jbar19

IMDb member since October 2002
    Lifetime Total
    100+
    Lifetime Trivia
    1+
    IMDb Member
    22 years

Reviews

The Vast of Night
(2019)

Charming, original but runs out of ideas and ends with a thump
Excellent acting from the two lead actors. Great setting and costumes, very original story.

It started out slowly but I didn't mind because the film has a charming, nostalgic and almost folksy feel to it. I was enjoying it very much.

The story really had me interested. There were original and compelling Ideas... and then it just sputtered out and had an unsatisfying ending.

The ending turned this movie from an unknown gem into an average X Files episode. The ending is just a cop out, like the authors ran out of originality and said, "Screw it, we got 85% of a great movie, let's just write some sort of ending and go into production."

Im sad. I was really in to this movie. It was like a 3 course meal where the first 2 dishes were surprisingly good, then they finished with cold hamburgers and kicked you out of the restaurant.

Almost every component of this movie was very good, but the ending turned this movie from and 8.5 to a 6.

Dammit.

Furiosa: A Mad Max Saga
(2024)

Great Action, gorgeous to look, Lead aactress is miscast
The Good
  • Chris Hemsworth steals this movie.


  • Amazing action and stunts. Oustanding.


  • First rate cinematography. Just stunning.


  • Great costumes and art direction.


The Bad Anya Taylor Joy made a valiant effort but was not right for this movie. She is too small and physically not credible as an action lead. I really like her, but a scrawny, 98lb weakling just can't be an action hero like Furiosa.

The story requires a suspension of disbelief that borders on insanity.

At one point Furiosa talks and her voice is deep and gravelly like Clint Eastwood. This literally made me laugh out loud.

Summary Im glad I saw it. It is breathtaking and never boring, but I probably will not re-watch it. Fan Boys of Mad Max will like it.

The Watchers
(2024)

Some suspense but ultimately silly and boring. SKIP it..
Im not going to write a lot about this movie other than for people to just skip it.

It's slow, boring, implausible and ultimately, just silly.

It steals themes from other TV shows/movies and mixes them together into an unsatisfying goulash.

Ironically, one of the the movies it 'borrows from is 'Signs' (Note the Shyamalan connections director/Producer) Also, it grabs some themes from 'True Blood' (No vampires though.)

There is a little suspense and the movie is professional crafted. It's just the story falls flat, doesn't really go anywhere and the ending is unsatisfying.

Dakota Fannings performance runs the gamut of her emotional range from 'listless' to 'uninteresting'

DONT Bother.

Mad Heidi
(2022)

This is a lot of fun! Full of laughs and action
FINALLY!

This movie was a genuine surprise.

It's a very well written story full of sly laughs and TV and film references (allusions)

The film has a delicious 1970s grind house look to it. (The opening sequence is great). Also, the parts with Goat Peter as a high end 'Cheese Dealer' are hysterical. (The drug dealer sampling the cheese for quality looks like it was taken right out of 'Scarface' or 'Beretta'.) There are a lot of quick zoom ins and quick cuts which pay homage to Kung Fu movies and Blaxploitationo films. There is even a reference of Roccola commercials.

The movie largely centers around Heidi, who in her search for revenge, unwitting becomes an anti government fugitive.

Alice Lucy (Heidi) steals the movie. She is beautiful and very believable as an action star. Casper Van Dien is hilarious as the oppressive President Meili. Max Rudlinger is a lot of fun as the nefarious Kommander Knorr.

This movie was made by a crew who obviously has a love of cinema. I write so many negative reviews on IMDB and I'm frequently disappointed at new movie offerings. It's great to find a movie like this in todays woke and sterile climate.

Blood, nudity, sarcastic laughs, action and 3 great performances. This movie is one fun and silly ride.

Killer Body Count
(2024)

Yeesh. Avoid, no comedy, a little gore, mostly a bore
This is one of those movies that try to trick you into watching it.

It promised 1980s style slasher fun, with some sly comedy. It delivered neither.

This movie does have a slightly hidden agenda.

Slightly anti religious, slightly anti male, and obviously aimed at a certain female demographic.

