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GA Review

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This review is transcluded from Talk:2014 Canadian Grand Prix/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Reviewer: MrLinkinPark333 (talk · contribs) 02:21, 8 January 2020 (UTC)[reply]


Hello. I was keeping an eye on this nomination. As the previous review was deleted, I would like to review this article. Please note that I have not reviewed a F1 race before at GA, so I might make some mistakes. If there is any issues in regards to terminology/sourcing please let me know! It'll help me out if I choose to review F1 races in the future. If you have any comments/concerns, feel free to ping me here in this review. I'll be breaking this article up into sections as it's long and there's no way I can do it all in one session and not burn myself out.

Lead checkY

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Infobox

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Background

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P1 checkY

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P2 checkY

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P3 checkY

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P4 checkY

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  • "In technical developments, Mercedes installed fins and turning vanes...less drag to the inside of the front wheel." - I suggest two sentences for grammar.checkY
  • "Toro Rosso manufactured new exhaust systems" - close paraphrasing. If "manufactured" was reworded, this'll pass limited wording as the rest can't be changed.checkY
  • "Williams mounted a duct over the top of its brake discs" - yep, and this is specifically for their FW36. As you've mentioned the specifc engines before for other manufactuers, I think this one should be added too for consistency.checkY
  • "and featured longer sidepods to better cool the F14 T and removed downforce." - this needs a grammar tweak as it has "and" twice.checkY
  • "McLaren used a rear suspension element to improve the diffuser's performance." - McLaren didn't improve the diffuser's performance. They used one rear suspension blocker instead of two in the practice.
    • per the Williams suggestion, I suggestion stating McLaren used it for the MP4-29.checkY

--MrLinkinPark333 (talk) 02:23, 9 January 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Practice

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P1 checkY

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P2 checkY

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P3 checkY

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  • "Hamilton used the soft compound tyres" - not in the June 7th source BBC source.checkY

an archived source which does confirm it. You can cite this one or another source to verify it.checkY

--MrLinkinPark333 (talk) 01:54, 11 January 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Qualifying

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P1 checkY

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  • "Saturday afternoon's qualifying session was divided into three parts." - source needed to show they were on Saturday.checkY
  • "The first part ran for 18 minutes, eliminating cars that finished the session 17th or below." - Yes. However, a source needs to be added to show that there were 22 drivers instead of the usual 24 drivers. Then the subsequent eliminations would make sense per FIA regulations.checkY
  • Up to you if you want to mention how many minutes the third session was as the article mentions how long both Q1 and Q2 were.checkY
  • "The final session determined pole position to tenth." - FIA doesn't have Q3 determining the positions, just that the ten drivers would be in Q3.checkY
  • "The weather conditions were sunny and hot" - no mention of "and hot" in Associated Press, so I suggest dropping this minor point.checkY
  • "Hamilton who was 0.079 seconds slower after driver errors at turns six and eight and slower traffic delayed him" - no mention of "driver errors at turns six and eight". Rest of the sentence is verified.checkY
  • "Vettel adjusted his driving style to take more risks and qualified third." - I don't see any adjustment of driving style nor taking risks in Sky Sports.checkY
  • "Bottas in the faster Williams car could not improve his best time due to traffic that compromised his front tyre warming, restricting him to fourth" - Crash doesn't have Bottas trying to improve his best time.checkY
  • "His teammate Massa had a fluctuating front-left brake temperature" - I don't think it was "fluctuating" so I suggest removing this specific word only.checkY
  • "Sixth-placed Ricciardo lost time by going too quickly on the super soft compound tyre." - Sorta. I think he was losing control of the super soft compound tyres while trying to recover the lost time.information Note: - see below

--MrLinkinPark333 (talk) 20:08, 12 January 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Extra sources

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P2 checkY

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Post qualifying checkY }

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Qualifying classification checkY

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Additional points checkY

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--MrLinkinPark333 (talk) 21:17, 9 January 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Race

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P1 checkY

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--MrLinkinPark333 (talk) 01:25, 14 January 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Extra item that's won't effect the GA review

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P2 checkY

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P3 checkY

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P3 Extra stuffcheckY

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After double checking the prose from Massa pit stop onwards, I've noticed a few things:

P4 checkY

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  • "During the 23rd lap, a loss of rear car control put Vettel wide during an attempted pass on Hülkenberg for fourth at the L'Epingle hairpin" - not mentioned by Motor Sport.information Note: see below.

--MrLinkinPark333 (talk) 20:37, 21 January 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Extra stuff P4checkY

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  • "As Hamilton slipstreamed Rosberg on the main straight a lap later" -> "As Hamilton slipstreamed Rosberg on the main straight that lap" (as the sentence before that now shows Kobayashi retired lap 25).checkY
  • "less than a second behind Rosberg on lap 28 and had DRS available." -> "less than a second behind Rosberg on lap 28 and had DRS available the following lap." (per GPUpdate)checkY

P5 checkY

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--MrLinkinPark333 (talk) 21:17, 14 January 2020 (UTC)[reply]

P6 checkY

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--MrLinkinPark333 (talk) 22:23, 14 January 2020 (UTC)[reply]

