs to leave for Rory. Their apparently time traveling daughter which is already a stretch. Who also gets kidnapped out of nowhere? Honestly when she is rescued just turn off the show because that would have been the best way to end this show. Them winning against fate.

But no Lucifer was still abandoning them because Rory didn't go away. That was the theory for the last two episodes. But then when they find out Lucifer doesn't actually have to leave. Or doesn't die. Rory wants him to leave because of some weird reason? And that is exactly why she will grow up without Lucifer and why she travels back because she is mad. But wait, if Lucifers leaves that means Rory doesn't dissapear right? But all of the sudden she does?

Really there is no logic here. This ending is terribly written with plot holes all over. Typical Netflix to end a good show with unnessecary drama.

Lucifer: Bloody Celestial Karaoke Jam
(2021)
Episode 10, Season 5

I hate musicals
Honestly I don't understand why tv shows. And then espescially Netflix always feels the needs to do musical episodes. It was super cringy. Didn't do anything positive for the story. Didn't make any sense whatsoever. It already started with the dramatic piano playing in the beginning. Because these terrible Netflix writers needed to ad more relationship drama like they do with every show they write. And since i'm still not ad the minimal required characters for this review i'll just ad that i feel that Netflix butchered this show and its characters. I was happy they saved it after Fox axed it. But they made characters like Maze and Dan into emotional clowns and added relationship drama to every episode.

The Gray Man
(2022)

One of a dozen
A huge budget, big directors and some of my favorite actors.

Yes i was really looking forward to this movie. Unfortunately it didn't even come close to my expectations.

Its a blend story with little to no depth to it. The movie feels extremely long even though its packed with action scenes. Actually, its almost only action scenes. The story is your typical CIA secret department blabla story. Literally everyone could've written this.

Furthermore there is some annoying camera movement and stereotypical bad clothing choices.

Watch it if you want some action on the background while hanging out with your friends. You won't need to pay attention.

Ozark
(2017)

Worse ending than GOT?
I'm not going to bother with a full review.

The show is kinda slow but does make you wonder what happens next.

But the writing went downhill during the show. Characters also got terrible. Marty is a bigger Simp than Will Smith. And the only good ending was with Wendy dead. Because really, i wanted her dead since the first episode. Wendy Byrd is without a doubt the worst female character in any show ever.

Also really, you had to kill Ruth Langmore in the end. If you go for a all ends well ending. Then atleast let the most loveable character live.

Ohh btw. I was writing this while watching the last 5 minutes. You almost made me believe atleast Wendy and Marty would go to jail. But no you make the kid who hated his mom for the entire time. Kill the cop. Really?? All of the sudden he is a killer. I hate it when shows do this. The whole season the family was a mess. But in the final 30 seconds they have some speeches, apologies. And everything is okay again.

Maybe i should actually give this show a 6.

Jeen-yuhs: A Kanye Trilogy
(2022)

Its more like a big vlog
To keep it brief. I was doubting between a 6 and a 7. So although it was really cool to see all these unseen old videos of Kanye's rise and struggle to get signed. I kept wondering why it took 2 out of 3 episodes to get to the first album release.

And now i know why. I don't feel like this is really the documentary what I expected it to be. Its more Kanye's life through the eyes of Coodie. The guy filming everything. Some parts are not even about Kanye, they are solely about Coodie.

And since Coodie wasn't around much after the college dropouts release, there are huge parts of the story missing. I feel like if you really want to recap Kanye's career you are better off watching a documentary that someone on YouTube made.

So yeah my conclusion is that its fun to watch once if you are intrested in Kanye's raise. But thats it. Don't expect a documentary like "i'll sleep when i'm dead". It really is just 4,5 hours of raw footage and the opinion of Coodie.

No Time to Die
(2021)

Not perfect, but more than fine.
I'll keep it short because i just quickly want to voice my opinion.