It has a few cute allusions to older, classic horror movies (Phantasm) but it's really just a boring movie with a few PC messages in it, probably written by bitter women.

It has a slight, undeveloped twist at the end, that may have been able to move my rating up a bit, but it went nowhere.

If the movie was scary or funny, I wouldnt mind the messaging. But, no. Just a slow, ludicrous, unsatisfying waste of time. 2/10.

10/31
(2017)

Don't bother. I was fooled by the good reviews. Disappointing
There really isnt a lot to recommend in this movie.

There are 5 stories, none of which are compelling, or even well written. In fact, the only reason I gave it a 3 was because it was at least competently shot and edited.

These stories do not have a resolution. It's just some evil monster or person killing a victim or two with no motivation or back story. There isn't any tension and I didn't have sympathy for any of the victims. In fact, by the 3rd story, I was actually cheering for the characters to be killed, but not even this was very satisfying.

The only reason Im writing the review is to try to spare horror fans the regret I felt.

I could not wait for it to end.

Sunday in the Country
(1974)

Good acting, slice of the 1970s but slow and unsatisfying.
Really great performances by Ernest Borgnine and Michael J. Pollard, but ultimately, I was disappointed. I usually appreciate these mid 1970s movies for stylistic and nostalgia reasons and this movie is definitely pretty to look at (nice cinematography) but the plot sort just kind of goes flat.

Basically, the story revolves around the conflict between a God fearing farmer and three desperate and ruthless bank robbers. But it takes almost 40 minutes before the bank robbers first encounter the farmer.

Then, the conflict sets up all sorts of potentials, none of which are truly realized.

I suspect the theme of this movie is "Who is the real bad guy?" (Anti-hero) which is typical of the morally nebulous movies of the 1970s. ('Death Wish' and 'Dirty Harry' being two of the classic examples of this theme.)

The great acting of Borgnine and Pollard carry the movie despite the unsatisfying plot. But its just a 5/10 overall.

The Last Voyage of the Demeter
(2023)

Bad pacing... Too slow. Otherwise.... it's OK
Well acted, well produced movie. It just goes too slow.

It's a shame, really.

I have no idea why they thought they made this movie almost 2 hours long. 90 minutes and a few more scares would have helped.

There is a little bit of gore, but this movie is more suspenseful than scary.

The acting is the high point. Not a bad actor in the movie. Also, the cinematography is very good. But I 't really cannot recommend it to anyone who isn't a huge fan of Dracula canon.

There are worst ways to spend 2 hours. But this isn't a movie I'd watch again. I was happy when I got to the end credits, I give it a five out of ten just for the acting and the effort put in to the production.

Brooklyn 45
(2023)

Great acting and atmosphere, but the story doesnt go anywhere
This movie has a lot of positive points; great acting, lush cinematography, a great vintage feel, and a very original premise.

But the story was a little murky and leaves too many unanswered questions.

Without giving too much away... At the end of the movie, one can't help but say, "So what?"

There isnt any explanation of the events and no one takes responsibility for their actions. The movie just ends with the characters going "oh well, stuff happened. The end."

It was unsatisfying.

If someone asked me the premise of the movie I'd only be able to say, "Some WWII vets have a seance and weirdness ensures."

No questions were answered. The movie ended with a thud. Too bad. It had real potential.

Chillerama
(2011)

For Horror comedy fans, 1 of the 3 vignettes is great!
This film is a loving homage to some of the B movies from the late 1950s and early 60s. It is basically split into 4 separate stories..

'Wadzilla' is a funny/gross tongue in cheek take off of a Godzilla type movie, A giant sperm goes on a rampage of terror in NYC. This one was really graphic but full of snarky laughs.

The 2nd vignette is 'I was a Teenage Werebear'. I admit that I could NOT make it through this one. The film making and acting was good, but the story was unwatchable.

BUT the real reason to see this movie is the 3rd vignette 'The Diary of Anne Frankenstiein' This one had me laughing out loud. Plus, the guy who plays Adolph Hitler STEALS the show. The movie is worth watching just for this part.

