This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

Time is fleeting and we're all gonna die, but smile because you just watched Andrew Garfield and Florence Pugh get it on.

I need to know what kind of sorcery was keeping Elphaba’s micro braids intact for the whole movie.

Joker makeup, voice, and nurse outfit stay on during sex.

It's my 20th birthday, so I get to pick the movie! (killed the vibe, and now I'm sad and scared)

It’s like Alien, but it doesn’t have Sigourney Weaver wearing a tank top in it, so it’s not as good.

Emailing my professors that I need a "mental health day" after watching this movie, because l've seriously never been sadder.

This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

We, as a society, have got to start putting the depiction of Moonee in the conversation of S-tier child acting performances.

Pussy so crazy I call it Pussession.

Planting the wrong kind of seed in the soil.

Maybe the reason why Michael Myers breathes so hard is because he’s running off screen.