“i am bella baxter. i am a flawed, experimenting person. i seek outings and adventures. bella’s so much to discover. and there is a world to enjoy, circumnavigate. it is the goal of all to progress, grow.” and “i am finding being alive fascinating.”

i love it when a movie makes me feel the wonder that comes with being alive, and here, and learning about my place in the world.

emma stone is hands down the frontrunner right now for me for best actress. she’s incredible here in her role as bella baxter, the frankestein’s monster-esque woman reborn and setting out to explore her place in the world as well as her own sexual awakening and challenging societal norms and male expectations of her.

stone is the perfect mixture of naive, hilarious, inquisitive, and melancholy as the world slowly opens up and reveals itself to her. from the opening scenes where she’s childlike and exploring her limits and the world around her to slowly becoming more confident in pushing those boundaries as she becomes a more fully formed and developed person, everything about her is mesmerizing.

the way in which the men in bella’s life hold dominion over her is such a well done narrative, as you can see that even when they seemingly come from a place of good, their desires for bella are ultimately there own. godwin took a woman who, displeased with her life and surroundings, took the only thing we should have control over and was stripped of it even in death. he can argue that his goals were noble in the pursuit of science, but his experimentation with bella’s body is wholly for his own ego. this is self evident in how he presents himself to bella as god, the creator.

max likewise falls in love with her simply for her beauty, even though he’s fully aware of her mental limitations at first. his love for her EVENTUALLY grows as a result of her own spiritual and mental growth, and that is admirable, but it’s rooted in a desire for her appearance at first.

wedderburn is the complete opposite. wedderburn (a fantastic comedic pairing to stone in the form of mark ruffalo) only wants her for her body, and has no qualms in introducing her to his hedonistic lifestyle. he promises her adventure and a chance to explore the world and the freedom to be herself, but becomes repulsed by her when she does just that. it’s the typical story of a man trying to fit a woman into the box he has designed for her, with no forethought to what the woman wants herself. he eventually becomes so infatuated with the idea and concept of her, and not the incredible woman that bella becomes.

jerrod carmichael’s harry astley is the type of man who’s own jaded worldview makes him the type of person who hurts others as a way of “enlightenment.” the way in which he exposed bella to the cruelties of life was definitely the most heartbreaking moment in the movie, and it felt like a betrayal. in that moment i completely empathized with bella even more than i had been to that point and felt maybe a fraction of what most women go through in their lifetime.

that bella’s full awakening comes at a point where she was living with and engaging with other women regularly wasn’t lost on me. i think it really speaks to how people can flourish and blossom when placed in environments that are comfortable and appeal to those wants and desires. it was heartwarming seeing bella learn about what she wanted and having the confidence to go get it.

margaret qualley and christoper abbott have smaller roles but i love them and i feel like they fit their roles perfectly. i audibly gasped terrified when i saw them come on screen and i was so glad to see them.

the score in this is fantastic and i really loved the set design and the costumes. lanthimos has a great use of color in this one. i was particularly impressed by how the color is black and white in the beginning portion, as it denotes the confines of bella’s life pre-exploration. once she makes it out into the world, the colors are bright and gorgeous and vivid, and i think that’s my favorite thing that this movie has to say.

the world is a scary place. it’s ugly, and things aren’t fair, and it’s not as nick and white as we would like it to be. but there’s something out there worth fighting for, something out there worth exploring despite the pain and sadness and general loss. i think that’s really gorgeous and awe inspiring in itself.

we should all aspire to be our own bella baxters.