There is a larger story that wraps around the 3 vignettes but it's just a slightly above average zombie/teenage story.

Lots of teenage, immature laughs. Horror and Scifi fans will see a lot of fun references to some classic movies. There may not be enough good stuff in this movie for non horror/comedy fans so this isnt a movie to show your girlfriend.

Sissy
(2022)

No. Predictable, boring. not worth your time
Ugh.

Mean girls reignite an old conflict at a sleep over party in the woods.

One dimensional characters, goofy, silly violence, attempts at social commentary, and a scattershot plot makes this film a great film to ignore.

It just went nowhere. I felt no affinity for any of the characters.

It is a horror comedy with no horror or comedy. Just a few ham-fisted PC warnings on the dangers of teen bullying, and an examination of the self affirmation movement.

I felt a resentment bubbling up inside of me and I was hoping the characters would die in ugly and graphic ways just for revenge for them being in this inane story.

Just really boring and slightly insulting.

Vengeance
(2022)

Unfocused and messy with a few nice moments. Skip it.
This movie tries to play both sides of the fence.

The main character wants to mock and humiliate the simple people of 'fly-over country' as being unwashed and uneducated rubes.

But then, he starts to embrace these people as real and authentic.

But then it changes again and he delivers a mini speech about climate change and people who believe there are microchips in vaccines. A speech I suspect he was dying to deliver.

At first the Texans seem sincere and meritorious and then they come off as loony, double dealing liars and it is all presented in an unbalanced and almost random way. It is scattered and unfocused as if the original screenplay was altered at the last minute.

So you take a vapid, shallow and unfeeling intellectual writer from New York, throw him into a cauldron of less educated and silly characters from Texas and then listen to his musings about Life as he gathers info for a biased and inaccurate podcast to be on NPR.

The dialog is actually quite good, it is the plot and direction of this movie that cause it to go off the rails.

I think BJ Novack tried to please everyone with this movie but ended up pleasing few.

Many of plot questions are left unanswered and the movie ended with a sudden, unsatisfying thud.

This could have been a lot better.

So, Are people alike all over?

Are the educated New Yorkers superior to the Texas simpletons or do the Texans possess some wisdom that eludes the New Yorkers? Why did the main character even GO to Texas? How did they get 3 disparate Texas characters all to use the exact same line that "she wouldnt even take an Advil"? Was that all random or was there some conspiracy?

Sloppy. Unsatisfying. Skip it.

Double Threat
(2022)

Pretty good acting, great action, likable, pretty dumb story - skip it
Well, the main characters were pretty good and the action was very good.but the story, yeesh.

Firstly, a lot of the movie takes place inside of a car and there is OBVIOUS use of green screen which is laughably distracting.

Secondly, the girl with a split personality can do anything, shoot guns, fight, use a bow and arrow while riding a horse.. It comes off as silly. Worse yet are the reasons she supplies for possessing these skills ("I spent three years with a Native American tribe fighting against a gas pipeline.")

The actors did a good job, the action was very good, but it is SO implausible that you cant wait for the obvious ending.

There are worse ways to spend 90 minutes. It has some merit but I dont know if I can recommend this movie.

Smokin' Aces
(2006)

Convoluted, Star power cant save it. Tries to be stylish. Fails.
This film starts out with a nice mix of comedy and intrigue. It had some very interesting characters and grabbed my attention. But then about 40 minutes into the movie I was thinking, "Where the hell is this going?"

It's like the story ran out of steam and they tried to cover it up with some high end action sequences. The action was by far the reason I gave this movie a 5/10 and not anything lower.

Alas, it's not enough. Plus there is a twist at the end that is is just downright ludicrous.

Rarely has so much star power been wasted in a movie. Blink and you will miss Ben Affleck. Andy Garcia seems to change his accent 3 times in this movie. Jeremy Piven is totally typecast as an a-hole but he doesnt really add much to the plot. Ray Liotta and Ryan Reynold did a great job.

But ultimately, this movie is incoherent clutter which is sad because it started out well. But it just eventually devolves into a convoluted shamble.

