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Reviews
The Shawshank Redemption (1994)
Subtlety, and the Lack Thereof
Shawshank Redemption is a story of, well, Redemption. Just like any film from Quentin Tarantino, but with an extra dose of melodrama. Orchestral music to drive you to tears, overly dramatic dialog, and plot twists that come so far out of left field even M. Night Shylamalan would cringe. You just have a hard time seeing them, because the movie is relatively laid back.
Which is the best part of the film. It slows down whenever it needs to take its time. It's the story of two prisoners who bond over. One is a wrongfully accused man hoping to find a way out. One is a man who has given up all hope. And random acts of kindness help them earn their redemption.
See, it's about Redemption. It's in the title. No use thinking about the theme. Morgan Freeman is perfectly cast in this film, and gives one of the best performances in his life. But every one of his lines is not the line of a prisoner, but somebody who has been paid to pretend to be a prisoner.
The movie lacks any sense of reality, from the poorly supervised chain gang, to the subplot of the sinister warden, and even down to the fact that a man is allowed to keep a tool made for chipping away rocks in his cell.
The film would have worked as a stage play easily. Because we expect this detachment from reality. But this film likes to pretend this is reality. The film also likes to make conclusive statements, and then immediately retract them.
This movie has a heart. It spills out all over the screen while we watch the characters monologue, getting to the point of the movie over and over again. Long movies never bothered me. On the contrary, I think it's a shame four hour movies never get released these days. Still, when it's two and a half hours plus of monologues reiterating the same plot point, it's two and a half hours too much.
Which is the best part of the film. It slows down whenever it needs to take its time. It's the story of two prisoners who bond over. One is a wrongfully accused man hoping to find a way out. One is a man who has given up all hope. And random acts of kindness help them earn their redemption.
See, it's about Redemption. It's in the title. No use thinking about the theme. Morgan Freeman is perfectly cast in this film, and gives one of the best performances in his life. But every one of his lines is not the line of a prisoner, but somebody who has been paid to pretend to be a prisoner.
The movie lacks any sense of reality, from the poorly supervised chain gang, to the subplot of the sinister warden, and even down to the fact that a man is allowed to keep a tool made for chipping away rocks in his cell.
The film would have worked as a stage play easily. Because we expect this detachment from reality. But this film likes to pretend this is reality. The film also likes to make conclusive statements, and then immediately retract them.
This movie has a heart. It spills out all over the screen while we watch the characters monologue, getting to the point of the movie over and over again. Long movies never bothered me. On the contrary, I think it's a shame four hour movies never get released these days. Still, when it's two and a half hours plus of monologues reiterating the same plot point, it's two and a half hours too much.
War of the Worlds (2005)
Spielberg, what have you done?
On September 11th, we all watched as the two towers came tumbling down. We were all affected in some way. Those who are in the creative fields looked at the world and saw something they wanted to capture. Spielberg thought he'd make a poignant look at the American family in the days following the crisis.
So. War of the Worlds. A movie that lacks any sort of subtlety (like most Spielberg films). From the grey ash, to the terror in the streets, to Dakota Fanning shouting "Terrorists!" every five minutes. We are looking at people reacting to something horrific. People under pressure. People doing what they can to make the best out of the situation.
Though since Tom Cruise's character, Jay, is always on the forefront. He's not an average American or the working class guy they make him out to be. He's too in the know. It's easy to see how poor his relationship with his kids is, because they say it. Over and over again. As I mentioned, this movie lacks subtlety. Still, he's one of the witnesses to the attack. After seeing something hit the ground, and a large "Tripod" emerge, he automatically knows everything about it's origin. How does he know everything? How was he able to piece all of it together? An average family in this situation would be in the basement, hiding, and fleeing. Just as confused, trying to make sense of it all. Instead, he's got all the information and he's even fighting Aliens that the entire U.S. Army couldn't scratch.
This is thematically different from any incarnation of War of the Worlds that has been done. I don't mind differences between books, or other films. Thing is, I should still be able to watch this, not knowing anything about it, and be able to say, with no question in my mind "This is War of the Worlds." Instead, I start thinking "Is this War of the Worlds, or Independence Day?"
So. War of the Worlds. A movie that lacks any sort of subtlety (like most Spielberg films). From the grey ash, to the terror in the streets, to Dakota Fanning shouting "Terrorists!" every five minutes. We are looking at people reacting to something horrific. People under pressure. People doing what they can to make the best out of the situation.
Though since Tom Cruise's character, Jay, is always on the forefront. He's not an average American or the working class guy they make him out to be. He's too in the know. It's easy to see how poor his relationship with his kids is, because they say it. Over and over again. As I mentioned, this movie lacks subtlety. Still, he's one of the witnesses to the attack. After seeing something hit the ground, and a large "Tripod" emerge, he automatically knows everything about it's origin. How does he know everything? How was he able to piece all of it together? An average family in this situation would be in the basement, hiding, and fleeing. Just as confused, trying to make sense of it all. Instead, he's got all the information and he's even fighting Aliens that the entire U.S. Army couldn't scratch.
This is thematically different from any incarnation of War of the Worlds that has been done. I don't mind differences between books, or other films. Thing is, I should still be able to watch this, not knowing anything about it, and be able to say, with no question in my mind "This is War of the Worlds." Instead, I start thinking "Is this War of the Worlds, or Independence Day?"
Red Cockroaches (2003)
Boring, Pretentious, yet somewhat interesting Sci Fi film
Every movie has it's good and it's bads, and this is no exception. The scifi aspect of it was pleasantly low key. The director seems to have a knack for cinematography, which by and large was superior. The world it set up was interesting, and there is nothing wrong with the Sci Fi elements.
Except for, to remind us that it is the future, flying cars are digitally added time and time again. Why? Enough of the flying cars. Show a few of them, and that's fine. Not every time somebody is on the street, one just happens to whirl by. It's agitating. Not all of the time did it bother me, but sometimes, when I am trying to pay attention to the characters on screen that that hunk of metal comes across the screen.
The "Personal" story of the film takes over past the scifi aspects, which generally is something I respect in a film. Not this time. The story revolves around a thoroughly unpleasant man's sexual tension and attraction to a mysterious young woman (who is equally unpleasant). Sure, the mystery involved was more important then the fact that these were characters I couldn't care about. I probably wasn't supposed to like them, thus the attraction to the mystery.
And isn't everyone tired of the cliché "Man sees Mysterious girl who changes his life" thing anyway? I mean, seriously. Too many indy film clichés in this. Including the fact that if the characters aren't swearing at each other, they are trying to say something somewhat intellectual. People don't talk like that in real life.
Mysteries remain unsolved by the end, probably because this was planned as the first part in a trilogy. Which is fine. However, nothing conclusive ended this film. There was no catharsis, and all we got was a card that said "Red Cockroaches" to let us know the film was over.
With all my criticisms of the movie, I am looking forward to viewing the next two films. Perhaps the Director might have improved on his craft, because that's all it really needs. It had a lot going for it, but unfortunately became just another prententious indy film.
Except for, to remind us that it is the future, flying cars are digitally added time and time again. Why? Enough of the flying cars. Show a few of them, and that's fine. Not every time somebody is on the street, one just happens to whirl by. It's agitating. Not all of the time did it bother me, but sometimes, when I am trying to pay attention to the characters on screen that that hunk of metal comes across the screen.
The "Personal" story of the film takes over past the scifi aspects, which generally is something I respect in a film. Not this time. The story revolves around a thoroughly unpleasant man's sexual tension and attraction to a mysterious young woman (who is equally unpleasant). Sure, the mystery involved was more important then the fact that these were characters I couldn't care about. I probably wasn't supposed to like them, thus the attraction to the mystery.
And isn't everyone tired of the cliché "Man sees Mysterious girl who changes his life" thing anyway? I mean, seriously. Too many indy film clichés in this. Including the fact that if the characters aren't swearing at each other, they are trying to say something somewhat intellectual. People don't talk like that in real life.
Mysteries remain unsolved by the end, probably because this was planned as the first part in a trilogy. Which is fine. However, nothing conclusive ended this film. There was no catharsis, and all we got was a card that said "Red Cockroaches" to let us know the film was over.
With all my criticisms of the movie, I am looking forward to viewing the next two films. Perhaps the Director might have improved on his craft, because that's all it really needs. It had a lot going for it, but unfortunately became just another prententious indy film.
The Craving Heart (2006)
Independent Filmmakers Rejoice! The Bar is Lowered!
