Talk:José María Gil Tamayo/GA1

GA Review

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Nominator: The Blue Rider (talk · contribs) 11:07, 30 April 2024 (UTC)

Reviewer: SnowFire (talk · contribs) 04:13, 30 June 2024 (UTC)

• Hello. See that this one has been sitting in the GAN backlog for awhile, so I'll give it a shot. As a slight warning, my Spanish is a tad rusty and there's clearly a lot of Spanish in the references to read, but hopefully it'll be okay. SnowFire (talk) 04:13, 30 June 2024 (UTC)

As a general comment: I'm a little worried that a lot of the sources to this article seem to be basically Church press releases, or based on them. I get that by its nature, a lot of information is going to be coming from the official source, but I'm hoping that there will be some independent, secondary sources here as well. (For example, a lot of the referenced articles after he was appointed Archbishop of Granada appear to be quoting the exact same source, down to identical phrasings. In these cases, the reference count can be misleading, because it's just an echo chamber of reposts.) I'm also seeing some very direct quotes of the sources, which is okay sometimes when there's just factual data you're reporting, but watch out for close paraphrasing, which can happen even in translation.

Also, usual proviso that you should feel free to push back on prose comments - these are suggestions, not demands.

• after his ordination, he did pastoral work in rural villages and delivered lectures in Latin America and the Caribbean

Are these lectures really so important as to qualify for the lede? This source dedicates a mere sentence fragment to "ha dictado conferencias en Puerto Rico," as do sources copying it like [1] and [2]. If they were important, which source covers them?

• Gil's sacerdotal ordination was on 7 September 1980; he was incardinated in the Archdiocese of Mérida–Badajoz by Antonio Montero Moreno.

You'll have to forgive me if these terms are better known among English-speaking Catholics, but they're pretty unfamiliar to me, and I consider myself comparatively well-read. Or rather, I know "sacerdote" is "priest" in Spanish of course, but I haven't heard of it used particularly often in English. "Incardinate" is a similarly rare word. If you want to say that yes, these terms are known, then fine, but ngrams suggests that "incardinated" is extremely rare if nothing else. Maybe "priestly ordination" and "received into" instead?

• For nine years, he dedicated himself to pastoral work in rural villages, serving as a parish priest, vicar, and religion teacher. In one of these villages, he initiated collaboration with local radio stations to share religious teachings for those who couldn't attend mass.

"dedicated himself" is a very flowery way of putting it. Maybe just "he performed pastoral work"? Also, "collaboration" reads rather more hostily than probably intended here. Was this really "sharing religious teachings"? I presume this is from [3] which is frustratingly vague on the subject of what precisely he did. Which town? Did he host a radio show? Was it a religious service or like a talk show? Dunno if the sources exist, but that would be useful. If that source is truly all we have, I'd suggest reducing this to something equally vague, like "He worked with local radio stations to provide Christian content, especially for those who couldn't attend Mass."

• In 1992, he assumed the role of directing Medios de Comunicación y de la Oficina de Información for his diocese

Nit, here and elsewhere: This is not a requirement for GA status, but is good practice and is a requirement for FA status... you might want to consider the Template:Lang tag for accessibility. Basically, mark this with {{lang|es|Medios de Comunicación y de la Oficina de Información|italic=no}} so that screen readers "know" to pronounce this in Spanish. Additionally, for a random non-Spanish speaking reader, it might be helpful to add a glossed translation into English in parentheses afterward. (The same for later Spanish bits - non-Spanish speakers seeing "Red Informática de la Iglesia en América Latina" will think red-the-color, not red-the-Internet.)

• Gil has been a professor in communication technologies at Pontifical University of Salamanca.[1][3][5]

Again a case of three sources that are too close, so close that they were clearly copying each other. But none of these sources bother to say when he was a professor and for how long. Do any of your other sources happen to cover this? (Also, as a tiny nitpick, I'd argue the wikilink to "professor" is overlinking - per WP:OL, no need to link common English words that aren't super-relevant.

• Removed "professor" wikilink. The sources don't say when nor how long.  Done

• Internationally, he has delivered lectures in El Salvador, Puerto Rico and Cuba.

Did he? The sources seem to say he was a visiting professor at es:Universidad Católica de El Salvador (side note: that's a red link on EN wiki? Huh.) which is if anything more prestigious than just delivering some lectures. And on the Puerto Rico side, it's back to "why is this relevant" - we have so little detail it's hard to know how much it mattered. I'm not 100% sure what he did in Cuba.

• provided pastoral communication services to the Episcopal Conference of El Salvador and Chile

Apologies if I've misinterpreted the source myself, but I'm not sure that's what the source says? "ha asesorado sobre temas de pastoral de las comunicaciones a los obispos de las Conferencias Episcopales de El Salvador y de Chile". He didn't do the pastoral communication for the conference, he advised them on how to do it themselves, if I read that correctly.

