Katie Koestner: Difference between revisions

Koestner is from [[Harrisburg, Pennsylvania]].<ref name=":0022">{{Cite news|url=https://www.highbeam.com/doc/1G1-68715473.html|archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20181105012320/https://www.highbeam.com/doc/1G1-68715473.html|url-status=dead|archive-date=November 5, 2018|title=W&M Students Split Over Ex-Student Who'll Speak About Sexual Assault|last=Walzer|first=Philip|date=April 14, 1996|work=The Virginian-Pilot|access-date=October 24, 2018|subscription=yes |via=HighBeam Research}}</ref> She graduated from [[Cumberland Valley High School]] in [[Mechanicsburg, Pennsylvania]], in the spring of 1990. In the fall of 1990, she enrolled in [[College of William & Mary|William and Mary]] (W&M) where she planned to study [[chemical engineering]] and [[Japanese language|Japanese]].<ref name=":0022" /><ref name=":9922">{{Cite news|url=https://www.stargazette.com/story/news/2015/10/07/safety-expert-speaks-ec-koestner/73543332/|title=Date rape: Her experience first brought it to light|last=Jamieson|first=Bob|date=October 7, 2015|work=Elmira Star-Gazette|access-date=November 1, 2018}}</ref> Koestner was allegedly [[Rape|rapedrape]]d by a student she had been dating for just over a week.<ref name=":1022">{{Cite web|url=http://flathatnews.com/2017/01/23/making-the-personal-political-katie-koestner-94-speaks-out-changes-national-conversation-on-rape/|title=Making the personal political: Katie Koestner '94 speaks out, changes national conversation on rape|last=Grave|first=Leonor|date=January 23, 2017|website=Flat Hat News|access-date=November 1, 2018}}</ref> She had invited the student back to her [[Dormitory|dorm room]] after a date.<ref name=":1162">{{Cite news|url=https://www.newspapers.com/clip/24814374/|title=Date-Rape Gains Attention After Years as Taboo Topic|lastlast1=Olen|firstfirst1=Helaine|date=April 23, 1991|work=[[The Los Angeles Times]]|access-date=October 24, 2018|last2=Ostrow|first2=Ronald J.|via=Newspapers.com}} and {{Cite news|url=https://www.newspapers.com/clip/24814442/|title=Date-Rape: Change in Victims' Attitudes Seen|last=|first=|date=April 23, 1991|work=[[The Los Angeles Times]]|access-date=October 24, 2018|via=Newspapers.com}}</ref> They had gone on a date to a [[French cuisine|French restaurant]] and Koestner wanted to spend time alone with him afterwards.<ref name=":101022">{{Cite web|url=http://flathatnews.com/2017/01/23/making-the-personal-political-katie-koestner-94-speaks-out-changes-national-conversation-on-rape/|title=Making the personal political: Katie Koestner ’94 speaks out, changes national conversation on rape|last=Grave|first=Leonor|date=January 23, 2017|website=Flat Hat News|archive-url=|archive-date=|dead-url=|access-date=November 1, 2018}}</ref> After inviting him in, she says he began to pressure her to have sex with him, continuing to pressure until nearly dawn.<ref name=":1162" /> She fellended asleepup bybeing 5pinned am,against buther wokepink tocarpet by her date.<ref kissingname=":1122">{{Cite hernews|title=Rape andVictim pinningtells herStory againstof theAssault|last=Young|first=Kelly wallE.<ref|date=May name13, 1997|work=":11"Stanford Daily}}</ref><ref name=bbc"bbc22">{{cite news|url=https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-36434191|title=How I convinced the world you can be raped by your date|work=BBC News|date=June 2, 2016|accessdatework=[[BBC News]]|access-date=November 4, 2018}}</ref> Koestner said that she felt tired and weak after hours of arguing about sex and said, "He just wore me down all night. I couldn't do anything."<ref name=":5522">{{Cite news|url=https://www.washingtonpost.com/archive/local/1991/04/07/students-date-rape-complaint-jolts-william-and-mary/f0f9511f-f108-458d-abf6-a4d35efcc925/|title=STUDENT'S DATE-RAPE COMPLAINT JOLTS WILLIAM AND MARY|last=LaFay|first=Laura|date=April 7, 1991|worknewspaper=[[The Washington Post]]|access-date=October 25, 2018|issn=0190-8286}}</ref> She said her date "climbed on top of her and had sex despite her alleged protests."<ref name=":7722">{{Cite news|url=https://www.newspapers.com/clip/25028659/|title=Don't Blame Katie Koestner for Her Story|last=|first=|date=January 15, 1993|work=Daily Press|access-date=November 1, 2018|via=Newspapers.com}}</ref> She said she felt "paralysedparalyzed" and that "he had a ginormous ego, and had always had what he wanted in life".<ref name=bbc"bbc22" />

