If you can't love me at my [vomiting gaseous bubbles], you can't have me at my "HARK! Triton, hark! Yer fond of me lobster, ain't ye?".

"Stop talking, as your sounds make Bella angry." - Bella Baxter

2023 was a historic year for female representation in film, television, and pop culture.

Whether it was live events like "the tours", empowering performances on screen, or genuinely beautiful stories never told before in entertainment, 2023 was a year unlike any other for women. For every Taylor Swift reference, there were projects like 'Every Body' which explores unspoken subject matters about sexuality, biology, and the desire for acceptance.

This summer we saw one of the most impactful cultural moments this turn of the century. "Barbenheimer" saw fans alike join forces to support two films on opposite ends of tone, subject matter, and themes.

'Barbie' was THE moment of 2023 and Greta Gerwig's thoughtful & profound take on a beloved icon turned what could have been a half-baked film into one of the best of 2023. It was a deep exploration of gender roles, inequality, and the anxiety of "being everything" when the truth is that you don't have to do "anything".

If 'Barbie' were a vinyl record, it would be "side A", which means that 'Poor Things' is "side B".

'Barbie' is about discovering your self-worth.

'Poor Things' is about exploring what your self-worth means.

"We must experience everything, not just the good, but degradation. Horror. Sadness. Then we can know the world. And when we know the world, the world is ours. This makes us whole." - Swiney

Yorgos Lanthimos' twisted & hilarious reinvention of 'The Bride of Frankenstein' is as profound as Guillermo del Toro's 'The Shape of Water'. Both share a connective thread to their Universal Classic Monsters but are original spinoffs that bring humanity to the surface by being character studies.

Bella Baxter is an allegory for women's plight for simply existing. A blank canvas whose story hasn't been written yet but is frequently tampered with by men who seek to control her.

Once free from the shackles of conformity, Bella explores the world as she sees fit, unafraid to ask deeper questions or seek new adventures with her body, mind, & spirit.

With each & every memory, Bella begins to understand the cruelty of life while also falling in love with...well...living.

'Poor Things' sees Bella questioning what it is to be alive, to be a woman, and to know what self-worth equates to.

Freedom.

"We are all cruel beasts." - Harry Astley

Among all things in life, "romance" is a hardship humans have endured since the dawn of time.

Now imagine being Bella Baxter, a reanimated being previously braindead who is now learning how to live again. Romance is hard enough as it is, so this story explores unspoken themes of expectations, control, resentment, and emotional desire.

Whether it be monogamy, polygamy, or something without labels, romance is constant & ever-troubling. Because no matter the case, taking into account other people's feelings is key.

The deeper 'Poor Things' explores these themes, Bella experiences all sorts of romance, whether it is fleeting, spontaneous, meaningless, or tragic.

And tying back to the themes of 'Barbie', Bella encounters misogyny in all sorts of ways while also understanding what liberation, privilege, and "love" are too.

But to be a sex-positive woman is not easy. Because no matter how hard you try, some people simply want to constrain what you are to meet their expectations.

Much like a sailor snapping the neck of a beautiful swan, Bella forgoes her imprisonment by men to be who she truly is without care.

A woman.

"We are our own means of production." - Bella Baxter

'Poor Things' managed to defy my expectations and showcase profound conversation pieces with humor, whimsy, and lots of cringe-worthy splendor.

Although I don't want to get too deep with this, I really appreciate how this film is a takedown of the morally awful "lolita" stereotype in entertainment. Hollywood has been obsessed with this "idea", whether it's 'The Fifth Element' or 'The Boys', this type of character has been fetishized to the point it's a staple in "anime". 'Poor Things' basically reframes this stereotype and shames those who find this "aTtRaCtIvE". Good on you, Yorgos Lanthimos.

The production design is practically a shoo-in for the technical awards. Every aspect of this film is intricate, beautiful, and unique. Whether it's the sets, the outfits, and the funny little animals running around, everything is twisted & gorgeous.

This also might be the first time I've actually loved the use of a fish-eye lens. 'Poor Things' exists within a fantasy-like world and the usage of a fish-eye lens is thematically in line with its storytelling and not just a "it looks cool" gimmick. Absolutely genius.

Emma Stone's comedic expertise shines throughout but the smaller moments are where her performance transcends the film's audacious insanity. This is a tough year for Best Actress and while I am a very vocal supporter of Lily Gladstone, Emma continues to prove time & time again, she is one of the very best of her generation.

Mark Ruffalo is magnificent. While his character is deliciously evil, Mark plays him as cartoonish as Daffy Duck and his comedic timing is god-tier funny.

Willem Dafoe is as lovable as always and I love the choice to make his character resemble Frankenstein's Monster despite Bella being the "experiment". It makes for a fun twist while also highlighting how Godwin Baxter is NOT a mad scientist, but a vulnerable strict father. While twisted, this was such an original & wholesome spin on a tired archetype.

Ramy Youssef is charming as hell and Yorgos Lanthimos uses Ramy's adorable aura to emphasize his character's story to perfect degrees.

Jerrod Carmichael & Hanna Schygulla have short scenes but they are unbelievably impactful. Some of my favorite moments were the conversations they shared with Bella.

Suza Bemba & Kathryn Hunter add some levity in some surprising & funny ways but I won't spoil the other two actors' surprise appearances because "holy hell", they were funny, tragic, and extremely messed up.

'Poor Things' might be the most intelligent & batshit insane film of 2023. Getting to see this in theaters is a privilege.

Seeing a Rooster bark like a dog IS CINEMA.