jcr22

I'm not usually one to be bothered by 'shaky cam' in say Blair Witch Project or Troll Hunter, but here the camera is constantly moving and shaking for the entire 90 minutes, rendering the film almost unwatchable, I had a headache at the end.

Even ignoring this, the movie is no great shakes, it's well acted, it's suitably unpleasant and there are moments of grim humour I laughed at; but the narrative is wafer thin and a lot of the movie really is nothing Takashi Miike hasn't done better half a dozen times before.

Anyway all I really wanted to say, if you dislike 'shaky cam' avoid this movie like the plague, it will make your head hurt.

This is probably the worst film I've ever seen, and I say that without hyperbole.

The first hour is deadly dull, with little happening beyond a simple version of the Alice in Wonderland (or The Matrix) "going down the rabbit hole" plot line. It is not exciting and the acting is poor.

The final 40 minutes are basically one rape scene after another. There is no connection between you and the characters which basically renders the whole thing meaningless. Also the acting by one character is very over the top, making it ridiculous. At least some parts of it are played for laughs, which just boggles my mind.

I understand the makers of A Serbian Film have claimed it has a political message. Well unless you think 'in Serbia everyone gets raped' is a deep political message then you'll likely disagree. I think it likely the makers are claiming this because if they admitted it's a silly exploitation movie- which it is- no one would find the content acceptable. I don't think it should be cut or banned though, because that just risks turning it into a legend.

I watched this film because it was the day my father died and I wanted something to indulge my bad mood- and it even failed at that- I wouldn't have touched it otherwise, and I would strongly advise you to avoid it. Can't stop you of course, but it's your funeral.

Bah, there I was sitting in the cinema watching the incredible opening sequence of hitchhikers guide thinking 'my goodness, they've pulled it off'.

But they haven't. Visually it's stunning, but they've tried to fit far too much in, they've thrown idea after idea at the screen in the hope something sticks- it's totally scattershot (example- Malkovich's character is made to seem important but he's in it for about 2 minutes before the film moves on to something else). They should have kept more of the source material, slowed the pace down and let the humour breathe. The acting is good although Freeman pales next to Simon Jones (dent in the TV series), and is not helped when the latter turns up for a cameo. And the improbability drive has been reduced to a useful button to press to get rid of plot holes.

I feel bad about not liking this given it's this sort of thing that's going to have to save the movies from the likes of XXX 2, but it's difficult to see who this will appeal to. Die hards won't like the changes (worst crime- the guides 'mostly harmless' description of earth is omitted) and I suspect it's going to go over most other folk's heads. A major disappointment.

5/10.

Gawd, that was sooooo depressing to write, as marvin would no doubt say.

I love this film. 10/10, but I certainly would NOT attempt to watch it if you haven't seen at least the 1st season of the TV show. It's just I as a cinema goer am just drowning in Hollywood excrement- hundreds of films that are basically photocopies of each other- and then there is Twin Peaks: Fire Walk With Me, Lynch's darkest and most nihilistic vision. You could argue that it was stubborn of him to do it like this but what compared to Die Hard 38 or whatever it's a relief. For me the film encapsulates a sense of dread and inevitability better than any other horror film, Lynch's familiar theme regarding the dark underbelly of the middle class being taken to the extreme. The acting is great, and Angelo Badalamenti is the best film composer in the world bar none. You can complain that it is too surreal, but it's a film that expects it's audience to have an opinion about what it means, the final scene being my favorite scene in any movie ever regardless of how you choose to read it. You can read many things into its scenes, it is so unlike these popcorn films you struggle to remember 5 minutes after the lights go up- I love the fact 10 years after it was made there it is still actively discussed on the internet. It is just an interesting film that stands out miles. David Lynch I salute you.

I'm a big Miike fan but have to say I was let down a bit by gozu. It seemed to me to be little more than a series of unconnected set pieces rather than a coherently plotted movie, and that it was a gross out movie pretending it's high art. And strangely enough I didn't think it was that gross... The ending is almost identical to Lars Von Triers The Kingdom and it was done better there. Don't get me wrong, it's funny as hell and well acted but I was just expecting something more. Maybe I just went in to it too hyped up. Ah well I give it 6/10. If you're new to Miike I'd recommend you leave this alone and check out fudoh or dead or alive instead.

The Tulse Luper Suitcases: The Moab Story is a difficult film to review, I watched it and I have no idea what it was supposed to be about. The story as far as it goes at face value...actually I don't even know that. This film makes Mulholland drive look simplistic. I actually wonder if Greenaway has made a film to impress his peers rather than hook any sort of cinema going audience. The indoor sets look more like a stage play than a film and when you add slightly over the top acting it does feel sometimes like you are watching a sixth form drama class rather than a meaningful film. Indeed the characters are so weak it needs other characters doing voiceovers while appearing in boxes at the bottom of the screen to push the story along and explain what is happening.

The plot is far far too complex- I challenge anyone to list what was in the Luper suitcases in order after the film. It's impossible. And this and some other aspects of the film do come over like an episode of the 1980s BBC series "The hitchhikers guide to the galaxy" only without the humour. Or anything else that made hitchhikers good for that matter.

And then we come onto the vaunted film-making techniques the film uses. Well some of it is clever- I liked the guy stuck in the lost property office, but then again some of it's just annoying- in some scenes characters repeat their lines over and over for effect. Also I'm no prude but there was too much full frontal nudity in this film. It just got dull.