As an Independent filmmaker, I think it's only right to promote other independent filmmakers. I hope that with this review, as negative as it, people will seek out this film. Help the producers make money, and finance another film.
But it's a horrible movie. First of all, it has a plot that cannot be explained without giving away some major plot spoilers. It's about a man, Alex Tom, who is well educated, has a beautiful wife (who is a District Attorney prosecuting a child molestor), and has John Saxon as a father. Seems like an ideal life, right? Alex recently saw his best friend die. He also has a recurring dream about a woman he met the day his friend dies. Okay, so we are getting somewhere. The rest of the story is explained through Pseudo philosophical monologues spoken by characters in the movie, that contradict themselves so much that the overall philosophy of the movie is almost lost.
Nobody talks like the people do in the movie. Perhaps the worst of it is John Saxon recalling his experience in Vietnam. Great moment for a soso actor. Really well done. Except there is almost nothing that brought up the war. It's like the director thought "Hmm... A Vietnam Monologue might be dramatic." Now, maybe it was just setting up the fact that he went to Vietnam. Made sense, seeing that it is important in a seen later. However, his service would have been best explained through context clues when he explains why he never shows off his metals.
In another independent film Cliché, Self mutilation is brought into the tragic story of Alex Tom and his mystery woman. Quite Gratuitiously, I might add. Here's my thing: We know she's cutting herself. We don't need 5 minutes dedicated to it where nothing changes. At this point, I started wondering if she was watching the same movie we were.
Ultimately, it was poorly shot, poorly edited, and poorly written. And, with a few exceptions, poorly acted. I don't have anything nice to say about the movie period. And I hop to god the film is a success, i want to see all independent films succeed. However, this is the type of film that Independent films are stereotyped as being. It's simply 80 minutes too long.
But it's a horrible movie. First of all, it has a plot that cannot be explained without giving away some major plot spoilers. It's about a man, Alex Tom, who is well educated, has a beautiful wife (who is a District Attorney prosecuting a child molestor), and has John Saxon as a father. Seems like an ideal life, right? Alex recently saw his best friend die. He also has a recurring dream about a woman he met the day his friend dies. Okay, so we are getting somewhere. The rest of the story is explained through Pseudo philosophical monologues spoken by characters in the movie, that contradict themselves so much that the overall philosophy of the movie is almost lost.
Nobody talks like the people do in the movie. Perhaps the worst of it is John Saxon recalling his experience in Vietnam. Great moment for a soso actor. Really well done. Except there is almost nothing that brought up the war. It's like the director thought "Hmm... A Vietnam Monologue might be dramatic." Now, maybe it was just setting up the fact that he went to Vietnam. Made sense, seeing that it is important in a seen later. However, his service would have been best explained through context clues when he explains why he never shows off his metals.
In another independent film Cliché, Self mutilation is brought into the tragic story of Alex Tom and his mystery woman. Quite Gratuitiously, I might add. Here's my thing: We know she's cutting herself. We don't need 5 minutes dedicated to it where nothing changes. At this point, I started wondering if she was watching the same movie we were.
Ultimately, it was poorly shot, poorly edited, and poorly written. And, with a few exceptions, poorly acted. I don't have anything nice to say about the movie period. And I hop to god the film is a success, i want to see all independent films succeed. However, this is the type of film that Independent films are stereotyped as being. It's simply 80 minutes too long.
Snakes on a Plane (2006)
Snakes on a Plane Delivers just what it promised. Snakes. On a Plane.
Some movies promise to be the feel good movie of the summer. Some promise to be one of the most shocking thrillers ever. Usually, movies promise more then they can give you. This movie, however, promised only one thing: Snakes. On a plane.
And for this reason alone, it may be the perfect film. It does not let you down. There is a plane, and there are indeed snakes on it. Lots of snakes. It's up to Samuel L. Jackson and a few outstanding crew members to save the innocent passengers.
But first, why are the snakes on a plane? Well, how else can a mafia boss kill a witness set to testify against him? Especially when he is being protected by Samuel Jackson. You have to do something bold, something creative, and something unexpected: put a crate full of venomous snakes from all corners of the Earth on an airplane. Not only that, make them crazy enough to attack everything that movies. Or looks like wires.
Yes, before killing passengers, the snakes manage to sabotage the plane, and watch people having sex in the bathroom. These two young people are doomed from the minute we see them. They are interested in making out and having sex. Which means they are perfect victims.
Of course, it's a movie that has the perfect Airline Disaster film cast. The Celebrity. The Rich Asshole. The two kids on their first solo plane flight. The Flight Attendant who is on her last voyage. While the title was what drove the phenomena that is "Snakes on a Plane" it could have just as easily had the title "Airport '06: Snakes on a Plane".
The snakes terrorize. The people scream. Sam Jackson takes charge. People fall in love, and people die, and we get to sit an watch it all, laughing and cheering with a movie that is downright awful. This movie leaves no cliché unused, no one liner unspoken. The film revels in it's badness, but stays one step from ever being gratuitous. You see, it's intentionally bad but it stays serious just enough for it to pass as an action film and not a comedy.
Still, if this movie doesn't make you laugh long and hard, then you should probably check yourself into a hospital. This is the movie we were waiting for, folks. The god awful, action packed, hilarious glorified B Film. This is Snakes on a Plane.
***/****
And for this reason alone, it may be the perfect film. It does not let you down. There is a plane, and there are indeed snakes on it. Lots of snakes. It's up to Samuel L. Jackson and a few outstanding crew members to save the innocent passengers.
But first, why are the snakes on a plane? Well, how else can a mafia boss kill a witness set to testify against him? Especially when he is being protected by Samuel Jackson. You have to do something bold, something creative, and something unexpected: put a crate full of venomous snakes from all corners of the Earth on an airplane. Not only that, make them crazy enough to attack everything that movies. Or looks like wires.
Yes, before killing passengers, the snakes manage to sabotage the plane, and watch people having sex in the bathroom. These two young people are doomed from the minute we see them. They are interested in making out and having sex. Which means they are perfect victims.
Of course, it's a movie that has the perfect Airline Disaster film cast. The Celebrity. The Rich Asshole. The two kids on their first solo plane flight. The Flight Attendant who is on her last voyage. While the title was what drove the phenomena that is "Snakes on a Plane" it could have just as easily had the title "Airport '06: Snakes on a Plane".
The snakes terrorize. The people scream. Sam Jackson takes charge. People fall in love, and people die, and we get to sit an watch it all, laughing and cheering with a movie that is downright awful. This movie leaves no cliché unused, no one liner unspoken. The film revels in it's badness, but stays one step from ever being gratuitous. You see, it's intentionally bad but it stays serious just enough for it to pass as an action film and not a comedy.
Still, if this movie doesn't make you laugh long and hard, then you should probably check yourself into a hospital. This is the movie we were waiting for, folks. The god awful, action packed, hilarious glorified B Film. This is Snakes on a Plane.
***/****
Crash (2004)
Good Intentions Do Not Make a Good Movie
I didn't see Crash until a few months after the Academy Awards. My top films of the year were not nominated, but that's okay. After all, it's only a popularity contest. Still, I like to see the films nominated, and the films that win.
Crash is a movie with a very good heart, very good concept, but has many moments that talk down to the audience, thinking that we are, well, stupid. Pieces of information are explained to us repeatedly, to make sure that we know. Why? Because they think that we didn't catch on the first, or the second, or the third time.
It's a thoughtful film about racism that examines it from every angle, with no good guys or bad guys. Because in reality, there are no good guys and bad guys. Just the good and bad we do. People told me thanks to this moral, I'd like the film. However, I'm an intelligent person and do not like being talked down to.
To enjoy crash you must do one thing that is very, very difficult: suspend your disbelief in a movie that tries to base itself in realism. I can't believe the impossible unless I am given reason to. Maybe in the world set up in "Harry Potter" I can believe some of the extreme coincidences might actually occur. Unfortunately, this is supposed to be the real world.
I wish I could warn you all a lot better then I am doing. Unfortunately, I do not want to ruin the movie. Sure, it would be for the best, but I try to be a competent reviewer. Perhaps I should try to review more competent films.
Crash is a movie with a very good heart, very good concept, but has many moments that talk down to the audience, thinking that we are, well, stupid. Pieces of information are explained to us repeatedly, to make sure that we know. Why? Because they think that we didn't catch on the first, or the second, or the third time.
It's a thoughtful film about racism that examines it from every angle, with no good guys or bad guys. Because in reality, there are no good guys and bad guys. Just the good and bad we do. People told me thanks to this moral, I'd like the film. However, I'm an intelligent person and do not like being talked down to.
