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A woman attracts the attention of a psychopathic former Army interrogator and an emotionally fragile young man caring for his depressed mother.

A concert to celebrate Bulgaria joining the EU is being planned at the Embassy in London and it is the job of VARADIN, the new ambassador, to ensure the Queen attends. But with corrupt staff, criminal gangs operating out of the kitchen, falling in love with a stripper and a little misunderstanding with a PR firm that provides look-alike royalties - his simple task turns into a chaotic nightmare.

An aging British theatre director is forced to hire a young Hollywood action star to guarantee an audience for the Anton Chekhov play he is mounting.