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Condorman

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Condorman is a 1981 adventure/comedy superhero film from Walt Disney Productions. Inspired by Robert Sheckley's The Game of X, the movie follows comic book illustrator Woodrow Wilkin's attempts to assist in the defection of a female Soviet KGB agent.

Woody Wilkins

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  • Who can save Princess Juliet - held captive by the evil Count Lorca? Who can save the city? Who? [pauses to put on goggles; in a deeper voice] Who... this is a job - for CONDORMAN!
  • Condorman - vulture of the Western world. [takes drink, looks surprised, spews jet of flame]
  • [after accidentally firing his machine-gun walking stick] That's a hair-trigger!

Krokov

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  • Have you seen this report on this Condorman? Or this man Wilkins? He is an AMATEUR, do you hear? He is NOT an agent of the CIA! He is a WRITER OF COMIC BOOKS!

Harry Oslo

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  • [as Condorman drops into the Seine] Flap, Woody! Flap!
  • Woody, you're a great cartoonist, and you're a great comic book writer - but you're a lousy bird.

Dialogue

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Turkish waiter: Your order, sir?
Woody Wilkins: [indicates Natlia's drink] I'll have one of those.
Turkish waiter: One Istanbul Express.
Woody Wilkins: Yes. A double.
Turkish waiter: [surprised] A double? Nobody orders the double, sir!
Woody Wilkins: Okay. Make it a triple.
Woody Wilkins: [sitting up in the snow after falling from a cable broken by the KGB] I think they're gone! We can move now!
Harry Oslo: I... may... never... move... again.
[collapses into snow]
Natalia: [Natalia has just discovered that Woody is not a real agent] Harry, who are you?
Harry Oslo: Huh?
Natalia: [holds up one of Woody's comic books] Woody is Condorman, I am Laser Lady! Who are you?
Harry Oslo: [looking resigned] How'd ya find out?
Natalia: [indicating the gaggle of children around her] The children here read comic books, too.
Harry Oslo: [sighs] Let's take a walk.
Woody Wilkins: Rupel for your thoughts...
[puts arm around Natalia]
Natalia: [puts her arm around Woody] When I parted from Krokov, I promised myself I would never love again... a man of deception. But now I know there is deception, and deception...
Woody Wilkins: I don't understand...
Natalia: But I do. [smiles] When I go to America, and reading the Sunday funnies, and eating my Big Mac, and planning for the senior prom...
Woody Wilkins: [interrupts] You may have missed the prom...
Natalia: ...I would like it very much, if I could pick up my American telephone, call my friend Woody, and say... come over and be *diplomatic* with me.
[smiles coyly]
Woody Wilkins: I'll bring the dip, if you bring the dostoevsky.
Natalia: [looks at Woody, confused]
Woody Wilkins: That's a yes.
Krokov: [turns on the lamp] Hello, Natalia. Welcome home.
Natalia: Sergei. I didn't expect you.
Krokov: I'm sure you didn't, my dear. Nor did I expect you to travel to Istanbul to meet our American friend.
Natalia: As I was going to tell you about. The meeting was supposed to be a civilian operation, eh? They sent a *top* agent. He was good.
[steps behind the dressing screen to change clothes]
Natalia: Very smooth. And very tough. Almost as tough as you, Sergei.
Krokov: And his name? Surely, when you were finding out how... tough... and how smooth he was, you found out his name?
Natalia: He called himself Condorman.
Krokov: Condorman? Quaint. But he is good. The way he handled those tree turks was impressive. But, you were stupid to be seen by a Chinese agent. And I cannot afford costly mistakes. Oh, my dear Natalia, that is why I have changed my mind about talking you with me to Monte Carlo. You need to be... re-educated, on the, teachings, of our masters.

Cast

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