To enjoy crash you must do one thing that is very, very difficult: suspend your disbelief in a movie that tries to base itself in realism. I can't believe the impossible unless I am given reason to. Maybe in the world set up in "Harry Potter" I can believe some of the extreme coincidences might actually occur. Unfortunately, this is supposed to be the real world.
I wish I could warn you all a lot better then I am doing. Unfortunately, I do not want to ruin the movie. Sure, it would be for the best, but I try to be a competent reviewer. Perhaps I should try to review more competent films.
Superman Returns (2006)
Superman Returns to get rid of that bitter taste that X Men 3 gave us.
Superman Returns starts with an opening title sequence that is made to annoy anyone who isn't watching the movie in IMAX 3D. This is not a 3D movie, except in certain theaters when available. The problem is, it looks like a 3D movie everywhere.
The other problem is, I thought one of the largest franchises in the world would be above bullet time. Or, at least, Faster then a speeding bullet time. Still, Routh performs a great Clark Kent, but plays Superman more or less as a pretty boy and not a triumphant hero, lacking the charm of Reeve's original performance. While Gene Hackmen may have played a great evil Genius and went over the top, Kevin Spacey took a psychotic character who was over the top and tried to bring him down a notch. And he literally stole the show.
I really don't understand why the people at the Daily Planet are so stupid. Not only does Clark go on leave for five years and Superman Returns the same day, Superman spends a week in the hospital for part of the movie, and by default Clark doesn't show up for work, without calling in or anything.
James Marsden probably will never be given enough credit for his performance as Richard White. His character was perhaps my favorite in the movie. He plays Lois Lane's long time fiancé (for five years) and the father of her kid. He is also very nervous of her past relationship with Superman. Now, we all know about the past relationships with Superman, and if the series continues, there will be more relationships with Superman. The writers could have taken the easy way out and made him a jerk, made him stupid, or all sorts of things.
In the end, though he obviously lacks the powers, he's as Heroic as Superman in many ways. Lois shows nothing but love for him, and confusion when Superman arrives. She really doesn't want anything to change. Yet Marsden is very aware that she may slip away, but that does not stop him from trying to help her or Superman by the end.
And now, the kid. Lois Lane has a kid who she doesn't seem to mind tagging along while they break into a houseboat. You know, that's pretty much child neglect if you ask me. Well, you can predict a lot of this story line, but the movie in general toys with it's predictability, and has a bit of fun with the audience.
Keeping with the tone of the Donner/Lester films, this movie has some really dark moments, some massive destructions, but a really strong sense of humor. Unlike the earlier films, it never comes off as disjointed.
Again, we have to find ways for human characters to create a challenge worthy of Superman. The Challenge presented does suffice, and while we know Superman is going to win in the end, we see that he is getting hurt pretty badly. Even as Zod had him "kneeling before him" I never once thought the character was in any danger. Hell, he's Superman. As the name implies, he can do just about anything.
Like X2: X-Men United this is a long movie. However, it just doesn't feel that way because Singer paced the movie very well. Compare to other Superhero fare, like X-3 which felt as short as it was. Singer knows how to pace movies, and manage to balance several story arcs at once.
All in all, it's a pretty good movie. It has it's good, it has it's bad, but I think the good outweighs the bad. If you liked X Men 3, this movie is not for you. It has the wit and intelligence that X Men 3 lacked. It had adventure, character development, and just the right touch of humor.
***/****
The other problem is, I thought one of the largest franchises in the world would be above bullet time. Or, at least, Faster then a speeding bullet time. Still, Routh performs a great Clark Kent, but plays Superman more or less as a pretty boy and not a triumphant hero, lacking the charm of Reeve's original performance. While Gene Hackmen may have played a great evil Genius and went over the top, Kevin Spacey took a psychotic character who was over the top and tried to bring him down a notch. And he literally stole the show.
I really don't understand why the people at the Daily Planet are so stupid. Not only does Clark go on leave for five years and Superman Returns the same day, Superman spends a week in the hospital for part of the movie, and by default Clark doesn't show up for work, without calling in or anything.
James Marsden probably will never be given enough credit for his performance as Richard White. His character was perhaps my favorite in the movie. He plays Lois Lane's long time fiancé (for five years) and the father of her kid. He is also very nervous of her past relationship with Superman. Now, we all know about the past relationships with Superman, and if the series continues, there will be more relationships with Superman. The writers could have taken the easy way out and made him a jerk, made him stupid, or all sorts of things.
In the end, though he obviously lacks the powers, he's as Heroic as Superman in many ways. Lois shows nothing but love for him, and confusion when Superman arrives. She really doesn't want anything to change. Yet Marsden is very aware that she may slip away, but that does not stop him from trying to help her or Superman by the end.
And now, the kid. Lois Lane has a kid who she doesn't seem to mind tagging along while they break into a houseboat. You know, that's pretty much child neglect if you ask me. Well, you can predict a lot of this story line, but the movie in general toys with it's predictability, and has a bit of fun with the audience.
Keeping with the tone of the Donner/Lester films, this movie has some really dark moments, some massive destructions, but a really strong sense of humor. Unlike the earlier films, it never comes off as disjointed.
Again, we have to find ways for human characters to create a challenge worthy of Superman. The Challenge presented does suffice, and while we know Superman is going to win in the end, we see that he is getting hurt pretty badly. Even as Zod had him "kneeling before him" I never once thought the character was in any danger. Hell, he's Superman. As the name implies, he can do just about anything.
Like X2: X-Men United this is a long movie. However, it just doesn't feel that way because Singer paced the movie very well. Compare to other Superhero fare, like X-3 which felt as short as it was. Singer knows how to pace movies, and manage to balance several story arcs at once.
All in all, it's a pretty good movie. It has it's good, it has it's bad, but I think the good outweighs the bad. If you liked X Men 3, this movie is not for you. It has the wit and intelligence that X Men 3 lacked. It had adventure, character development, and just the right touch of humor.
***/****
X-Men: The Last Stand (2006)
Bad... Just Bad....
When you have low expectations, sometimes you are surprised by how well a movie turns out. Or, sometimes, your low expectations keep you from seeing how good a movie is because you are predetermined to hate it.
Or sometimes, a movie just sucks.
X Men the Last Stand starts out with two flashbacks: One to Jean Grey's childhood, the other to Angel's childhood. Both of these are good scenes. But, with Angel taking up much of the pre-credit sequence, you would probably expect more of his character. But, like most characters, he is introduced, then forgotten, so we can make way for a crappy love story between Wolverine and Jean.
Wolverine's lines, of course, are things Scott should be saying. And with a script like this, you can easily switch the two and with the dialog, nobody would notice that they ever belonged to Wolverine in the first place. Because, you see, the script is nothing but a punch of bad punchlines, explanations, that are perfectly interchangeable per character.
The Phoenix is well introduced, without having to go into detailed origins from the comics. It's probably done the best way it can be done for the movie. The problem is, Jean never maintains a "fiery form." Actually, let's just forget the ending of X-2 anyway, because it seems it was a completely different resurrection altogether. But then, if we start looking back to X-2, it opens up the door to so many mistakes.
While I just want to figure out "How does the X-Jet go invisible?" Or, even better "Why did the X Jet go invisible when the Brotherhood new they were there, and did nothing but land anyway." That hurt. That really did. But not as much as the line "Get your plastic guns." Did the writers not think that the audience would catch on that the guns that look like plastic, and are made to fight Magneto, plastic? I have a bit more intelligence then that. And a bit more the screenwriters.
The scene moved from scene to scene with a need to be an action movie above all else, leading to predictable plot twists and really bad cliché action movie lines.By the end of the movie, I just didn't care any more. If I had to some up the movie in one word: Pathetic.
The worst end of a trilogy I've seen since Star Wars: Episode 3.
Or sometimes, a movie just sucks.
X Men the Last Stand starts out with two flashbacks: One to Jean Grey's childhood, the other to Angel's childhood. Both of these are good scenes. But, with Angel taking up much of the pre-credit sequence, you would probably expect more of his character. But, like most characters, he is introduced, then forgotten, so we can make way for a crappy love story between Wolverine and Jean.
Wolverine's lines, of course, are things Scott should be saying. And with a script like this, you can easily switch the two and with the dialog, nobody would notice that they ever belonged to Wolverine in the first place. Because, you see, the script is nothing but a punch of bad punchlines, explanations, that are perfectly interchangeable per character.