Koestner did not receive any kind of medical examination until 24 hours had passed.<ref name=":2222">{{Cite book|url=https://booksarchive.google.com.mxorg/details/books?id=jlisbn_9780822317135|url-mXwLH0JkC&lpgaccess=PA110&dqregistration|quote=Katie%20Koestner&pg=PA110#v=onepage&q=Katie%20Koestner&f=false Koestner.|title=The Myth of Political Correctness: The Conservative Attack on Higher Education|last=Wilson|first=John K.|date=1995|publisher=[[Duke University Press]]|yearlocation=Durham, North Carolina|isbn=0822317133|location=|pages=[https://archive.org/details/isbn_9780822317135/page/110 110]}}</ref> Her former date left her notes and friends tried to arrange a meeting between them, hoping things could be patched up between them.<ref name="bbc22" /> She met him in his dorm lounge where she confronted him and asked if he had heard her say "no".<ref name="bbc22" /> He countered by saying that he heard that Koestner's father was angry with her for no longer being a [[Virginity|virgin]].<ref name="bbc22" /> Koestner also felt that her alleged rape was not "taken seriously" by the school nurse who advised her to take [[Hypnotic|sleeping pills]] and "rest the events off" instead of doinggetting a [[Rape kit|rape kit.]].<ref name=":8822">{{Cite news|url=|title=No Official Bruises: The Katie Koestner Story|last=McAfee|first=Michelle|date=April 17, 1997|work=Broadside|access-date=}}</ref> Instead of filing a [[Complaint|police report]], she was asked to pursue an administrative hearing at W&M.<ref name=":2222" /> The [[Dean (education)|dean of students]] told her it was easier to pursue her complaint through the judicial process at the college.<ref name=":5522" /> During the hearing, the alleged rapist said he never heard Koestner say "no", as she claims, at least 12 times that night.<ref name=":8822" /> It was decided at the hearing that there should not be a severe punishment for the rape and the perpetrator was allowed to stay "on campus on the condition that he not enter anyone's living quarters."<ref name=":2222" /> There were "mitigating circumstances" according to administrators that allowed the alleged rapist to stay on campus.<ref name=":3322">{{Cite news|url=https://www.newspapers.com/clip/24816662/|title=Colleges Aren't Taking Rape Seriously Enough|last=Spencer|first=Jim|date=April 5, 1991|work=The Anniston Star|access-date=October 25, 2018|via=Newspapers.com}}</ref>

Because she felt a lack of support from her roommate and other women in her all-female dorm, within a couple of months after she was allegedly assaulted, Koestner moved to new quarters on campus.<ref name=":1162" /> Her parents were also unsupportive of her.<ref name=":111122">{{Cite news|url=|title=Rape Victim tells Story of Assault|last=Young|first=Kelly E.|date=May 13, 1997|work=Stanford Daily|access-date=}}</ref> Nevertheless, in 1991, Koestner came forward publicly and stated that she was the unnamed victim in the campus hearing of the rape.<ref>{{Cite news|url=https://www.newspapers.com/clip/24814260/|title=W&M Examines Policy on Assaults|last=Clary|first=Charles|date=April 12, 1991|work=Daily Press|access-date=October 24, 2018|via=Newspapers.com}} and {{Cite news|url=https://www.newspapers.com/clip/24814329/|title=W&M|last=|first=|date=April 12, 1991|work=Daily Press|access-date=October 24, 2018|page=C4|via=Newspapers.com}}</ref> The letter that she sent to her local paper trended nationwide.<ref name=":662">{{Cite news|url=https://www.refinery29.com/en-us/2016/06/112851/katie-koestner-date-rape|title=How This Woman Made The World Acknowledge Date Rape|last=Petersen|first=Lilli|date=June 4, 2016|work=Refinery29|access-date=October 25, 2018}}</ref> Koestner appeared on the cover of ''[[Time (magazine)|TIME magazine]]''.