Horror/Thriller/Mystery Films to Avoid (2000 - Now)
Some films aren't worth your time. Here's a list.
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- DirectorSteven KnightStarsMatthew McConaugheyAnne HathawayDiane LaneA fishing boat captain juggles facing his mysterious past and finding himself ensnared in a reality where nothing is what it seems.Did you like Vanilla Sky? This is a really crappy version of that film. I think the actors were tricked into doing this film.
It starts off a bit weird, but it has potential and mystery. Then there's a plot twist that just makes - no gd sense, and the film that was already hanging on by a thread - goes far, far down the crapper. - DirectorVíctor GarciaStarsJolene AndersenSteven BrandDan BuranTwo college friends unwittingly release Pinhead and his minions.Honestly, I couldn't finish this film. That's not something that happens often, and I really tried to finish it.
First, it's not Doug Bradley, and I understand. Maybe he was busy. But, find a decent replacement, and don't make everything else about the film equally awful.
Next, it tries to latch onto the found-footage craze, and then it has bad acting, bad pacing, bad lighting. If one film could sink a whole series, this would be the one. - DirectorMichael TavernaStarsMischa BartonJulianne MichelleRebecca De MornayA modern ghost story which turns a love/hate relationship between mother and daughter into a tale of horror. Some rentals are too good to be true.In 3D, to make the pestilence hop off the screen at you...
I'm going to be nice to this film and blame the screenwriter and director, for most of the flaws here, because I've seen most of the main actors before, and they've done better.
It's just that the film is riddled with terrible dialogue and scenes. The characters seem schizophrenic: I'm terrified; no, I'm fine. I barely knew her, but she's worth dying for. I hate you; I love you; no, I hate you...
And what's with the random rap song in the credits? - DirectorJohn LuessenhopStarsAlexandra DaddarioTania RaymondeScott EastwoodA young woman travels to Texas to collect an inheritance. Little does she know that an encounter with a chainsaw-wielding killer is part of the reward.Whhhyyy!?
I thought the 2003 reboot was excellent, gritty, nice marketing to a young audience, some good performances...
I don't know why this exists. It's bearable, and I watched until the end because the story is different from every other Texas Chainsaw film (don't quote me on that).
But, it feels like something churned out for a quick buck from the college kids. - DirectorDarren Lynn BousmanStarsRebecca De MornayJaime KingShawn AshmoreThe sadistic members of a villainous family return to their childhood home to terrorize the new home owners and their guests.The ratings for this on Amazon and IMDB completely boggle me. The film has only three things going for it: some known actors, decent violence, and a director with previous horror genre experience.
But, the film has a flimsy premise: Home invasion - 2 (increased to 4) vs. about 10 people.
They only reason the film "works" is because of a string of really bad decisions made by the protagonists. If I counted the escape opportunities, I'd probably run out of fingers and toes. - DirectorMark TonderaiStarsJennifer LawrenceElisabeth ShueMax ThieriotAfter moving with her mother to a small town, a teenager finds that an accident happened in the house at the end of the street. Things get more complicated when she befriends a boy. A double murder is not an accident.I really wanted to like this film, for no other reason than because I love Jennifer Lawrence, and Elizabeth Shue, and I would drink martinis made from their bathwater - especially if they'd been in the bath at the same time...
but, I digress...
It's a film that has the acting and production; it has pretty good tension, a twist, and then it starts into a tailspin and bombs, because of a double twist and poorly written antagonist. - DirectorM.J. BassettStarsAdelaide ClemensKit HaringtonSean BeanWhen her adoptive father disappears, Sharon Da Silva is drawn into a strange and terrifying alternate reality that holds answers to the horrific nightmares that have plagued her since childhood.Again with the 3D crap.
Adelaide Clemens is a doll, and I thought she was excellent as Heather, but this film is horribly paced. There's about zero emotional build-up.
The most obvious example is the relationship between Heather and Vincent, which goes from creepy stranger to soulmate, with little interaction throughout the film. And Sean Bean missed a perfect opportunity to say "One does not simply appear out of nowhere and date my daughter, mmmkay."
I recommend watching maybe up to the part where Heather and Vincent flee to avoid the cops - then, skip to the fight at the end, and, sure, watch the happy ending, but the rest isn't worth seeing. - DirectorJohn CarpenterStarsAmber HeardMamie GummerDanielle PanabakerAn institutionalized young woman becomes terrorized by a ghost.It's a shame to see one of the masters fall this low.
John Carpenter - just look at that resume.
It's a film about crazy, hot chicks being knocked off (not up), one by one, by a ghost. And then it has a surprise ending too...
It's very bland and predictable, maybe even a tad confusing, and there's not much character development. - DirectorJonathan LevineStarsAmber HeardAnson MountWhitney AbleA group of high-schoolers invite Mandy Lane, an innocent, desirable girl, to a weekend party on a secluded ranch. While the festivities rage on, the number of revelers begins to drop mysteriously.Ugh...this film had so much promise.