The Phoenix is well introduced, without having to go into detailed origins from the comics. It's probably done the best way it can be done for the movie. The problem is, Jean never maintains a "fiery form." Actually, let's just forget the ending of X-2 anyway, because it seems it was a completely different resurrection altogether. But then, if we start looking back to X-2, it opens up the door to so many mistakes.
While I just want to figure out "How does the X-Jet go invisible?" Or, even better "Why did the X Jet go invisible when the Brotherhood new they were there, and did nothing but land anyway." That hurt. That really did. But not as much as the line "Get your plastic guns." Did the writers not think that the audience would catch on that the guns that look like plastic, and are made to fight Magneto, plastic? I have a bit more intelligence then that. And a bit more the screenwriters.
The scene moved from scene to scene with a need to be an action movie above all else, leading to predictable plot twists and really bad cliché action movie lines.By the end of the movie, I just didn't care any more. If I had to some up the movie in one word: Pathetic.
The worst end of a trilogy I've seen since Star Wars: Episode 3.
Slither (2006)
An homage to everything
James Gunn wrote Slither as an homage to the horror movies he loved. Every single one of them. From the Deadly Swarm, to The Fly, to the Toxic Avenger, to Basket Case, to some films most people wouldn't know much about.
The film is about a loving husband (though noticeably not the best. His love for his wife is one of his better sides) who is stung by an alien insect. He starts mutating into a squid beast while slug like monsters Terrorize a small town where cell phones don't exist.
It's obvious from the previews that this is a bit of a comedy. You'll be surprised at just how suspenseful it really is. The horror ranges from cheap pop-outs, hilarious gore, and heart pounding action in a genre bending film that is like Tremors for adults.
The movie is well acted, and all the actors have such great chemistry together. While the movie isn't an excellent film, those looking for a good time have nothing to complain about. It keeps the audiences entertained like few other movies can.
The film is about a loving husband (though noticeably not the best. His love for his wife is one of his better sides) who is stung by an alien insect. He starts mutating into a squid beast while slug like monsters Terrorize a small town where cell phones don't exist.
It's obvious from the previews that this is a bit of a comedy. You'll be surprised at just how suspenseful it really is. The horror ranges from cheap pop-outs, hilarious gore, and heart pounding action in a genre bending film that is like Tremors for adults.
The movie is well acted, and all the actors have such great chemistry together. While the movie isn't an excellent film, those looking for a good time have nothing to complain about. It keeps the audiences entertained like few other movies can.
Hotel Torgo (2004)
The Manos Curse is born
I'm not going to lie about who I am and how I saw this movie. There are plenty of people here on the IMDb who just can't wait to see this film. I'm a film student who got into contact with Bernie Rosenblum, who sent me a copy of this film. Jackey Neyman-Jones, who played Debbie in Manos the Hands of Fate, asked me to burn the DVD and send it to her. I rather have that approved by the people who made this movie. Unfortunately, they think she is dead.
This is, as everyone who is reading this knows, a documentary about the making of Manos the Hands of Fate. And it's one market is to fans of Manos. And I will give my guarantee that they will not be disappointed. The documentary is thoroughly enjoyable. This is mostly because of Bernie Rosenblum, who talks about his experiences with such passion and wit. Joining him in the commentary is the man who owned the ranch, Colbert Coldwell himself.
Colbert is one of the old men you see rambling on the bus, and you listen to his stories and laugh, but don't want him to know you are paying attention. Then there is "Manos Historian" Richard Brandt, who wrote the two great articles on the film where most of the lore come from.
I said the movie was not disappointing, but only because it is worth watching. It's a very enjoyable film. But even with Richard Brandt, Colbert Coldwell, and Bernie Rosenblum, it seems like they simply could not get all the facts right.
Everyone has either died or mysteriously disappeared? No, this is an overstatement of Fact. Robin Redd, John Reynolds, and Tom Neyman are dead. The rest are people who are known as "Private Citizens." Just because you can't contact them mean it's some sort of freak occurrence. These are people who were in one movie, which by a stroke of luck still exists. Well, it's lucky the film existed in the first place.
The movie does not give any new juicy bits of Trivia, nor does it cover all of Manos Lore. Even still, it's worth watching.
This is, as everyone who is reading this knows, a documentary about the making of Manos the Hands of Fate. And it's one market is to fans of Manos. And I will give my guarantee that they will not be disappointed. The documentary is thoroughly enjoyable. This is mostly because of Bernie Rosenblum, who talks about his experiences with such passion and wit. Joining him in the commentary is the man who owned the ranch, Colbert Coldwell himself.
Colbert is one of the old men you see rambling on the bus, and you listen to his stories and laugh, but don't want him to know you are paying attention. Then there is "Manos Historian" Richard Brandt, who wrote the two great articles on the film where most of the lore come from.
I said the movie was not disappointing, but only because it is worth watching. It's a very enjoyable film. But even with Richard Brandt, Colbert Coldwell, and Bernie Rosenblum, it seems like they simply could not get all the facts right.
Everyone has either died or mysteriously disappeared? No, this is an overstatement of Fact. Robin Redd, John Reynolds, and Tom Neyman are dead. The rest are people who are known as "Private Citizens." Just because you can't contact them mean it's some sort of freak occurrence. These are people who were in one movie, which by a stroke of luck still exists. Well, it's lucky the film existed in the first place.
The movie does not give any new juicy bits of Trivia, nor does it cover all of Manos Lore. Even still, it's worth watching.
Generation X (1996)
A Nightmare from my childhood
I remember, several times, asking if other people had seen this movie. Thankfull, nobody said they had. It's like it was just a bad dream that a few people in my family had. Where they took the premise for the X Men comics, half the ideas and scenes from the cartoon, and used the characters from the X Men Spin off and made Generation X into a made for TV movie.
The plot involved a powerful machine that let you have power over dreams, but had an addictive quality. And there was an evil man played by a normally good actor who ruined his performance by thinking he's Jim Carrey. And even though it was only two hours long, it seemed like I was in purgatory.
I saw Skin and Jubilee given the major parts, while Banshee flirted moronically with Emma Frost. But non of the dialog seemed to go together, and existed only for the sake of showing "This is what the people in Generation X" say. It didn't have to be.
And for years, I waited patiently for the announced spin off series. Perhaps they could atone for the sins of the pilot film. Alas, it never happened, and I believed it to be just a horrible dream I wish it was. I wish this movie never existed. I wish it was nothing more then a bad memory. But it's a bad movie that lives on in the form of VHS.
0/****
The plot involved a powerful machine that let you have power over dreams, but had an addictive quality. And there was an evil man played by a normally good actor who ruined his performance by thinking he's Jim Carrey. And even though it was only two hours long, it seemed like I was in purgatory.
I saw Skin and Jubilee given the major parts, while Banshee flirted moronically with Emma Frost. But non of the dialog seemed to go together, and existed only for the sake of showing "This is what the people in Generation X" say. It didn't have to be.
And for years, I waited patiently for the announced spin off series. Perhaps they could atone for the sins of the pilot film. Alas, it never happened, and I believed it to be just a horrible dream I wish it was. I wish this movie never existed. I wish it was nothing more then a bad memory. But it's a bad movie that lives on in the form of VHS.
0/****
Nick Fury: Agent of Shield (1998)
Marvel's Super Spy in the cheesiest adventure of his life!
Before anyone complains about me voting this five out of ten, let me explain where I am coming from. There are many people out there, like me, who watch bad movies to enjoy them. This is one of the greatest bad movies I have seen in recent years.
To the unfamiliar, the enemies Hydra seem like self styled "Commie Nazis." When in fact they are, well, self styled commie Nazis. And those who don't know Marvel should easily be able to figure out that Nick Fury is a secret agent in a secret government organization, that is located in a flying base that is made up of sets from the cult classic TV show Sliders. Every set in here looks stolen from Fox's Sliders, and most of them probably were.
Of course, cheesy sets go with bad camera work. Bad Camera work goes well with bad special effects. Bad special effects go with bad acting. And bad acting is perfect with lines like "Colombian Tree Frog. The most deadly venom on Earth" or "That's the problem with the Third Reich. No sense of humor." Yes. No sense of humor. Our hatred for Nazis has nothing to do with the attempted Genocide of the Jews. This movie was, of course, made for Fox. And was a lot better, surprisingly, then fox's other made for TV superhero crap fest, Generation X. That isn't even a good bad movie. It was just painful.
The pain that is Nick Fury, of course, you get used to. Or you can self medicate with a bottle of Jack Daniels, and have yourself one hell of night.
