It Ain't Half Hot Mum (1974–1981)
Michael Knowles: Captain Jonathan Ashwood
Photos
Quotes
-
Captain Ashwood : Who's Major Waddilove-Evans?
Colonel Reynolds : Eh? Oh, just the husband of the lady who happened to be on leave in the hills as the same time as me.
[coughs]
Captain Ashwood : Jolly good show.
Colonel Reynolds : Yes, it was.
-
BSM Williams : Gunner Sugden is next sir. I don't think he will be here very long.
BSM Williams : March! Left right, left right, left right, left right, move yourself move yourself, move yourself! Salut!
BSM Williams : Now, the colonel and the captain would ask you questions to see if you're suitable as a bombarbier. Is that clear?
Lofty : Yes Sergeant-Major.
Captain Ashwood : Now then sugden, you're on patrol with an officer and 10 man. You see 3 Japanese soldiers entering a thicket. When do you open fire?
Lofty : How thick is the thicket?
BSM Williams : The thickness of the thicket has nothing to do with it, answer the question!
Lofty : What are they going in the thicket for?
Colonel Reynolds : Good question. What are they going in the thicket for Ashwood?
Captain Ashwood : It doesn't say sir. I think they're just passing through.
Colonel Reynolds : I see, when do you open fire Sugden?
Lofty : Before they entering the thicket?
BSM Williams , Colonel Reynolds , Captain Ashwood : No.
Lofty : When they're in the thicket?
BSM Williams , Colonel Reynolds , Captain Ashwood : No.
Lofty : When they come out of the thicket?
BSM Williams , Colonel Reynolds , Captain Ashwood : No.
Lofty : I failed, haven't I?
BSM Williams , Colonel Reynolds , Captain Ashwood : Yes.
-
[repeated line]
Captain Ashwood : Oh, dear, I am a fool, aren't I?