<ref>{{Cite book|url=https://books.google.com/books?id=ktZuGNyG9yEC&lpg=PA84&dqq=Katie%20Koestner+Koestner&pg=PA84#v=onepage&q=Katie%20Koestner&f=false|title=Men's Violence Against Women: Theory, Research, and Activism|lastlast1=Kilmartin|firstfirst1=Christopher|last2=Allison|first2=Julie|date=May 13, 2013|publisher=Psychology Press|year=|isbn=1135597960|location=978-1135597962|pages=84}}</ref> She appeared on ''[[Larry King Live]], [[The Oprah Winfrey Show]]'', ''[[The Jane Whitney Show]]'', ''CNBC Talk Live'', and was featured in the ''[[The Washington Post|Washington Post]]''.<ref name=":442">{{Cite news|url=https://www.newspapers.com/clip/24817054/|title=Alleged Date Rapist Rebuts Woman's Story|last=Couto|first=Lucinda|date=May 1, 1991|work=Philadelphia Daily News|access-date=October 25, 2018|via=Newspapers.com}}</ref><ref name=":14142">{{Cite news|url=https://www.newspapers.com/clip/25108100/|title=Date Rape Victim to Talk at LU Today About Assault, Harassment|last=LaRoi|first=Heather|date=October 19, 1997|work=The Post-Crescent|access-date=November 4, 2018|via=Newspapers.com}}</ref> The publicity caused Governor [[Douglas Wilder|Doug Wilder]] to ask officials involved in education in Virginia to study [[Campus sexual assault|campus rape]].<ref name=":13132">{{Cite news|url=https://www.newspapers.com/clip/25107583/|title=A Date That Went Wrong Has Changed Her Life|last=Nesbitt|first=Jim|date=November 18, 1991|work=The Dispatch|access-date=November 4, 2018|via=Newspapers.com}} and {{Cite news|url=https://www.newspapers.com/clip/25107711/|title=Rape|last=|first=|date=November 18, 1991|work=The Dispatch|access-date=November 4, 2018|via=Newspapers.com}}</ref> A few years after Koestner came forward publicly, W&M changed their policies so that students found guilty of sexual assault are required to be suspended.<ref name=":7722" /> Koestner faced backlash for her public story about the rape: she received prank phone calls and social stigma from other classmates.<ref name=":13132" />

Koestner chose to come forward to give a human face to the issue of [[date rape]] and also because she felt like the academic hearing was a "second victimization."<ref name=":442">{{Cite news|url=https://www.newspapers.com/clip/24817054/|title=Alleged Date Rapist Rebuts Woman's Story|last=Couto|first=Lucinda|date=May 1, 1991|work=Philadelphia Daily News|access-date=October 25, 2018|via=Newspapers.com}}</ref><ref name=":5522" /><ref>{{Cite news|url=https://www.newspapers.com/clip/24814672/|title=W&M Student Tells Panel About Sex Assault|last=Clary|first=Charles|date=April 26, 1991|work=Daily Press|access-date=October 24, 2018|via=Newspapers.com}} and {{Cite news|url=https://www.newspapers.com/clip/24814759/|title=W&M|last=|first=|date=April 26, 1991|work=Daily Press|access-date=October 24, 2018|via=Newspapers.com}}</ref> Koestner wanted justice.<ref name=":13132" /> ItA wasreporter, Jim Spencer, pointed out that while having a C average and being on academic probation could lead to [[Expulsion (education)|expulsion]], a decision that a rape occurred in the hearing did not lead to a similar punishment.<ref name=":3322" /> The alleged rapist came forward [[Anonymity|anonymously]] in the press to state that he felt the situation was unfairly exaggerated: he had been convicted by the hearing of "emotionally pressuring, not physically forcing Koestner to have intercourse."<ref name=":442" /> He also said that he believed that Koestner was falsely accusing him of rape because she "began to express regrets" about having intercourse.<ref name=":13132" />