To the unfamiliar, the enemies Hydra seem like self styled "Commie Nazis." When in fact they are, well, self styled commie Nazis. And those who don't know Marvel should easily be able to figure out that Nick Fury is a secret agent in a secret government organization, that is located in a flying base that is made up of sets from the cult classic TV show Sliders. Every set in here looks stolen from Fox's Sliders, and most of them probably were.
Of course, cheesy sets go with bad camera work. Bad Camera work goes well with bad special effects. Bad special effects go with bad acting. And bad acting is perfect with lines like "Colombian Tree Frog. The most deadly venom on Earth" or "That's the problem with the Third Reich. No sense of humor." Yes. No sense of humor. Our hatred for Nazis has nothing to do with the attempted Genocide of the Jews. This movie was, of course, made for Fox. And was a lot better, surprisingly, then fox's other made for TV superhero crap fest, Generation X. That isn't even a good bad movie. It was just painful.
The pain that is Nick Fury, of course, you get used to. Or you can self medicate with a bottle of Jack Daniels, and have yourself one hell of night.
Fainaru fantajî sebun adobento chirudoren (2005)
Eye candy, and nothing more
This is a movie that seems to made for a particular group of people: People who have an orgasm any time they see Cloud Strife do something. The story is simple. Of course, when i say simple, I mean, nonexistent. It's like this: Virus bad, curing it good. And then a little bit of Sepiroth Bad, Cloud good.
It really is a brainless film. Just a bunch of graphics, no story, and the only character from Final Fantasy VII they seem to care about is Cloud. But they need to throw in everybody to make it a Final Fantasy VII movie, so they all appear in one big battle to pretty much assist Cloud and sit tight while the rest of the movie plays on. It's like, if the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles film focused on Leonardo, with the other three watching him fight the whole time.
Not only are the actions scenes long, they are quite boring as well. I don't mind a long action scene if it is entertaining. But this wasn't entertaining. They dragged on forever without a good payoff in the end. Especially the Cloud/Sepiroth Battle. It's like, let's have this long battle sequence that finishes with a simple move that could have been done earlier anyway.
The film was beautiful looking, I have to admit. It's one of the best pieces of computer animation I have seen. Unfortunately, the look of the film cannot make up for the lack of story and the abandonment of just about every favorite Final Fantasy VII character.
It really is a brainless film. Just a bunch of graphics, no story, and the only character from Final Fantasy VII they seem to care about is Cloud. But they need to throw in everybody to make it a Final Fantasy VII movie, so they all appear in one big battle to pretty much assist Cloud and sit tight while the rest of the movie plays on. It's like, if the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles film focused on Leonardo, with the other three watching him fight the whole time.
Not only are the actions scenes long, they are quite boring as well. I don't mind a long action scene if it is entertaining. But this wasn't entertaining. They dragged on forever without a good payoff in the end. Especially the Cloud/Sepiroth Battle. It's like, let's have this long battle sequence that finishes with a simple move that could have been done earlier anyway.
The film was beautiful looking, I have to admit. It's one of the best pieces of computer animation I have seen. Unfortunately, the look of the film cannot make up for the lack of story and the abandonment of just about every favorite Final Fantasy VII character.
Manos: The Hands of Fate (1966)
Friends don't let friends watch Manos
I think that every aspiring filmmaker needs to give Hal Warren a big round of applause: He lowered the bar for independent filmmakers. On a more serious, much more appreciative note, Manos the Hands of Fate deserves respect not for the film, but for the fact that this was a movie made on a whim that managed to get made, despite many setbacks. Even more surprising then it getting made, is that it got picked up by a company and was distributed to major theaters.
And nowadays, the film has a large fan base. Well, I would hesitate to say it is a "Fanbase" seeing that many of us are dedicated to hating this movie. It is a God awful film. Though I would have to say that if it was a better film, the ending would have been seen by many as edgy (though only a year or so ahead of its time). Though it really didn't matter how it ended, because most people couldn't get through the beginning.
I warned people that this movie is not for the weak. They must have thought I meant weak stomachs because they laughed it off. I have had so many people come up to me and tell me just how much they despised the movie. I guess they thought ten minutes of dialog-free driving was an exaggeration. The script was written within one week, but it's not like it's a complicated story. Family takes a wrong turn, ends up in a lodge run by a cult. It's about them trying to escape their clutches. Bad dubbing. Bad camera work. Good acting destroyed by bad dubbing. This just is a bad movie that seems to drag on forever.
And I am proud to own this film. Seriously. Some movies are so bad they are good. Some are just so bad they are, well, bad. This one is the latter. So unbelievably bad that one can call themselves a fan but refuse to watch it time after time, because they know the horror that is Manos: the Hands of Fate.
And nowadays, the film has a large fan base. Well, I would hesitate to say it is a "Fanbase" seeing that many of us are dedicated to hating this movie. It is a God awful film. Though I would have to say that if it was a better film, the ending would have been seen by many as edgy (though only a year or so ahead of its time). Though it really didn't matter how it ended, because most people couldn't get through the beginning.
I warned people that this movie is not for the weak. They must have thought I meant weak stomachs because they laughed it off. I have had so many people come up to me and tell me just how much they despised the movie. I guess they thought ten minutes of dialog-free driving was an exaggeration. The script was written within one week, but it's not like it's a complicated story. Family takes a wrong turn, ends up in a lodge run by a cult. It's about them trying to escape their clutches. Bad dubbing. Bad camera work. Good acting destroyed by bad dubbing. This just is a bad movie that seems to drag on forever.
And I am proud to own this film. Seriously. Some movies are so bad they are good. Some are just so bad they are, well, bad. This one is the latter. So unbelievably bad that one can call themselves a fan but refuse to watch it time after time, because they know the horror that is Manos: the Hands of Fate.
Batman Returns (1992)
Batman, without the love
I don't mind superhero films moving away from the comics. So don't take my love of Batman Begins and my distaste for this movie as just the typical obnoxious fanboy ranting. The 1989 Batman was a magnificent film. Unfortunately, Tim Burton couldn't make lightning strike twice.
I like movies that are Character driven. Unfortunately, this movie is not driven by characters, it is driven by character traits. Catwoman is sexy and Penguin is disgusting. Really nothing more to go on, other then more nifty ways to make toys.
Just thinking out loud here, but, are we supposed to like Catwoman? I mean, she's obviously not a total villain, she fights for what she thinks is right. Okay. But she's still not the least bit likable. Hell, the penguin is more likable then her and were not supposed to be able to stand the site of him.
A little quirkiness like Catwoman being flown around on a helicopter umbrella is definitely not 1. Funny 2. Suspenseful 3. Enjoyable 4. Quirky... Basically, what were we supposed to be thinking and feeling during this movie? SOme of these scenes only work to try to add a little weirdness to the film, but ultimately fail miserably. Because this movie is not driven by its story, action, or characters.
I like movies that are Character driven. Unfortunately, this movie is not driven by characters, it is driven by character traits. Catwoman is sexy and Penguin is disgusting. Really nothing more to go on, other then more nifty ways to make toys.
Just thinking out loud here, but, are we supposed to like Catwoman? I mean, she's obviously not a total villain, she fights for what she thinks is right. Okay. But she's still not the least bit likable. Hell, the penguin is more likable then her and were not supposed to be able to stand the site of him.
A little quirkiness like Catwoman being flown around on a helicopter umbrella is definitely not 1. Funny 2. Suspenseful 3. Enjoyable 4. Quirky... Basically, what were we supposed to be thinking and feeling during this movie? SOme of these scenes only work to try to add a little weirdness to the film, but ultimately fail miserably. Because this movie is not driven by its story, action, or characters.
The Blair Witch Project (1999)
One and a million shot, people!
I would like to start out by saying that I did like this movie. It got me involved. Well, more like, it really sucked me into the film. This is what I want from a horror movie. Good story telling. Thick Atmosphere. And, of course, the fact that it seemed like anything could happen at any moment.
I'm tired of these popcorn films, where you chow down and watch a show. I wanted a real movie going experience, and I got it with Blair Witch Project.
But nothing like this can ever be made again, and the fact that this movie turned out well is also something that really was a miacle. Put people in the middle of the woods, with cameras, and little notes that were scripts, and hoping they could act well enough to keep us involved. It was really the three actors who should be appreciated, not the writers or the director. This was all thanks to those young people who had almost no direction and simply got so involved that they pulled a great movie out of the experience. Some notes, limited contact, it really is a miracle of a film.
I'm tired of these popcorn films, where you chow down and watch a show. I wanted a real movie going experience, and I got it with Blair Witch Project.
