Hating Alison Ashley (2005)

Jean Kittson: Miss Belmont

Quotes 

• Barry : Do you know how violent they got? Someone could have taken my eye out with a tampon!

  Miss Belmont : Uh-huh.

  [slams Barry into wall] 

• Miss Belmont : Erica, I know I can rely on you to show Alison around.

  Erica Yurken : Sure, Miss Belmont!

  Barry : Yeah, I'll come too. After Erica gives you the freak-show; I'll show you the good stuff.

  Erica Yurken : [introduces Alison to Barry]  Alison, this is Barry Hollis, my stalker.

  Barry : Yeah, you wish Yurken!

• Miss Belmont : [looking over at Erica, with her eyebrow singed]  Girl with one eyebrow, your name?

  Erica Yurken : [narrating]  My life's dream was to be a great actress, and have my name in lights. But first, I'd have to change it from...

  [the class start chanting "Gherkin!", "Yuk!" and "Erk!" at different times, in a cacophony] 

  Miss Belmont : [yelling at the class]  QUIET!

  [Miss Belmont then looks at Erica] 

  Erica Yurken : [answering Miss Belmont]  Erica Yurken.

  Miss Belmont : "Erica" is a very beautiful name. Did you know, that it means "great heroine"?

  [the class laughs and Miss Belmont whacks one of the students on the head]