X
(2022)

A disappointment, a waste. Noting can save the boring storyline
The Good

  • Very well shot.


  • Surprisingly well acted.


  • Gratuitous sex scenes.


  • Likable characters.


The Bad

  • SLOW!!! Takes too long to get to the few good scenes.


  • No story development whatsoever.


  • Random actions with no real explanations.


  • Crappy resolution to the tension it develops.


  • VERY little character empathy. I couldnt wait for bad things to happen to ALL of them.


I have to admit, Im not only disappointed but actually a little angry.

This film had promise. Despite the fact that the story takes 45 minutes to get interesting, the actors were surprisingly good, their characters were likable.

By the times the actions starts I found myself asking, "Oh no. Is this all there is?" No real backstory. No explanation of character motivations.

After 70 minutes of watching this frustrating waste, I found myself hoping everyone in the movie dies.

The scene where Mia Goth is swimming in a lake and an alligator silently stalks her is a perfect example of what is wrong with this movie. It is a beautifully shot and tense scene where the alligator follows her as she swims to shore. When it seems that that gator is just about to chomp her, Mia gets out of the water and the scene is over.

A well shot, well acted nothing burger. Not even the gore and hot sex scenes can save this one. It's a shame.

Crabs!
(2021)

Wow. Unfunny. Cheap CGI. Slightly annoying.
Usually it is a good thing when I say it appears the movie was written by a 13 year old old... But not this time.

This is an unfunny cross between 'Gremlins', 'Hobgoblins', 'Weird Science' and a Kaiju movie.

This is a low budget movie with good intentions, but is absolutely hobbled by a script only an 11 year old could find funny.

The people behind this movie obviously gave it their all. The acting wasnt really bad, it was professionally shot and it tries to copy the look and feel of a fun 1980s movie.

But it is dumb, Very bad scenes included horseshoe crab/aliens drinking in a bar and another one acting as a DJ.

The character of Radu was especially unfunny, unoriginal and annoying.

But it is the loathsome CGI that really buries this movie.

On a lighter note, Jessica Morris was smoking hot and Allie Jennings appears to have a future in acting.

The Manson Brothers Midnight Zombie Massacre
(2021)

This is a fun, little low budget movie! Rody fun for guys!
This is a silly, funny, relatively predictable movie that truly exceeds expectations.

Now, just by virtue of the title, you should know not to expect 'The Shining' or 'Night of the Living Dead'. This is a movie that does not take itself too seriously and therein lies its charm.

It starts off a little slow and then builds into a funny, absurd romp. There is a lot of snappy and witty dialogue. If I had any issue with the movie it is that the dialogue was spoken too quickly and sometimes hard to decipher.

MMA superstars Randy Couture and the great Bas Ruttan add to the fun. There are a lot of inside Professional wrestling jokes so WWE fans should get a kick out of it.

This isnt really a 'date movie' or a movie than girls will enjoy, unless they are fans of horror-comedy. There is some gore, but it kind of silly-gore so it's not too realistic.

I truly hope they make a sequel. It is just a fun movie where you effortless cheer on the good guys and hiss at the villains. Rowdy Fun!

The Brain
(1988)

Low Budget, Cheesy fun from Canada. 5/10
The Brain is a slightly silly, sci fil horror story about 2 aliens trying to brainwash Earthlings through a Television show and the two high school students who fight to expose the aliens.

I get the feeling that they started to make a serious movie and then in the middle of the production, they just started throwing in some silly elements (Topless girl, SODIUM signs, etc)

The Brain comes off more as a made for TV movie than a feature. It's not very scary and it's not very funny, but it has a certain 1980s nostalgic, goofy charm.

The two main actors take their roles very seriously and you could tell they both would go on to bigger and better things.

The alien monster looks like an greasy muppet and is not at all scary. There are several distracting production errors and mistakes that are fairly noticeable.

The two groups of people who would get the most enjoyment from this movie are 11 year olds (because it isnt very scary) and people who grew up in the 1980s (for nostalgia)

I can't say that you should go out of your way to see this movie, but if it comes on TV you might want to give it a watch.