Its a fine movie with great action scenes but not the strongest story or villain. I also think they could've given Ana Des Armas more screen time. She was great, but they chose to go woke. More on this later on. I also am sad that they didn't give him a happy ending and the family he could grow old with. If i could've given the movie a 7,5 i would. Its not worth an 8, but better than a 7.

Okay so now the little woke annoyance every body needs to do the last few years.

The new 007 is a young, black, female. Ofcourse it is. Purely to voice the message. Young black woman, can do exactly the same as old white man. And even though this is true. I'm just sick and tired of every tv show and movie forcing this message in. Especially since in the beginning she doesn't have any respect and is super annoying.

Luckily halfway through she starts to show respect and gives the 007 title back. This kinda saved her character. But I truly hope she isn't going to be the next 007 in future movies. Because I won't be watching them then. Henry Cavill is the only sensible choice to me.

So yeahh, go watch the movie. You won't regret it. But it also won't be the best thing you have ever seen.

The Ranch
(2016)

Funny Comedy turned into bad Drama.
The first 2-3 seasons where great. It reminded me of that 70's show on a ranch. Obviously because a lot of the that 70's actors appeared in the show. We had two funny brothers, a grumpy dad. Some fun side characters. But after a while the show turned into a drama. A lot of fighting and screaming every episode. Another emotional apology (bad acted) every episode. And to top it all off the death of Rooster who kinda carried this show together with Colt. I stopped watching after part 6.

13 Reasons Why
(2017)

You keep watching, even though its really bad.
I'm at the end of the fourth season when I write this review. I wanted to finish it as a good reviewer should do, but I cannot hold this in any longer.

First of all it's your typical high school drama with topics like parties, sex, drugs, violence etcetera. Next to that it's your typical Netflix show with a lot of political topics and cringy moments.

Every season at least two characters discover they are all of a sudden gay. Sometimes its believable, sometimes its really dumb, like with Monty. But not as dumb as Monty being killed for being in jail for a few hours.

In contrast to a lot of other reviewers I actually think season 3 and 4 are better than the first 2. I know the first season was the most original, but I felt like most of the choices that were being made where bad. I also didn't really like some of the characters like the lead, Hannah Baker. The second season was just a drag to milk the first season and was the worst of them all.

The third season was probably the best. We got to see a different side of Bryce and I really didn't know who would be the killer until the final episode. Even though the ending was kinda weak.

Season four started strong, but now that I'm almost at the end it goes downhill fast. The plot has a lot of plot holes like how did Clay get out of that pit when they went camping? Why do people follow Clay in a riot when they disliked him the entire season because he acted like a lunatic? And the multiple personalities was a nice touch but also a bit much. Next to that I could have seen this coming from a mile away.

My conclusion is that this show does pull you in. I'm curious about the ending. But during watching I do cringe a lot and pause the series to think about how stupid some things are. I wish Netflix could stop pushing their political agenda in every show they make. And when you want to develop a character, don't immediately go for, "Oh lets make him gay now!" You milked that one enough.

Tag
(2018)

A comedy thats not only about funny moments
I really don't understand the user or critic score on this movie.

SPOILERS AHEAD

For me this movie is amazing. I watched it two times and noticed the second time that they hinted the entire movie that Hogan is dying of cancer. But they did it in a subtle way to not spoil it until the end. Next to that I absolutely loved the cast. They were all great choices, especially Jeremy Renner, Hannibal Buress and Jon Hamm. The only little complaint i have is the character of Isla Fisher who is a bit too much over the top.

In the end this was a hilarious movie with a big shocker and a great life lesson for me.

PS. the soundtrack was amazing and the camerawork could have been that of a good action movie.

Triple Frontier
(2019)

To many dumb decisions
The cast and premisse made me want to watch this movie. It starts of right in to the action. Then they build up and the men are all supposed the best of the best. But when the robbery is done they make one stupid decision after the other. I understand the greed of not wanting to leave a single dollar behind. Although the total amount was too much. But there where many solutions that would have made an happy ending. Also i don't think its believable the druglords "find" them. Because they have no money, boss or any information of where the thiefs are going and what transportation they have.

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