Blonde Crazy (1931)

Joan Blondell: Anne Roberts

Photos 

Quotes 

• Bert Harris : Now, you play ball with me... and your worrying days will be over.

  Ann Roberts : Yeah? How about the nights?

  Bert Harris : [smirks]  Well, I'll see what I can do about those too, honey!

• Ann Roberts : [final lines]  No matter what happens. No matter what it is. I'll be waiting.

  Bert Harris : If I had the wings of an angel hoooney, over these prison walls I would fly!

• Ann Roberts : Thanks.

  Bert Harris : Bert.

  Ann Roberts : Bert?

  Bert Harris : Call me Albert, for short.

  Ann Roberts : Goodbye, Bertie.

• Bert Harris : I didn't mean to get you sore. I like you, Ann, really. You know, you're the first girl to sock me for going for her.

  Ann Roberts : Yeah?

  Bert Harris : You know, honey, I'd like to have you sock me like that everyday.

  Ann Roberts : Oh, would you?

  Bert Harris : Sure, hun. I'd love it.

  [Ann slaps Bert, again, across the face] 

• Ann Roberts : You sound like Santi Claus in wolf's clothing.

  Bert Harris : Honey, I'm Santa Claus, Robin Hood and the Goose that laid the Golden Egg - all in one.

• Ann Roberts : I'm awfully tired. I think I'll turn in.

  Bert Harris : That's not a bad idea. You can sleep in the lower and I'll take the upper. You don't mind do you? You see, I was in such a hurry when I bought the tickets, I just got one compartment.

  Ann Roberts : I sort of figured you'd be in hurry when you bought the tickets, Bert. So, I bought a berth in the next car. You don't mind do you? I'm sure you'll sleep better that way. Oh, I mustn't go without letting you know how much I care for you, Bert, dear.

  [lightly slaps Bert's face and leaves] 

• Bert Harris : Listen, Ann. The girl that got the job is a friend of one of the bellhops. So everything's all fixed now, see?

  Ann Roberts : What do you mean, fixed?

  Bert Harris : Well, you see, she didn't want the job very bad anyhow. They're going to get married in a couple of weeks. She just wanted money for a baby carriage.

• Peggy : And let me tell you something about this place. I've been here six months and I know! For the love of Mike, stay away from those bellhops. They can't do a girlie any good. And the worst monkey of them all is that guy, Bert Harris. He's dynamite. Everybody in this joint owes him money from those crooked dice of his.

  Ann Roberts : He can't do me any harm. I haven't any money and I don't shoot craps.

  Peggy : Oh, yeah? Well, maybe you have something else he can use.

• Ann Roberts : Oh, it's you.

  Bert Harris : Body and soul.

  [Ann enters the room and Bert turns out the lights] 

  Bert Harris : I never did like bright lights. Look, honey, I got some hooch and sandwiches and stuff for us. Nice and quiet here. Not a chance of anybody finding us. I knew you'd come.

  [Ann slaps Bert and leaves the room] 

  Bert Harris : That's a fine way to treat a fella that gets you your job!

• A. Rupert Johnson, Jr. : Hello. Kinda hot tonight.

  Ann Roberts : Too hot. Shall I do your bed?

  A. Rupert Johnson, Jr. : Kind of early, isn't it?

  Ann Roberts : Not if you're going to bed.

  A. Rupert Johnson, Jr. : Well, a bed doesn't mean much to a fellow like me. Just a place to rest my head.

  Ann Roberts : What a treat for the bed.

  A. Rupert Johnson, Jr. : Yeah! Say, how 'bout little nip together? Just you and me.

• Bert Harris : You know, that's the best part of being in the big dough, you can canvas the field and can have all the dames you can use.

  Ann Roberts : Is that you're ambition?

  Bert Harris : Oh, no, not exactly. But, you can't blame me for looking around, honey. You won't give me a tumble.

• Ann Roberts : I could go for you. Sometimes I think I even want to. You're nice. You're not a collar ad, but, you're not bad looking either. But, just when I get set to fall, you spoil everything.

  Bert Harris : What do you mean?

  Ann Roberts : Just this: love doesn't mean anything in your life. You think you can turn it on and off by pushing a button - like you do a light. You worship nothing but dough. No, you're not my type, Bert. You got started on the wrong foot and little Nell is not going to be just another in your life.

  Bert Harris : Well, I say you're wrong. And maybe someday you'll find it out. I may not know much about making love; but, there's one thing I do know - and that is I wanted you from the first day I saw you. But, if I can't have you, I'll have somebody else. Oh, come on, we're getting too serious. Let's dance.

• Bert Harris : I know what's bothering you. You're burned up by that blonde dame.

  Ann Roberts : Why should I be jealous of a bleached-out bag like that? Of all the conceited apes I ever saw, you take the cake. One of the million reasons I could never go for ya. I wish you could get it in your thick skull that I'm not at all interested in your lady friends.

• Ann Roberts : Oh, you make me sick.

  Bert Harris : You mean that blonde makes you sick. Ha-ha-ha!

  [Ann slaps Bert] 

• Bert Harris : Where are you hoooney? Oh Ann, are you there? Is it all right for me to come in?

  Ann Roberts : Hey, what do you mean crashing in like that? Can't you see I'm takin' a bath?

  Bert Harris : Yeah? Move over!

  [Ann screams] 

• Ann Roberts : Well, it don't sound good to me; but, if I don't give you the money you'll probably steal it. So, take it, my friend.

  Bert Harris : Honey, where?

  Ann Roberts : In my brassiere.

  Bert Harris : Where?

  Ann Roberts : In my brassiere.

  Bert Harris : You got pockets in that?

• Ann Roberts : Oh, Bert, sometimes you act like a kid. You lie and you pout and you won't give in.

  Bert Harris : Who's lying?

  Ann Roberts : You are! But, that's all right. I'll pretend to believe ya, Skippy.

• Bert Harris : Mmmm, Browning! Not really.

  [Reading an inscription in a book of poems by Robert Browning] 

  Bert Harris : "To Ann, This book's so suitable. Joe." You never told me. "No shade encroaching on the matchless mould, Of those two lips, which should be opening soft, In the pure profile; not as when she laughs, For that spoils all: but rather as if aloft, Yon hyacinth, she loves so, leaned its staff's, Burthen of honey-coloured buds to kiss, And capture 'twixt the lips apart for this." Now, honey, I ask you. - Is this the kind of hooey that guy Reynolds hands out?

  Ann Roberts : Why, I think it's lovely.

  Bert Harris : He may be a poet to you; but, he's just a peasant to me.

• Bert Harris : Come on, let's get out of here. I'm starved. I could eat the hip of a horse.

  Ann Roberts : Well, I'll go with you but I'm not very hungry. I had a late luncheon. Who's guest do you think I was?

  Bert Harris : Don't tell me, don't tell me: Einstein.

• Ann Roberts : Well, thank heavens that's over with. You have no idea how hard it is to put up with getting pawed by somebody you don't care for. Are you satisfied with our revenge? Isn't that a darn sight more gratifying than just punching him in the nose?

  Bert Harris : With all of this dough in my hands, how can I say you're wrong.