Talk:Oregon Senate Bill 577: Difference between revisions

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The current collaborations of the month are Women's History Month: Create or improve articles for women listed at Oregon Women of Achievement (modern) or Women of the West, Oregon chapter (historical).

Wikipedia articles usually start with a definition of the subject of the article. Something like, "Oregon State Bill 557 is a bill put forth in Oregon in such and such year by this person/committee. Also, it would make your article less cluttered if you paraphrased more instead of quoting your sources. Lastly you don't have to cite your sources with parentheses since Wikipedia already has an in-text citation function. 22Owen22 (talk) 08:03, 7 March 2020 (UTC)[reply]

A reminder that the assignment guidelines wanted three linkes to other Wikipedia articles, and you can do that by highlighting a section and clicking cite up top. Your content seems to be all there, but the sentence explaining that the bill was about hate crimes was several sentences in, and for clarity you might move that closer to the beginning of the article. Resa1234 (talk) 08:14, 7 March 2020 (UTC)[reply]

More feedback

I agree that this article should have a better lead section. There are a few citations that point to Wikipedia articles; these should be replaced with more reliable sources. It would also be interesting to include more about the process of creating and passing the bill. For example, despite its wide support, the bill did not pass due to getting lost in the Ways and Means committee. Otherwise, very good start! -- Sandbergja (talk) 19:50, 8 March 2020 (UTC)[reply]

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 A reminder that the assignment guidelines wanted three linkes to other Wikipedia articles, and you can do that by highlighting a section and clicking cite up top. Your content seems to be all there, but the sentence explaining that the bill was about hate crimes was several sentences in, and for clarity you might move that closer to the beginning of the article. [[User:Resa1234|Resa1234]] ([[User talk:Resa1234|talk]]) 08:14, 7 March 2020 (UTC)
+== More feedback ==
+I agree that this article should have a better [https://ask.wikiedu.org/question/745/what-is-a-lead-section/ lead section].  There are a few citations that point to Wikipedia articles; these should be replaced with more reliable sources.  It would also be interesting to include more about the process of creating and passing the bill.  For example, despite its wide support, the bill [https://www.wweek.com/news/state/2019/05/30/oregon-hate-crime-reform-bill-hits-a-stumbling-block-in-salem/|almost did not pass due to getting lost in the Ways and Means committee].  Otherwise, very good start! -- [[User:Sandbergja|Sandbergja]] ([[User talk:Sandbergja|talk]]) 19:50, 8 March 2020 (UTC)