But nothing like this can ever be made again, and the fact that this movie turned out well is also something that really was a miacle. Put people in the middle of the woods, with cameras, and little notes that were scripts, and hoping they could act well enough to keep us involved. It was really the three actors who should be appreciated, not the writers or the director. This was all thanks to those young people who had almost no direction and simply got so involved that they pulled a great movie out of the experience. Some notes, limited contact, it really is a miracle of a film.
The Exorcist (1973)
Vomitting and Masturbation, the perfect way to frighten people!
I went to this movie, hoping to see what I have been told was one of the scariest movies ever made. The only thing scary about this film is it's success. A demon possessing a young girl-Scary. A young girl who is possessed shaking, vomiting, and masturbating-not scary, simply a cheap attempt to gross out viewers.
When I watch a horror film, I want to be frightened. I'm not into cheap gross out attempts. To be honest, this movie succeeded in drawing me in with it's really tense atmosphere. But then the gross outs started and it made me snap right out of the movie, and right back into my seat, where I was wondering what was so frightening about this film.
If I wanted to see a bunch of uninteresting grossouts, I would have rented a slasher film. But I didn't. I went to the theater to be frightened. Maybe disturbed. I wanted to see an evil spirit tormenting this young girl, not trying to make the audience gag. No, I do not get grossed out easily, I am simply talking about it's attempt at grossing people out.
They have a good story, great atmosphere, and ruin it by going for shock value.
When I watch a horror film, I want to be frightened. I'm not into cheap gross out attempts. To be honest, this movie succeeded in drawing me in with it's really tense atmosphere. But then the gross outs started and it made me snap right out of the movie, and right back into my seat, where I was wondering what was so frightening about this film.
If I wanted to see a bunch of uninteresting grossouts, I would have rented a slasher film. But I didn't. I went to the theater to be frightened. Maybe disturbed. I wanted to see an evil spirit tormenting this young girl, not trying to make the audience gag. No, I do not get grossed out easily, I am simply talking about it's attempt at grossing people out.
They have a good story, great atmosphere, and ruin it by going for shock value.
Titanic (1997)
I cried....... because I paid.....
This movie is proof that everything Loyd Kaufman said about Major Studios is right. They force their crap down our throats, remove the art from film-making, and award budgets and names instead of ingenuity and talent.
This movie is bad from beginning to end. It's not just that I hate movies that are hyped, this movie is just hard to watch. I want romance, not people saying I love you over and over again. And I want a real couple, not a couple of star crossed lovers pulled out of the average crappy teen drama. And I want, maybe this is too much, to feel for the people who died on the Titanic, not cheer when the ship finally goes down.
The special effects were phenomenal. But that does not make the movie great. I never liked the characters. Rich girl and poor artist. So? Why am I supposed to like them? Because they belong together even though they come from different worlds? Give me more then that. Neither of the characters was anything more then an empty shell of a being. Kate Winslet and Leonardo DiCaprio tried their best but could not pump life into the characters.
Many films came out that year. Many great ones. This wins the Oscar why? Do people like movies that are driven only by a tragedy that means nothing because we care nothing about the people? We have a real story. One of the most famous disasters of the 21st Century, the struggle of the people on the ship, and those trying to save them. The people who survived, those who met their demise. We don't need a love story that is completely without love.
This movie is bad from beginning to end. It's not just that I hate movies that are hyped, this movie is just hard to watch. I want romance, not people saying I love you over and over again. And I want a real couple, not a couple of star crossed lovers pulled out of the average crappy teen drama. And I want, maybe this is too much, to feel for the people who died on the Titanic, not cheer when the ship finally goes down.
The special effects were phenomenal. But that does not make the movie great. I never liked the characters. Rich girl and poor artist. So? Why am I supposed to like them? Because they belong together even though they come from different worlds? Give me more then that. Neither of the characters was anything more then an empty shell of a being. Kate Winslet and Leonardo DiCaprio tried their best but could not pump life into the characters.
Many films came out that year. Many great ones. This wins the Oscar why? Do people like movies that are driven only by a tragedy that means nothing because we care nothing about the people? We have a real story. One of the most famous disasters of the 21st Century, the struggle of the people on the ship, and those trying to save them. The people who survived, those who met their demise. We don't need a love story that is completely without love.
Star Wars: Episode III - Revenge of the Sith (2005)
Well, at least its over with.
As a fan of the original Trilogy, I suffered through Episode 1 and Episode 2. Episode 1 remains the favorite of the three, only because its the only one of the three that doesn't seem like an over long special effect. At least it seemed to be a Star Wars film, even if it was a bad one.
But lets get right to Episode 3: Revenge of the Sith. After this film was given the PG 13 rating, George Lucas told parents not to bring their kids. I thought immediately "Nice marketing idea, George!" because I knew it would be relatively harmless, and it was.
At least in the case of violence. This movie does damage, though, to anyone who watches it. We start out with a thirty minute action seen that probably had Christopher Lee wondering why he always dies too early in trilogies. Count Dooku is taken out too quickly in the film, during a drawn out action scene where R2 manages to take out a few battle droids, proving once again that George Lucas should stay about fifty feet from Humor at all times.
So we then find out that Anakin's marriage to Padme was a secret. But, she's pregnant, and if you were watching the same trilogy I was, you'd realize that she's hardly around any other man (with the exception of Jar Jar Binks, which opens up too many possibilities that I don't even want to get into). So it can't be the best kept secret in the galaxy. However, Obi wan remains clueless for quite some time. Any good director would make sure that somebody as intelligent as Obi Wan had suspicions all along.
And, of course, Anakin's descent into the Dark Side. Way to manipulate him, Emperor. All Palpatine's dialog was direct, and very well acted. Unfortunately, Hayden Christenson is not an actor, and he drags down what should be the best scenes in the movie. Even still, somehow I doubt that you can go from being angry at yourself for killing a Jedi master to heartlessly Massacring other Jedi. It just doesn't work like that, especially if we are to believe that Anakin is doing this for Padme and her children.
Yoda once again has an action scene, this time fighting the Emperor. Yes, the wise Jedi Master gives us a variety of tough guy lines, to the point where we expect him to say something like "My way or the Highway, it is." Senator Bail Organa was never cool enough. He was the best character in the movie and they did not deliver enough for us to know his character as much as desired. Of course, we never had enough to like Mace Windu so therefore his death in the film is absolutely meaningless.
Through the series though, the only characters we get to know are Padme and Anakin, one portrayed by a brilliant actress, and one portrayed by somebody Lucas might as well have found at a bus stop.
But lets get right to Episode 3: Revenge of the Sith. After this film was given the PG 13 rating, George Lucas told parents not to bring their kids. I thought immediately "Nice marketing idea, George!" because I knew it would be relatively harmless, and it was.
At least in the case of violence. This movie does damage, though, to anyone who watches it. We start out with a thirty minute action seen that probably had Christopher Lee wondering why he always dies too early in trilogies. Count Dooku is taken out too quickly in the film, during a drawn out action scene where R2 manages to take out a few battle droids, proving once again that George Lucas should stay about fifty feet from Humor at all times.
So we then find out that Anakin's marriage to Padme was a secret. But, she's pregnant, and if you were watching the same trilogy I was, you'd realize that she's hardly around any other man (with the exception of Jar Jar Binks, which opens up too many possibilities that I don't even want to get into). So it can't be the best kept secret in the galaxy. However, Obi wan remains clueless for quite some time. Any good director would make sure that somebody as intelligent as Obi Wan had suspicions all along.
And, of course, Anakin's descent into the Dark Side. Way to manipulate him, Emperor. All Palpatine's dialog was direct, and very well acted. Unfortunately, Hayden Christenson is not an actor, and he drags down what should be the best scenes in the movie. Even still, somehow I doubt that you can go from being angry at yourself for killing a Jedi master to heartlessly Massacring other Jedi. It just doesn't work like that, especially if we are to believe that Anakin is doing this for Padme and her children.
Yoda once again has an action scene, this time fighting the Emperor. Yes, the wise Jedi Master gives us a variety of tough guy lines, to the point where we expect him to say something like "My way or the Highway, it is." Senator Bail Organa was never cool enough. He was the best character in the movie and they did not deliver enough for us to know his character as much as desired. Of course, we never had enough to like Mace Windu so therefore his death in the film is absolutely meaningless.
Through the series though, the only characters we get to know are Padme and Anakin, one portrayed by a brilliant actress, and one portrayed by somebody Lucas might as well have found at a bus stop.
