Sister Wives XXX: A Porn Parody

Once-talented pornographers B. Skow and David Stanley team up again for this awful nonsense. A true "porn parody" would be an SNL skit making fun of porn, such as Dan Aykroyd's classic segment about producer B. Ron Elliott. But what Adult video companies call parodies are instead infringement, in this case pointlessly ripping off a reality-TV series from The Learning Channel.

I always assumed that these XXX parodies, which I abhor, were based on nostalgia. Sort of the silly notion: what if Nichelle Nichols of "Star Trek" got down? But there's no nostalgia value to this current TV show, just dead air on cable to titillate the brain-dead regarding polygamy.

The female cast is mainly chosen for their huge breasts, in fact giving the all-time great BBW actress Samantha G a truly rare mainstream film appearance (she is also great in Girlfirends Films' "Lesbian Love Connections", but otherwise confined to niche fetish videos). She plays the polygamist Kody Brown's middle of 3 wives, while first wife Janelle is portrayed by another mammoth mammaries performer Lisa Sparxxx. Youngest Christine comes in the form of Aliysa Moore, a D-cupper. Even the token soft-core eye-candy non-sex role goes to a big-bust starlet, the divine, and underrated, Natasha Nice.

Counterbalancing this vast surplus of glandular flesh is the film's leading lady, bride-to-be India Summer. Looking fabulous as always (the 3 wives are all homely) Summer's acting chops once again nearly create a character out of the nothingness of Lazy David Stanley (now Trump's got even me doing it) and his lousy screenplay.

Ensuring the utter failure of this misguided project, Evan Stone with funny hairdo is cast as the patriarch, an opportunity for his usual hamminess and dumb ad libs. The 3 wives all look suitably realistic, not resembling actresses or porn talent at all. But here's Evan, the most recognizable male actor in Adult Cinema -excluding has-been who won't slink away quietly Ron Jeremy of course. In scene after scene he sticks out, not like a sore thumb but rather like an overlong cock. The fact that he does the humping in all 5 of the feature's sex scenes shows how scriptwriter Stanley seems to have forgotten Porn Directive 1: vary the cast.

With no laughs generated by the premise or lame gags (chief of which is half-brother J. Jay getting a fake boner in his shorts whenever he sees sis Natasha, leading to non-incest when pop Evan intervenes after Nice removes her top and is about to get it on with bro), director/cameraman B. Skow apparently kept awake by amusing himself with the imitation Reality-TV docu camera-work, strictly boring. Tedium hits its apex when all four wives (India just got hitched) have a lesbian orgy, not helped by Evan inevitably joining the fray to keep dick-addicts happy.

With their bank-rollers Vivid Entertainment no longer shelling out from deep pockets for garbage like this (the BTS short subject touts a lengthy shooting schedule though a 1-day wonder would have been sufficient), Skow & Stanley will hopefully be unable to follow up with crap on this scale.