User:Talrias
 | Talrias is taking a short wikibreak and will be back on Wikipedia soon. |
Template:User-warning-mentalhealth I'm gone. Good bye!
This was once Talrias' user page; it is now a vigil to his past sanity.
Anyone who wants Talrias' sanity to return, please sign below this line.
- --Durin 02:28, 15 April 2006 (UTC)
- jacoplane 02:35, 15 April 2006 (UTC)
- --Joolz 03:59, 15 April 2006 (UTC)
- —Nightstallion (?) Seen this already? 13:13, 25 April 2006 (UTC)
- -- The ed17 19:24, 28 April 2006 (UTC) (talk)
- Oppose, Wikipedia needs more insane drama queens -- sannse (talk) 07:52, 15 April 2006 (UTC)
- SushiGeek 23:48, 29 May 2006 (UTC)
- Brookie :) - a will o' the wisp ! (Whisper...) 07:18, 8 June 2006 (UTC)
Update: Talrias is on tour!
FLASH: Breaking news just in. The rumours of Talrias' mental health issues may have been greatly exaggerated. The recent inactivity of Talrias was investigated by a herd of furry rodents. Their startling conclusion is that Talrias has gone on tour. A promotional photo from the tour showing Talrias performing at the Royal Opera House was released by his manager and is shown at right. When asked when he might return to Wikipedia, he replied "Oh I don't know, I'm having too much fun!". More news as it happens.
NEWS FLASH! Riots at Covent Garden
Fears grew today for Talrias' safety as riots broke out at his latest sell-out concert. Fans shouted "get 'em off" and "we want legs" as Talaris recklessly refused to sing "Ain't No Mountain High Enough" to the packed crowd. Attempts to find Talrias after the concert were fruitless. A police spokesman made a plea for him to get in touch. "we just want to know you are safe" he said "just phone us. We don't care about the aubergine".
Talrias falls, body not recovered
London (21 April 2006) - Talrias' attempt at fulfilling a life long dream ended in tragedy today. Taking a break from his tour, Talrias dressed in his finest glam outfit and ascended to the heights of Tower Bridge. Before beginning his climb, he was quoted as saying "All my life I've wanted to dress in drag and sing ABBA's 'Waterloo' from the top of Tower Bridge. Now's my chance! It's only one life, and you've got to live it!". Sadly, those last words from him proved to be perhaps a prescient foreshadowing of events to come.
Within a minute or so of the beginning of his performance, observers noted that Talrias appeared to stumble a bit and swing to his right. Very shortly thereafter he fell hard on the railing upon which he was performing and then fell to what appears to have been his death, looking as one observer called it "Like a shooting blue star. It was so poetic! I felt like I was watching something in slow motion, with the beautiful dress billowing out around him. All the birds were envious!". Another passerby noted "Just what London needs, a soak for a bloke in a cloak". He was immediately mobbed by angry fans and his fate is unknown.
Rescue crews, which had been scouring the city for days looking for Talrias rushed to the scene. Dive and boat crews have been searching and dragging the river trying to find Talrias, but so far all efforts have been fruitless.
Memorial services have been planned but at this time the location is being kept secret. Rumors have been flying that the service may be held at St Paul's Cathedral as it would be able to hold the thousands of mourners certain to attend. Still, others have said any such service is premature until Talrias' body has been found.
LATE UPDATE
A blue high heeled shoe was found washed up on the shore of Bermondsey in Southwark. Fans rushed the scene where the shoe was found proclaiming it was a sign from their saviour. Our on scene reporter interviewed one fan who said, "It is a sign! He has given us...his shoe! We must gather shoes together in abundance that we might be holy unto him and proceed forth with his words of wisdom and salvation!". Investigators calmly noted that the heel of the shoe was broken, which may indicate what precipitated Talrias' terrible fall.
Breaking News - Talrias Alive!
Fans and foes alike wept at the news today that Talrias had been found safe and well on the shores of the River Thames. It seems that his flowing robes trapped enough air on the downwards fall to slow his descent. The air-filled gown then acted as a float keeping his head above water. It's thought that he was knocked unconscious by the fall and floated downstream as far as Greenwich Naval College. There, he was pulled ashore by the collective magnetic attraction of 200 sailors. Despite being even wetter than usual, Talrias is thought to have escaped unharmed from the river. Unfortunately, he may not have escaped completely unharmed from the sailors.
Despite his frail state, it seems that Talrias has agreed to return the many favours he received from the sailors by restarting his world tour of London with a concert on the Cutty Sark. It's thought that this could lead to futher onboard concerts to raise the ... umm... morale of lonely sailors everywhere.