A few weeks ago an 8 year old nephew asked me if I could buy him a backpack, I did, as I hand it over to him I notice the characters and say “cute, what’re their names? do they sing?” and he responds enthusiastically with their names followed by “…but they’re actually the souls of dead children the yellow rabbit killed, their bodies are inside…” he said more but I was already far gone, I was about to open my mouth to explain my huge fuck up to his parents but they were already familiar with the story and entire lore of Five Nights at Freddy’s, which is apparently a game and now, well a movie rated PG-13 starring my second favorite child of hunger, cause why the fuck not? Also just received an invitation to aforementioned nephew’s 9th birthday party with these murdered kid hybrids telling me to “Come celebrate…!” So yeah, I went into this movie blindly as a means to understand whatever the fuck an 8 year old was trying to explain to me once and bond over, well, what are essentially dead children.