Brutal Realty, Inc.
(2019)

It's funny and likeable. I wished it was longer.
This is a funny, tongue-in-cheek comedy about a demonic rock and roll drummer who wants to embrace his true calling. "selling affordable single-family real estate!"

It's hard to believe the main character is not a professional actor. He is great. I read that he is a real life drummer with Samhain'.

The movie is simple, funny and the main character is very likeable even though he appears to be some sort of demon. It is a very nice surprise.

I just wish it was longer.

Agnes
(2021)

Abysmal, nothing there. Cant believe it was released!
What the hell was that?

2 semi cool scenes of demonic possession and then, nothing. In fact, it is like a second movie started. No explanations, no real backstory, no resolution.

I am baffled.

No redeeming value. A few good performances but they had nothing to work with. I am really astounded at how this movie ever got to the production stage.

I feel ripped off. Avoid this.

Porno
(2019)

A nothing-burger. Never gets going. Directionless and uneven
This movie had no coherent story. It was boring. I watched it hoping the ending would spice it up, but then, bang, it was over.

Well shot, relatively well acted (A little loud and shrill) but the story just falls flat.

No real scares, no good laughs, no logic, plot holes abound and the story never takes off.

Disappointing.

Don't Let Her In
(2021)

A pleasant, sexy, low budget surprise
Dont Let Her In is a great example of quality film making created on a budget. It only has 4 characters and one of them wasnt even necessary.

Very good acting, surprisingly well shot considering the 125K budget and it is a fun, evil, little story.

It has some predictable moments which are easy to overlook.

Lorin Doctor steals this movie. She is the perfect mix of evil, gorgeous and crazy. But it is Kelly Curran's performance that makes the premise of this story believable.

It's only an hour long and is a fun, sexy, little piece of horror candy.

Bloody Hell
(2020)

Very Original and fun. Def worth a watch
This was a nice surprise.

Dont get me wrong, this isnt 'Dead Alive' or 'Evil Dead II'

It is slow in some parts, but over all, it is very original and frequently funny. There are some good action sequences and the movie keeps you guessing.

Ben O'Toole gives an award worthy performance. He carries the whole movie and looks to have a bright future in movies.

This is a wacky little film and I enjoyed it.

Bad Candy
(2020)

Avoid, A mess, a loud, silly mess.
First, the bad...

Loud audio, bad CGI, predictable, disjointed, over use of drone shots, astoundingly one dimensional characters, smarmy narrators. Plus it infused some brief and very unneeded politics.

Not scary, not funny, not original and not so-bad-that-it's-good. Each vignette just ends. They are just incidents and not stories.

Almost every over-used horror cliche is on display; killer clowns, flying demons, duplicitous ghost hunters, unhinged army veterans, people who put razor blades in candy etc.

On the good side... shot very well, professionally edited, some very subtle homages to other horror films,

The army guys vignette at least had some humor. And I enjoyed their part

Army Guy 1: "You know you get really sleepy after you eat White people."

Army guy 1: "Why didn't you hit her?" Army guy 2 "She was a woman".

Army guy 1 : "What are you, sexist?"

The ending kind of ties things together and I REALLY wanted to like this movie, but it is a mess, a loud, silly mess.

Risen
(2021)

An average short story stretched into a movie
A meteor lands and emits a toxic cloud that kills over 300 residents in a nearby town. A few dozen of the corpses reanimate into a frozen, zombie like state.

An disgraced and troubled exobiologist is called in by the Army to help investigate. They move one of the reanimated corpses to the meteor crash site. He comes alive and channels the thoughts of an alien who warns that his race is coming to take over the Earth.

Sounds promising, right?

This is a painfully slow and uneventful movie. I gave it a 4 only because of the few action scenes. The lead actress runs the gamut of emotions from depressed to dull and depressed.

Do you know in horror movies when the teenage kids make bad decisions while running from the serial killer? This movie has about 45 minutes of that feeling.

Unconvincing, implausible actions by the main characters and a bummer ending made me regret watching this movie.

See all reviews