The beginning of the film is excellent, and somewhere in the middle, when you discover the killer, and especially when you find out why -- it gets pretty cheesy.
It really could have been so much better. - DirectorTi WestStarsSara PaxtonPat HealyKelly McGillisDuring the final days at the Yankee Pedlar Inn, two employees determined to reveal the hotel's haunted past begin to experience disturbing events as old guests check in for a stay.I decided to check this out, because of a list recommendation from some website, and because of Ti West, who wrote and directed The House of the Devil, and a V/H/S segment that enjoyed, but after looking at that link, I realize he's done more films I dislike.
This film gets points for style. It's a bit retro, but it's really slow paced, and it doesn't feel like it has a climax.
It's a ghost story, but there's little interaction with the ghosts - not much character development for anyone besides the main two characters.
It feels flat. - DirectorTravis ZariwnyStarsGage GolightlyMatthew DaddarioSamuel DavisWhile staying at a remote cabin for a week-long vacation, a group of five college friends succumb to an infectious, flesh-eating disease.Cabin Fever needed a remake, but it did not this.
I would have to write a full review to point out all the stupid in this film. It is master level stupid - no - grand master stupid.
Possibly the worst of all: The final bit of the film shows a girl checking her social media feed and discovering gross photos of earlier carnage in the film.
We're never told who this girl is - how those photos were taken - or what this has to do with the rest of the film!
If you watch this film, make sure your insurance covers putting your foot through the tv. - DirectorAgnieszka Wojtowicz-VoslooStarsChristina RicciLiam NeesonJustin LongAfter a car accident, a young woman caught between life and death meets a funeral director who claims to have the gift of transitioning the dead into the afterlife.What the hell...
Liam Neeson is wasted in this film, and so is Christina Ricci, but I could add two more of her films to this list (Bless the Child, and Cursed).
It's a film that's just - weird, a bit confusing, and it suffers from the same lack of intensity that hit films like The Innkeepers and We Are What We Are. - DirectorNeil LaButeStarsNicolas CageEllen BurstynLeelee SobieskiA sheriff investigating the disappearance of a young girl from a small island discovers there's a larger mystery to solve among the island's secretive, neo-pagan community.It's laughably bad. While the film has other flaws, the biggest issue is Nicholas Cage whose absurd acting murders whatever dark mood the film could've had.
Just do yourself a favor and watch the original. - DirectorJon WattsStarsAndy PowersLaura AllenPeter StormareA loving father finds a clown suit for his son's birthday party, only to realize that it's cursed.First, the timing: This film was announced in 2010, a few years after the Hostel series that made Roth a hit.
Then the pacing: There is absolutely no build. The film immediately starts with the discovery of the clown suit.
The film is terribly edited and post-processed. I felt like I was watching a reject from a film festival. - and, with the cast and four-year wait, I expected much more.- such a disappointment.
- DirectorAdam WingardStarsSharni VinsonJoe SwanbergAJ BowenWhen the Davison family comes under attack during their wedding anniversary getaway, the gang of mysterious killers soon learns that one of the victims harbors a secret talent for fighting back.It's meant to be comedy horror, and the bad-ass female lead is awesome...
But, I didn't think it was especially funny, or frightening. The balance is off, and the needle just danced in the middle, which left me feeling pretty apathetic at the end. - DirectorSean ByrneStarsXavier SamuelRobin McLeavyJohn BrumptonWhen Brent turns down his classmate Lola's invitation to the prom, she concocts a wildly violent plan for revenge.I think this film and Mother's Day are criminally overrated.
It has some neat little torture scenes, but I feel the film is seriously lacking in the story department. And, I think you can get away with a weak plot, if you tap some drama and add style, but I didn't feel much drama with this film.
I never felt much drama with this film, because of
the pacing: girl asks guy to prom, immediately decides to kidnap him for saying "no" because he has a girlfriend. (If you're going to stalk a guy know who he's dating ffs)
flip-flopping: The scene changing between the kidnapped guy and his friend who goes to prom with this girl he's been dying to date. It made me feel like I was watching two different films at the same time, and only one of them had a conclusion.
There were other things I disliked - bad escape attempts - but, those two were the most distracting. - DirectorSteven R. MonroeStarsJemma DallenderJoe AbsolomYavor BaharovWhen Katie innocently accepts an offer to have new photos taken for her portfolio, the experience quickly turns into a nightmare of rape, torture and kidnapping. Now, she will have to find the strength to exact her brutal revenge.This might have been a likable film, if the first film hadn't been so much better.
