started: 1/1/2021
any/all | 25
5*: changed the game for me
.5*: beneath critical analysis; repugnant wastes of time
Favorite films
Recent activity
AllRecent reviews
More-
The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies 2014
absolutely fuck off lmao no way this piece of recycled air exists
-
The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug 2013
man I didn't even like this one at the time. trilogying the hobbit is one of the most baffling decisions ever made, my sympathies for peter jackson having to shoulder this exec decision
Popular reviews
More-
Barbie 2023
a smug fucking nothing of a movie.
(EDIT: I talk about TERFy vibes and have been told that there's a trans barbie in the movie; this actually makes me respect the movie and greta gerwig less, because ignorance would be a better explanation than pure blindness as to how obnoxiously cishet this movie is. thank you for your time)
i'm honestly less mad at what, excepting the most charitable readings of a movie that is fundamentally a toy commercial, are…
-
The Substance 2024
one of the most profoundly idiotic films I've seen. absolutely no excuse for this plot to be over 90 mins; the film ended about four different times.
the thing with gender-swapping the picture of dorian grey is that men in the 19th century do not in fact face the same pressures as modern women, let alone women in the entertainment industry; as such, the tale of personal vice that is genuinely cutting in Wilde's hands becomes blatant misogyny here. if…