Greenaway should be praised for trying something new, and on this scale, but he has ended up making one of the most uncommercial movies ever, and that is not a complement. I have no desire to see parts 2 or 3, and I doubt many other people who watch this will either. I give The Tulse Luper Suitcases part 1: The Moab Story 3/10 and I feel that is slightly generous.

The other day I saw this film, and then I watched it 2 more times all the way through gasping in utter disbelief at it- and I am a Miike fan who is used to the fact his films are not gonna be PG13.

This film only can really be viewed as a comedy, it reminded me of what kubrick said of the Dr Strangelove book before he made it- it's really serious, and so comedy is the only way to go with it, it'd be far to depressing otherwise. And so we sort of have Seul Contre Tous meets Pink Flamingos, although it really is unlike any other film I have ever seen.

The thing about Miike is the plot seems to be almost unimportant to him, he is it appears to me to be more concerned with individual scenes that could be watched on their own, like an artist concentrating on one image at a time- the cockfight from city of lost souls or the opening of dead or alive, and this is very true about this film- hey I don't know what the final plot twist involving breast milk was really about, and I'm not sure I wanna know. But this does not matter because some of the scenes here are truly wonderful, the bit where they are eating dinner, the bullies start throwing fireworks in and the father finally cracks as the others remain composed, trying to retain some sense of "normality", was one of the funniest things I have seen in ages, and then I watched it again and realised the tragedy of it all. The performances were all great too, the nihilistic teens and on the edge parents played perfectly.

I can't recommend this wholeheartedly- I thought the first scene was overlong and too sick. but if you have a really strong stomach and want to see something different from everything else and that brings new meaning to the phrase gross out, I'd check it out. I'd recommend watching the more palatable Happiness of the Katakuris first, and if you don't like that films off beat humour, stay far far away from visitor Q.

Miike reminds me of Ed Wood in a good way. He's doing what he wants to do, and he'll keep doing it regardless of what people and censor boards world-wide think. Good on him!

I watched this for the 1st time last week-it was utterly bloody awful. It didn't know if it wanted to be a high school satire like Heathers or a straight vamp movie like the lost boys. It tried to be both and just ended up a mess. And the make up, what was up with that? The vamps look like vulcans who are going to a 1980s nightclub. It was the worst vamp make up ever in film. And whoever thought the idea of camp vampires was a good one should be shot. Paul Reubens death scene is one of the worst, misjudged, scenes in movie history. And as for the acting, well if you had shown it me before boys don't cry was made and told me Hilary Swank would win best actress oscar one day I would have laughed at you. How this mess turned into the great Tv series I do not know, but I congratulate Joss Whedon for the feat (I suspect he didn't have much to do with the movie).

Oh and it's got David Arquette in it. 'Nuff said.

OK, so I went to a screening of Irreversible last night, and oh dear. Ignoring the hype, what are you left with? A film with annoying "shaky cam" to the extent that it makes Blair Witch look serene, with a plot that wafer thin and cliched. Not to mention the fact the films ends with a long dose of strobe lighting that gave me a headache.

Everything about this film was done better in I stand alone. Noe has let his nihilism get the better of him here. How are we supposed to care about the characters when he doesn't- and anyone inclined to try and form a connection with the characters would be too put off by the violence. The pointlessly angry racism, shown here in the cab scene was done much better in I stand alone too- it was cold, irreversible is pointless.

And we move onto the violence. And heres a problem- it's been hyped to the extent that that everyone going in imagined it was worse than it was, and strangely therefore, I was left thinking "so what, Salo was worse" when I came out, hey maybe Noe's nihilism is spreading! This is not helpful. Only 2 of the 150 or so crowd walked out, (which was less than did during a murder scene in the unhyped My little Eye BTW) so I think this was a common problem. And where's Noe gonna go for his next film? It can't really get any darker.

I quite liked the fact that each scene was 1 shot, and the concept time destroys everything was interesting if underdeveloped, and I get the point that movies should be like real life, but that is no excuse for this film. This is not to say I think it should be banned, it should not.

I am a big fan of Noe's first film I stand alone, and this was very disappointing. I wouldn't waste your money on it.

3 out of 10

Oh yes. This is nice. Here are some random thoughts about it:

First thing it is a british film, but it's set in the USA with all American characters-probably essential for the box office.

The Good:

I don't actually want to say to much about this, and I would recommend you go into it with as little knowledge as possible about the film. This is a good film for all you who were moaning about Jason X was a 15. The director previously made Resurrection Man, and he has retained his sense of sadism for this one- it is most certainly not a 15 (and hey, it also has a OTT basic instinct style sex scene which is nice.) It's a film that does loads of "jump scenes" and does them quite nicely thank you very much. It reminded me of the David Fincher film the game, only this is better. The acting is great, all the actors play their mind numbingly shallow characters to perfection. It was a very atmospheric film as well. This I liked.

The bad:

It has 1 or two plot holes, it sorta reminded me of the blair witch project in that way but like BWP it is forgiveable. Also some of the scenes had nine inch nails style industrial noise over the top of them which really was not necessary, and did annoy me slightly.

Conclusion:

I'd give this film 8/10 and I'd strongly recommend it. In terms of british horror this year it is better than dog soldiers and 28 days later is gonna have to be a bit special to be better than this. Here's to the company. Go see.