Godzilla: Final Wars (2004)
A fitting end
If this is the last Godzilla as said, then I can say the series had a good run and ended on a high note. Perhaps not the highest note possible, this is a very flawed film. However, it is the second best in the Millennium series (next to Megaguiras).
If you read my Godzilla, Mothra, Mechagodzilla review, than you can easily see why i say so. Many of this series have had this annoying habit of having about thirty minutes of plot, then an hour of monster combat. This one gives equal time to storyline and action sequences.
No matter how short, the monster battles are always entertaining, the high point being a fight between Mothra and Gigan. This battle is relatively quick but still very entertaining. Gigan is one of the most powerful foes in the movie, and it was good to see Mothra getting to fight the second most important monster.
Monster X looked like something that would be creepy if it was human size, or maybe a little taller, and crept around in the shadows of a space station. However it didn't matter when he was easily the most powerful monster in the film (or, at least could transform into it).
The human battles were all done very well, accept for an annoying motorcycle chase which had the dumbest use of Matrix style special effects I have ever seen. However, many disappointed fans exaggerate the Matrix influence. It is clearly there in the action scenes, don't get me wrong, but other than the one I mentioned they are well crafted fight scenes.
I rather not talk about the film's flaws, after all, when they are flaws you find in any action film, what are you going to get from going over them. And that in itself is a flaw: This is an action film. Don't expect a monster movie, it is an action film that happens to have a lot of the action being done by monsters.
With an ending that could bring a tear to one's eye. So the Godzilla series (presumably) ends on a good note, much better than Godzilla vs. Destroyah (Terror of Mechagodzilla was not an ending in my opinion). This is a film to be enjoyed, and should have a place in your collection. Its the movie that every now and then you might just want to pop in the DVD player, just because.
***/**** stars
If you read my Godzilla, Mothra, Mechagodzilla review, than you can easily see why i say so. Many of this series have had this annoying habit of having about thirty minutes of plot, then an hour of monster combat. This one gives equal time to storyline and action sequences.
No matter how short, the monster battles are always entertaining, the high point being a fight between Mothra and Gigan. This battle is relatively quick but still very entertaining. Gigan is one of the most powerful foes in the movie, and it was good to see Mothra getting to fight the second most important monster.
Monster X looked like something that would be creepy if it was human size, or maybe a little taller, and crept around in the shadows of a space station. However it didn't matter when he was easily the most powerful monster in the film (or, at least could transform into it).
The human battles were all done very well, accept for an annoying motorcycle chase which had the dumbest use of Matrix style special effects I have ever seen. However, many disappointed fans exaggerate the Matrix influence. It is clearly there in the action scenes, don't get me wrong, but other than the one I mentioned they are well crafted fight scenes.
I rather not talk about the film's flaws, after all, when they are flaws you find in any action film, what are you going to get from going over them. And that in itself is a flaw: This is an action film. Don't expect a monster movie, it is an action film that happens to have a lot of the action being done by monsters.
With an ending that could bring a tear to one's eye. So the Godzilla series (presumably) ends on a good note, much better than Godzilla vs. Destroyah (Terror of Mechagodzilla was not an ending in my opinion). This is a film to be enjoyed, and should have a place in your collection. Its the movie that every now and then you might just want to pop in the DVD player, just because.
***/**** stars
Gas! -Or- It Became Necessary to Destroy the World in Order to Save It. (1970)
Arrow feather....
Faster than you can ask if police brutality is a sin, a poisonous gas has killed everyone over twenty five. With fascist football jocks, young cocky police officers, and some capitalist golf course workers all trying to stop them, a group of hippies struggle to live in peace.
This movie you have to see to believe. Not only is it an almost orgasmic counter culture vision of peace, it is among the best absurdest comedies to date. It proves that Roger Corman should be the one directing the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy Film.
This film is loaded with off the wall dialog and constant political satire that, instead of being dated, reflects the views and attitudes of the time. Its part road comedy, part post apocalyptic, but mostly its just a bunch of insanity. You can watch this movie three times and not catch all the jokes in this humor packed film.
Be warned, this film supports a way of life called "communist anarchism". Communist anarchism is based on a community that is based on direct democracy, with no economic standards. Rather, everyone does what they can and get the same in return. It is a highly idealistic vision, and of course this is a highly idealistic movie. But don't we need some better ideals? Better things to hope for for the future?
This movie you have to see to believe. Not only is it an almost orgasmic counter culture vision of peace, it is among the best absurdest comedies to date. It proves that Roger Corman should be the one directing the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy Film.
This film is loaded with off the wall dialog and constant political satire that, instead of being dated, reflects the views and attitudes of the time. Its part road comedy, part post apocalyptic, but mostly its just a bunch of insanity. You can watch this movie three times and not catch all the jokes in this humor packed film.
Be warned, this film supports a way of life called "communist anarchism". Communist anarchism is based on a community that is based on direct democracy, with no economic standards. Rather, everyone does what they can and get the same in return. It is a highly idealistic vision, and of course this is a highly idealistic movie. But don't we need some better ideals? Better things to hope for for the future?
Coven (1997)
Very Powerful
Its one of those movies that is just a film to some, but a powerful social commentary for others. Mark Boschardt proves himself as a capable film maker, not the man so obviously mocked in American Movie (though when asked about his portrayal in American Movie, Mark Boschardt said "They were making their own movie, I'm not going to judge it so harshly").
The story is simple; a drug addict/alcoholic writer almost dies from an overdose. Hoping to stay sober, he tries out a support group which doesn't quite work for him. So he tries to stay sober on his own. This, of course, becomes impossible as we see the true nature of the support group, which drives him to further drug use in the movie (they do not take kindly to his not returning). The motivations of the group are unknown throughout the movie, and are still unclear at the end.
But the moral and message of the film are clear enough. Those who are in Alcoholics Anonymous will tell you to steer clear of this film, and to quote Boschardt once more "AA feels that if you don't get help from them, or God, then you haven't gotten help at all." This movie struck close to home with me, and I was really glad to be able to meet Mr. Boschardt himself. After all, it is quite obviously a very personal film for him. 4 stars.
The story is simple; a drug addict/alcoholic writer almost dies from an overdose. Hoping to stay sober, he tries out a support group which doesn't quite work for him. So he tries to stay sober on his own. This, of course, becomes impossible as we see the true nature of the support group, which drives him to further drug use in the movie (they do not take kindly to his not returning). The motivations of the group are unknown throughout the movie, and are still unclear at the end.
But the moral and message of the film are clear enough. Those who are in Alcoholics Anonymous will tell you to steer clear of this film, and to quote Boschardt once more "AA feels that if you don't get help from them, or God, then you haven't gotten help at all." This movie struck close to home with me, and I was really glad to be able to meet Mr. Boschardt himself. After all, it is quite obviously a very personal film for him. 4 stars.
Christmas with the Kranks (2004)
Say, did the cold war start up again?
I have had the unfortunate experience of having watched this movie. Oh, great way to start a review, huh? Watching this movie is more harmful to your health than cocaine. That being said, here is a summary of what will go down in history as a movie that truly reflected its time.
The Kranks, though they have such a harsh name, are your regular family. Father, Mother, Daughter. Its the day after thanksgiving, and their daughter leaves them (see, before the movie started, she had joined the peace corps). And the rest of the day doesn't work out for Luthor Krank. Chicago weather gets the most of him, and while walking drenched outside a store he sees a sign, advertising a nice tropical cruise. And this is a man who really needs a vacation.
Soon, he looks at his enormous Christmas expenses, compares it to the price of a cruise, and he gets a brilliant idea: Skip Christmas. And so all is well. Until people find out that Luthor and Nora Krank have denied Tradition. What follows is an assortment of disturbing scenes as the neighborhood tries to win back the Krank's hearts. Two exceptionally troublesome scenes: The newspaper reports the family's wish to not celebrate Christmas in a smear article (front page no less), and the constant arguments about the family's decision to not but up a snowman completely identical to the snowmen on every other roof.
When I was a child, I read the store Tootle the Tank Engine. Tootle was given one rule: Stay on the Rails no matter what. When he went off the rails, nothing was harmed. But he was not supposed to do it so all the conductors and engineers tricked him into staying on the rails. This book was written admittedly as propaganda to keep children following America as the assumed threat of communists grew. Right now, there is an aptmospher in our great nation, that says your for us or against us. If we don't follow, we are wrong. Whether or not this is intentional, the film feels like cold war era propaganda as it does not satirize the neighbor's constant assaults on the Kranks, but supports them.