In the first film, the punishments were brutal, and they fit the crimes. This film also takes the story out of the woods and into the city, and it just doesn't work. It could have: city girl goes to the country, then a country girl goes to the city - I get it, but this film didn't have enough going for it to pull it off.
It's not a terrible film, but it drags the first film down, instead of building on it. - DirectorMathieu KassovitzStarsHalle BerryPenélope CruzRobert Downey Jr.A psychiatrist awakens as a patient in a mental institution, with no memory of the murder she's accused of committing. As she tries to regain her memory, a vengeful spirit manipulates her.This was back when Dark Castle Films was making a lot of gory, stylish horror. I think this was the point when I stopped paying attention to the company.
It has a lot of style, with the CGI, and Robert Downy Jr. plays his part nicely, but I think all that style and sheen glossed over what was a pretty interesting and disturbing story. - DirectorJim MickleStarsBill SageAmbyr ChildersJulia GarnerThe Parkers, a reclusive family who follow ancient customs, find their secret existence threatened as a torrential downpour moves into their area, forcing daughters Iris and Rose to assume responsibilities beyond those of a typical family.This is a slow burn with no bang.
First, there is no mystery about what they are - and that's what drew me to the film: "We Are What We Are" - wooaah, what are they!?
It's obvious very early, so that takes a lot of suspense from the film. And despite some great acting (from Bill Sage in particular), it really drags.
I stuck in to the end, hoping for something great, but it leaves loose ends.
It doesn't have much of a climax. It feels like it stops before it finishes...
(those were puns, by the way) - DirectorWes CravenStarsMax ThieriotJohn MagaroDenzel WhitakerA serial killer returns to his hometown to stalk seven children who share the same birthday as the date he was allegedly put to rest.You know -- it tried. Wes Craven tried.
The story is actually unique, and it's got a set of creepy and odd moments. The opening scenes, especially. - and, it has some brutal moments.
This film is what Insidious may have been, if it had been handled badly - because the idea of soul collecting is one that I don't think I've ever seen with teens and this outcome. But, the idea was too grand to be fumbled, and that's what happened. - DirectorRichard BrandesStarsRachel MinerMimi RogersLucy Rogers-CiaffaYoung Penny goes on a retreat with her psychologist; the intention is to help her overcome her phobia, an intense fear of cars. Unexpected events find her in a nightmarish situation where her worst fears come true.When the best actress in the film got killed early, I felt like I was a bait and switch victim.
It's already a film driving on fumes, since the premise is a little flimsy: Girl gets stuck in the woods, in a car - with a killer taunting her, or - trying to kill her, or both - for unknown reasons.
But, what really murders the film is the ending and the big reveal of the killer. - DirectorJohn ShibanStarsJaimie AlexanderMichael ChildersJennifer CormackThe film follows Nicole Carrow, a young woman who is threatened by a maniac serial killer, after her boyfriend Jess, is abducted in a rest stop.What I remember most about this film is yelling at the protagonist and vowing never to watch it again. Then the protagonist became Jaimie Alexander; so, that worked out well for her.
- DirectorJon HarrisStarsMichael J. ReynoldsShauna MacdonaldJessika WilliamsRefusing to believe her story about cave-dwelling monsters, the sole survivor of a spelunking exploration gone horribly wrong is forced to follow the authorities back into the caves where something awaits.The Descent is, by far, my most watched film of all time. I think it's a masterpiece.
It did not need a sequel that negates all the emotional sincerity of the first film!
A character that dies (dramatically) in the first film - is not dead (and they never explain how she survived overwhelming odds).
The most richly developed character in the film - dies in ridiculous fashion.
And then there's a little Lake Placid moment at the end that I can't even take seriously. - DirectorGore VerbinskiStarsDane DeHaanJason IsaacsMia GothAn ambitious young executive is sent to retrieve his company's CEO from an idyllic but mysterious "wellness center" at a remote location in the Swiss Alps, but soon suspects that the spa's treatments are not what they seem.Gore Verbinski does a fine job with the directing. There are plenty of creepy (and beautiful) visuals, but the script must've been crap.
Before I get to that: Was is really necessary to make this film over two hours?
The stupid script points include:
* The lead constantly makes threats while on crutches. Stop it. You can't even walk and you think you can fight a guy with more height and muscle than you.
* The lead leaves a girl with the mind of a child - in a bar with intoxicated men that are practically drooling at the sight of her.
* The lead evades people giving chase and decides to take a smoke break while hiding.
I could go on, but this film is not worth its IMDB rating. - DirectorJennifer KentStarsEssie DavisNoah WisemanDaniel HenshallA single mother and her child fall into a deep well of paranoia when an eerie children's book titled "Mister Babadook" manifests in their home.another film with great advertising but poor delivery, and I'm not even going to raise my blood pressure doing a rant on this one.
It seems like the writer(s) just made up a name and couldn't figure out what to make of the character - so, it became a combination of every idea.