P6 more checkY

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P7 checkY

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P8 checkY

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  • "Gutiérrez retired with an energy storage system failure on the 67th lap" - while Autosport does say he pitted with four laps remaining, it doesn't say he retired that lap. ESPN does verify the reason why he retired.checkY
  • "Ricciardo lowered Rosberg's lead to seven-tenths of a second over the next two laps." - true, but this would need to be put at the start of the paragraph, since this was from 66-67.information Note: see below.
  • "On the approach to the turn 13 and 14 chicane on lap 68," -> " On the approach to the back straight on lap 68,"information Note: see below.
  • "to overtake him for third at the end of the Casino Straight" -> " to overtake him for third at the end of the back straight"checkY
  • "Pérez was slower on the start/finish straight from having an untidy exit out of the final corner." -> Pérez was slow on the straight from having an untidy exit out of the final corner.checkY
  • "He went slightly to his left as Massa steered left in anticipation of holding the former to the right entering the first turn" - bit wordy and i think a tiny bit inaccurate. Massa used the inside lane and Pérez steered slightly left. Then Massa began to steer right to hold Pérez to the right entering the first turn.information Note: see below
  • "braked 10 m (33 ft) earlier than on the lap before." - don't think this is needed as this part came up after the steward's decision into the accident.checkY
  • In doing so, Massa's front right tyre and the back of Pérez's left-rear wheel collided" - new source to show this happened at lap 69.

"which caused both drivers to career out of control." -> "which caused both drivers to careen out of control."information Note: see below.

Post-race

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P1 checkY

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P2 checkY

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P3 checkY

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P4 checkY

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P5 checkY

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--MrLinkinPark333 (talk) 03:58, 15 January 2020 (UTC)[reply]

P6 checkY

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Race classification checkY

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Championship standings after the race checkY

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Picture licensing/captions checkY

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Recap of what's left

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This section will hopefully make it easier to know what's left to do in individual sections, especially if it's just one item left. I'll check them off/comment in the above sections. This spot is just a reminder:

  • Background P1: Either a source is needed to verify that yellow soft is "prime" and red supersoft is "option". Otherwise, both "prime" and "option" should be drop with an adjustment of refs.
  • Practice P1: 1) Exit needs to be dropped for Bianchi's collision with the wall, 2) pluralizing wheels for Hulkenberg's spin in the grass.
  • Practice P2: Either summarizing the ESPN source to avoid capitalizing Pit Lane or swapping source to match capitalizing of Pit Lane for Ricciardo's reprimand.
  • Practice P3: Reduce wordiness of the Esteban Gutiérrez redflagged sentence.

--MrLinkinPark333 (talk) 22:12, 11 January 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Overall

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@MWright96: Overall, this was a long article for me to review lol. In terms of criteria: has list of references, main aspects are covered, is stable, image licenses are fine, As for what needs to be adressed: minor points are some grammar, one source in particular needed to be swapped out (Bleacher Report) which you did, some unnecessary details are included (like the Sky Sports commentator being a former world champion), some words needed to be swapped out for neturality like "battle", a few of a captions need to be updated. Major points are with sources either not verifying any of the statement and require either source swapping or adjusted to match what the source states. Alternatively, some phrasing needed to be swapped in order to match the terminology of the sources (like straight instead of Casino Straight and hairpin instead of L'Epingle hairpin) I'll have to double check for words to watch and copyvio. As you've gone through a lot of it already, plus I have to recheck the ones you have done before this overall review, I'll put this on hold for a week then recheck your progress. --MrLinkinPark333 (talk) 19:54, 15 January 2020 (UTC)[reply]

@MWright96: As you can tell, I'm not finishing reviewing your inital edits to the race paragraphs. Eventually, when I'm finished I'll make a updated summarized list of what needs to be done. --MrLinkinPark333 (talk) 20:24, 23 January 2020 (UTC)[reply]
@MWright96: As of now, there's some assorted stuff leftover from Race paragraphs P6-P8. You might have noticed that I haven't been reviewing as much as before. I've been getting tired of GA reviewing overall, but this is none of your fault. I'll most likely take a break from reviewing after finishing my already open ones. Also, I haven't been on Wikipedia as much this week partially to my work schedule, but also because I've been spending less time on Wikipedia with my spare time this week as well. However, my next week's schedule will provide me with more spare time than now. With the amount of stuff that's left over, I think this could be finished very quickly. P.S. you might have seen that this article is still marked as on review. Technically, it should be on hold as I was reviewing your initial edits on Jan 15th but I forgot to change it over. Therefore, it's been 2 weeks since it would have been on hold. --MrLinkinPark333 (talk) 03:55, 1 February 2020 (UTC)[reply]
You're all set now @MWright96:. I'll definitely will be taking a break from future GA reviews due to the time these reviews take. Well done for another GA article! --MrLinkinPark333 (talk) 02:01, 7 February 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Recap of what's left Part 2

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  • Qualifying P1: I think Ricciardo's sixth place qualification needs additional rewording.
  • P3 Race: Sorcing issue with Massa's front-left wheel gun failure at lap 13 as current sources don't have all of the info.checkY Minor typo of Rosberg's name at the kurb incidient at lap 19.checkY Note: If you do find soruces that don't contradict with each other in terms of Massa's wheel gun failure at lap 13, let me know if you've put it back in with sources. --MrLinkinPark333 (talk) 02:48, 26 January 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • P4 Race: Perez was 10th after he made his pit stop at lap 35, not 11th.checkY
  • P7 Race: Question about "stay the line" and no mention about Virage Senna for Riccardido's pass for 2nd at lap 66.
  • P8 Race: 1) Bit more summary needed to avoid word order for Massa/Pérez's collision with the Motor Sport source. 2) Extra source needed to show Massa/Pérez careened out of control after their collision. 3) (Doesn't effect review) a website linked to this review so i can verify the conversion between g force to mph.