I've waited so long for this day. There is no film like Megalopolis. There will never be another film like Megalopolis. The things that make it unique are both equally good and bad, it has terrible baggage in the way that only an act of complete and utter hubris would. But like I've come to expect from Francis Ford Coppola, it is completely unapologetic, in the ways it should be and in the ways that it should not. It's a mess, but it's a beautiful mess. It's raw and honest and blemished, you can't take your eyes off of it, you will look upon its sheer absurdity and... well, it doesn't seem like anyone has made up their minds on how to feel about it. But I took a long look at it and I smiled throughout, I laughed nonstop, I couldn't believe what I'd seen, and I wanted to see it again the moment it ended. I walked out of the screening laughing, hard and loud, entirely out of dumbfounded disbelief. I was grateful for the experience.

To enjoy Megalopolis, you have to throw out certain notions that you have about it. It's not a story, and despite what the movie wants you to think, it's not a fable, either. Megalopolis is an idea, and a messy one at that. It's a disjointed series of ideas, things that Coppola has thought about at least a little bit over the last 40 years (though the political commentary is all EXTREMELY recent), mashed together and barely held up. The plot falls apart under the slightest scrutiny, a new theme is thrown your way every five minutes. Things are always just happening, but nothing matters, either. The only truly consistent takeaway is how Coppola sees himself in Cesar: a genius and an artist in a world that doesn't understand him, who knows in his heart that one day they'll finally get it. Me personally, I don't know what he is, but he is, if nothing else, absolutely confident. Megalopolis is hubris as a movie, and I think it's kind of... beautiful, actually. It has so much to say, but it's like listening to an old man's long, rambling story. It would be terrible if that old man was a stranger you were stuck in a bar with, but if that old man was your grandad and you're listening to him by the fire in the comfort of his home, in a place you've known all your life, suddenly you don't mind it so much. I felt at ease here, just me and the movie and the IMAX screen. Adam Driver's character talks about having a dialogue a lot, and this movie is, if nothing else, trying to have a conversation with you. Or, it's trying to have- *sigh* a great debate about the future. How well a movie can really do that requires even further discussion, but I was willing to listen. And I don't know if I liked what I heard because it was good or because it was funny, but I listened throughout, and now I know that long, rambling story. I'll keep it in my heart.
Now, I get the people who don't like this. I don't think any less of the people who don't like it (except the person I just saw who said that this was worse than Jack, fuck you). Megalopolis is so confident in itself as a movie, but it leaves the impression of being confused because of how outright hilarious it is. This movie is funny on purpose, make no mistake about it. Anyone trying to frame this as an accidental comedy isn't getting it, at least in that sense. It's basically a comedy-drama, but that descriptor happened by accident because Francis mistakenly wrote too much comedy into his drama. It's a genre mistake. The plot is just about coherent until about halfway in (though it was barely holding itself together to begin with), where it completely loses all steam and goes all over the place, which disappoints me a bit. The direction is on crack, as it should be, honestly. That's the best way I could describe it, no exaggeration this time. And the performances are also seemingly confused, but not necessarily in a bad way. It feels intentional in some way I don't understand. All of the secondary characters are really fucking funny in their own ways. Look for one of my favourite actors in the background of scenes in which he appears, and you won't be disappointed! (Jason Schwartzman has a meta-commentary character arc as the iconic Jason Zanderz (and that's a clue to what it is, actually) that no one has picked up on except for me, but when it clicked, it felt like the only definitive, unflawed moment of thematic genius in the whole movie. People will get it, eventually. I'll be waiting.)

Back to the point, I guess. I don't really know what Megalopolis is. I saw other people struggling to rate it and foolishly thought "ha, that won't be me," but I too am not so sure. This might go up or down, I don't know yet. I intend to see it again. In spite of its horrific flaws, I was along for the ride the entire time. I liked it. I really liked it. I can't believe it was real, watching Francis Ford Coppola go out in a blaze of... glory? But I don't know if that's the right word. It certainly turned my head. There's so much that this film has to say that I'll have to try figure out another time, it's all so much for me to process right now. Too much. It's fundamentally flawed in a way that hampers everything it says and does, but it's brought down by pure idealism rather than anything malicious, I think. It's an insightful portrait into an artist in none of the ways it intends to be. It's absolutely fascinating in a way that no film has ever been before. I totally respect it for everything it is, even if it's not enough.

I think it's a flawed masterpiece. People will think I'm wrong, and I've been wrong before, but I don't really care. I'm not going to let the now destroy the forever. Megalopolis forever.