 Done

• In 2006, he became member for the Comité internacional preparatorio del Congreso Mundial de TV Católicas and also took charge of the event's press direction.

This sentence doesn't really work. "became a member", and the "took charge of the event's press direction" is phrased very strangely. This also seems to be quoting the original sentence a little too directly. "He worked at the press office for the Congreso Mundial de TV Católicas" perhaps?

•  Done

• Gil was the spokesperson of the Spanish language in the XIII Synod of Bishops in the Catholic Church in 2018.

What does this mean? Was he, like, an interpreter? An advocate for Spanish-as-a-language?

• Sources only say he was the "portavoz", which means interpreter.

• https://dle.rae.es/portavoz doesn't seem to agree. Normally interpreters are random salaried people and it's not particularly prestigious. I would suggest "advocate" based on the RAE definition.

• Furthermore, he was the deputy of the Spanish language of the Holy See during the resignation of Pope Benedict XVI (February-March 2013)

Same question here - what does "deputy of the Spanish language" mean / imply? Also, per MOS:DASH, use an ndash for a date range like this.

• Put ndash; rephrased to spokesperson instead of deputy.  Done

• Similar to below, I'd suggest "advocate" perhaps. "Spokesperson" is a bit over-dramatic and unclear.

• I disagree, "portavoz" means spokesperson, not advocate. The Blue Rider 16:09, 7 August 2024 (UTC)

• In the Roman Curia, Gil was the consultant of the Pontifical Council for Social Communications from 2006 to 2016.

Same question here too - "the consultant" is rather mysterious. What did that role do / imply? And was he really "the" consultant? I'm not sure I get the impression from the original Spanish there was only one... but maybe I'm off.

Most sources about fairly minor bishops don't go into much detail, they just say he was a consultant; changed "the" to "a".  Done

• During 13 years (1998-2011), the archbishop of Granada was the director of the Director of the Media Commission Secretariat

No he wasn't. Gil was, not the archbishop. (And the date range is clearly more important than the year length - "From 1998 to 2011", perhaps.)

•  Done

• He has been secretary general of the Spanish Episcopal Conference from 2013-2018

Another ndash. And despite suggesting removing some wikilinks above, I'd definitely add a Wikilink here to Spanish Episcopal Conference, that'd be relevant.

• Spanish Episcopal Conference is linked in the previous sentence. Added ndash. The Blue Rider 02:30, 28 July 2024 (UTC)
  • Fair enough. Note: I know some people use this style, but I'd prefer you don't strikethrough my comments - strikethrough is usually reserved for when the person writing the message retracts it (i.e. me in this case). If you want to mark stuff as done, then maybe use Template:Done ( Done) ?

Think that's enough for now. Really hoping that there are some more sources than just the current 1/3/5 for the Priesthood section... SnowFire (talk) 05:02, 30 June 2024 (UTC)

@The Blue Rider: - see you made some edits this weekend, just making sure you saw this.

I am currently in exams season so I don't really have time to do this right now; but it should be over in the next few days. I hope you don't mind. Thanks. The Blue Rider 14:50, 14 July 2024 (UTC)

I suppose I might as well follow-up on the rest of the article, I made some minor edits.

• He had many technological-related roles due to his degree in information science.

Is this really shown by the rest of the article? I'm not saying it's not true, but working with radio stations is only very loosely a technological role - maybe he was just talking. Similarly, his other roles are often described as "communications", which CAN mean tech, but can also just mean writing messages and email campaigns and the like. Even if he did do tech roles, was it established it was because of his degree?

• Removed "due to...".  Done

  Okay, but is the earlier part of the section still true? What were his technological-related roles? The closest seems the radio work IF it was on the tech side, but it isn't clear to me that this is what he did there.

  Would communication-related jobs be a better phrasing?

The career-as-bishop section has some fairly minor material IMO. It's sourced but none of it seems TOO super-important, more like he was just commenting on news of the day. If he really played a strong role here, it would help to have better sources to show what it was.

Anyway the biggest concern remains what I mentioned above - do we have any better sources than basically a Church press release and news articles that are very clearly copying parts of that press release for his earlier history? SnowFire (talk) 19:23, 7 July 2024 (UTC)

@The Blue Rider: It's been more than a month. I get that real life gets in the way some times and there's no deadline, but should I just mark this as failed for now? Or do you think you'll be able to get to this? SnowFire (talk) 03:07, 5 August 2024 (UTC)

So sorry, I will do this tonight. The Blue Rider 15:32, 5 August 2024 (UTC)