At any rate, this movie is a frightening monument to conformity and blind faith, and teaches us not to respect the wishes and ideas of others.
See a much better Christmas film with political undertones: Santa Clause Conquers the Martians.
0 stars.
The Kranks, though they have such a harsh name, are your regular family. Father, Mother, Daughter. Its the day after thanksgiving, and their daughter leaves them (see, before the movie started, she had joined the peace corps). And the rest of the day doesn't work out for Luthor Krank. Chicago weather gets the most of him, and while walking drenched outside a store he sees a sign, advertising a nice tropical cruise. And this is a man who really needs a vacation.
Soon, he looks at his enormous Christmas expenses, compares it to the price of a cruise, and he gets a brilliant idea: Skip Christmas. And so all is well. Until people find out that Luthor and Nora Krank have denied Tradition. What follows is an assortment of disturbing scenes as the neighborhood tries to win back the Krank's hearts. Two exceptionally troublesome scenes: The newspaper reports the family's wish to not celebrate Christmas in a smear article (front page no less), and the constant arguments about the family's decision to not but up a snowman completely identical to the snowmen on every other roof.
When I was a child, I read the store Tootle the Tank Engine. Tootle was given one rule: Stay on the Rails no matter what. When he went off the rails, nothing was harmed. But he was not supposed to do it so all the conductors and engineers tricked him into staying on the rails. This book was written admittedly as propaganda to keep children following America as the assumed threat of communists grew. Right now, there is an aptmospher in our great nation, that says your for us or against us. If we don't follow, we are wrong. Whether or not this is intentional, the film feels like cold war era propaganda as it does not satirize the neighbor's constant assaults on the Kranks, but supports them.
At any rate, this movie is a frightening monument to conformity and blind faith, and teaches us not to respect the wishes and ideas of others.
See a much better Christmas film with political undertones: Santa Clause Conquers the Martians.
0 stars.
House of 1000 Corpses (2003)
Not many people appreciate a good horror movie
Something troubling about the horror genre. Slasher films have stopped being slasher films and play up to expectations instead of trying to go beyond (Freddy vs. Jason, Jason X) and just so many films that claim to be horror but are nothing but action films (Resident Evil, Dawn of the Dead), and the PG 13 rating opened the doorway for films that lack any sort of real terror, only a few things that go bump in the night (The Ring, The Grudge, The Haunting).
House of 1000 corpses is one of the greatest horror films of recent years. It may not be the best (I can't forget the pseudophilosophy ramblings of 28 Days later). House of 1000 corpses, Rob Zombie's directorial debut, is a very well made piece of work. It does follow the typical horror movie trends (I knew they shouldn't have picked up that hitchhiker) but is made with such precision and style that the momentary clichés cease to matter. Zombie added weird tints, obscene and insane images throughout the film, which he said was to "Make the film seem weirder." Though that was not necessary, since we are glued after the young hitchhiker brings one of the heroes to her house.
"I like to rip off the arms and legs of my dolls then nail them to my wall" she says in her perky voice. The four writers should have listened to Captain Spaulding, who told them that trying to solve the mystery of Doctor Satan was a waste of time. What began as a simple diversion becomes a hellish existence of torture, death, and harsh escapes.
Its very stylishly directed, with the notably chilling scene of what would be nothing in any other movie in which a police officer is shot in the head. The first few scenes of Captian Spaulding's place are similar to some of the shots from the lesser horror film The Funhouse. Gore is used very effectively in this movie, making you cringe but cutting a way just as the squeamish look away.
Four Stars. Most people do not appreciate this movie, and critics saw it just the same as disappointed horror fans. Even people who like the movie do not understand my four star rating. Yet the movie surpassed all expectations, was never boring, always creepy, skillful direction, a great sense of atmosphere, great acting, and you expect me to give it anything else?
House of 1000 corpses is one of the greatest horror films of recent years. It may not be the best (I can't forget the pseudophilosophy ramblings of 28 Days later). House of 1000 corpses, Rob Zombie's directorial debut, is a very well made piece of work. It does follow the typical horror movie trends (I knew they shouldn't have picked up that hitchhiker) but is made with such precision and style that the momentary clichés cease to matter. Zombie added weird tints, obscene and insane images throughout the film, which he said was to "Make the film seem weirder." Though that was not necessary, since we are glued after the young hitchhiker brings one of the heroes to her house.
"I like to rip off the arms and legs of my dolls then nail them to my wall" she says in her perky voice. The four writers should have listened to Captain Spaulding, who told them that trying to solve the mystery of Doctor Satan was a waste of time. What began as a simple diversion becomes a hellish existence of torture, death, and harsh escapes.
Its very stylishly directed, with the notably chilling scene of what would be nothing in any other movie in which a police officer is shot in the head. The first few scenes of Captian Spaulding's place are similar to some of the shots from the lesser horror film The Funhouse. Gore is used very effectively in this movie, making you cringe but cutting a way just as the squeamish look away.
Four Stars. Most people do not appreciate this movie, and critics saw it just the same as disappointed horror fans. Even people who like the movie do not understand my four star rating. Yet the movie surpassed all expectations, was never boring, always creepy, skillful direction, a great sense of atmosphere, great acting, and you expect me to give it anything else?
The Wizard of Oz (1939)
Oh, how our Morals have changed
The Wizard of Oz is one of the great film classics. Full of Magic, and vibrant Colors, funny creatures, and just a little bit of terror. Or that is how it is seen by most people A great family classic that will always be treasured.
Its true, it is a great film. Very well made, and a very important piece of cinema. But lets look at the time period. Hitler was starting World War 2. The movie has something to say about that, with the Cowardly lion mocking the Dictator. But is that all the moral and political insight of the film?
Of course not. The making of the film corresponded with major victories and major losses in the women's rights movement. Lets take a look at the setting. First, Kansas. Drab, boring, people love Dorothy with all their heart, but they still don't listen to her it would seem. The mean old woman, Ms. Gulch, wants to kill Dorothy's dog. Right now I would like to point out that the evil woman is MISS Gulch, not Mrs. Gulch.
Now, Dorothy goes to Oz and is free of that burden. Her and Her dog can live peacefully. Or so they thought. We have another evil witch out to get Dorothy, who has the ruby slippers she wants. The Ruby slippers were given by The Good Witch of the North. And the only way to really stop the witch from trying to get her is to go home. To do that, she must go find the Wizard.
Through the adventure we have the additional characters. AKA the male escorts, each lacking something that would make them a better man. Now, they are on a quest to gain something. Dorothy is on a quest, in a sense, to lose something. After all the hard work, the Wizard is unable to send her home despite giving everyone else what they need (or think they need). Dorothy is once again visited by the Good Witch of the North, who tells her she had the power to go home all along. But the Good Witch needed her to realize that she did not merely have to wish to go home, but accept that home is where she truly belongs.
So basically, young girls, your entire life involves staying at home and finally settling down with a husband. Nowadays, people wouldn't give their support to a film like this. This classic, but utterly immoral piece.
Its true, it is a great film. Very well made, and a very important piece of cinema. But lets look at the time period. Hitler was starting World War 2. The movie has something to say about that, with the Cowardly lion mocking the Dictator. But is that all the moral and political insight of the film?
Of course not. The making of the film corresponded with major victories and major losses in the women's rights movement. Lets take a look at the setting. First, Kansas. Drab, boring, people love Dorothy with all their heart, but they still don't listen to her it would seem. The mean old woman, Ms. Gulch, wants to kill Dorothy's dog. Right now I would like to point out that the evil woman is MISS Gulch, not Mrs. Gulch.
Now, Dorothy goes to Oz and is free of that burden. Her and Her dog can live peacefully. Or so they thought. We have another evil witch out to get Dorothy, who has the ruby slippers she wants. The Ruby slippers were given by The Good Witch of the North. And the only way to really stop the witch from trying to get her is to go home. To do that, she must go find the Wizard.
Through the adventure we have the additional characters. AKA the male escorts, each lacking something that would make them a better man. Now, they are on a quest to gain something. Dorothy is on a quest, in a sense, to lose something. After all the hard work, the Wizard is unable to send her home despite giving everyone else what they need (or think they need). Dorothy is once again visited by the Good Witch of the North, who tells her she had the power to go home all along. But the Good Witch needed her to realize that she did not merely have to wish to go home, but accept that home is where she truly belongs.
So basically, young girls, your entire life involves staying at home and finally settling down with a husband. Nowadays, people wouldn't give their support to a film like this. This classic, but utterly immoral piece.