In 1991, Koestner transferred to [[Cornell University]], but came back to W&M after a year after the student who allegedly raped her had been expelledtemporarily suspended.<ref name=":0022" /><ref>{{Cite news|url=https://www.newspapers.com/clip/25029351/|title=Woman Tells of Date With Pain, Betrayal|last=Sorra|first=Cecile|date=April 30, 1993|work=The Daily Item|access-date=November 1, 2018|via=Newspapers.com}}</ref> Controversy over her paid role in a planned [[HBO]] dramatization about her experience led to the creation of a petition that asked for the "man's point of view" to be considered in the story.<ref name=":0022" /> The leader of the petition campaign was the current girlfriend of Koestner's alleged rapist.<ref name=":12122">{{Cite news|url=https://www.newspapers.com/clip/25106960/|title=Students Question Date-Rape Program|last=Smith|first=Matt|date=January 13, 1993|work=Daily Press|access-date=November 4, 2018|via=Newspapers.com}} and {{Cite news|url=https://www.newspapers.com/clip/25107044/|title=Program|last=|first=|date=January 13, 1993|work=Daily Press|access-date=November 4, 2018|page=B2|via=Newspapers.com}}</ref> The petition signers said that the name of the alleged rapist was known on the small campus and that he would be "ruined."<ref name=":13132" /> The school paper received letters to the editor criticizing Koestner for not reporting the rape sooner.<ref name=":7722" /> Koestner appeared in the HBO dramatization, ''No Visible Bruises: The Katie Koestner Story'' in 1993.<ref>{{Cite news|url=|title=Speaker Shares Rape Story|last=Saulsgiver|first=Kathryn|date=January 14, 1998|work=Alligator|access-date=}}</ref> ''No Visible Bruises'' was a 1/2 hour special that was part of HBO's series, ''[[Lifestories: Families in Crisis|Life Stories: Families in Crisis]]''.<ref name=":12122" /> Koestner started giving workshops about preventing sexual assault and also on sexual assault policies on college campuses.<ref>{{Cite news|url=https://www.newspapers.com/clip/25029299/|title=Internationally-known Date-rape Survivor, Katie Koestner, Will Speak Sept. 29 at GWU|last=|first=|date=September 23, 1998|work=The Gaffney Ledger|access-date=November 1, 2018|via=Newspapers.com}}</ref><ref>{{Cite news|url=|title=Koestner to Speak on Date-Rape|last=Ipsen|first=Beth|date=February 10, 1991|work=Angelo State RamPage|access-date=}}</ref><ref>{{Cite news|url=|title=Date Rape Victim Speaks Out|last=Saucer|first=Caroline|date=May 18, 1994|work=Finger Lake Times|access-date=}}</ref> Sometimes, herHer appearances were considered "divisive" by some students at the time.<ref>{{Cite news|url=https://www.newspapers.com/clip/25029114/|title=Activist's Presence Divides, Then Teaches Seminary Students|last=Karolyi|first=Anne|date=February 15, 1995|work=The Times Leader|access-date=November 1, 2018|via=Newspapers.com}}</ref> Koestner graduated from W&M in 1994, majoring in public policy and [[women's studies]].<ref name=":0022" /><ref name=":101022" />

Koestner founded the groupeducational organization, Campus Outreach Services in 1994.<ref name=":9922" /> She also founded Students Helping Others to Understand Trauma (SHOUT) at [[Cornell University]] and at W&M started the Sexual Assault Companions Program.<ref name=":15152">{{Cite news|url=https://www.newspapers.com/clip/25108285/|title=Date Rape Topic of Denison Conference|last=DeRosa, II|first=Edward J.|date=October 8, 2000|work=The Newark Advocate|access-date=November 4, 2018|via=Newspapers.com}}</ref> She also volunteered at a rape crisis center and became a certified peer-educator ad sexual assault counselor in Virginia.<ref name=":101022" /><ref name=":15152" /> She became the executive director of the [[Take Back the Night (organization)|Take Back the Night Foundation]].<ref>{{CitationCite web|last=Looker|first=Rachel|title=Take Back the Night Speaker talked about relationship violence|work=The Wood Word|date=November 15, 2015|url=https://www.thewoodword.org/news/2015/11/15/take-back-the-night-speaker-talked-about-relationship-violence/|volume=|pages=|access-date=November 1, 2018}}</ref> She has been published online and in print.<ref>{{Cite web|url=https://www.katiekoestner.com/publications/|title=Publications|last=|first=|date=|website=Katie Koestner|archive-url=|archive-date=|dead-url=February 13, 2018 |access-date=November 1, 2018}}</ref> It was Koestner's efforts that brought the concept and term "date rape" to public attention.<ref name=":662" /><ref name=":14142" /> Koestner was the first victim of alleged date rape to publicly come forward about her experience.<ref>{{Cite news|url=https://www.newspapers.com/clip/25029598/|title=Rape Victim to Speak at MPTC|last=|first=|date=October 2, 2014|work=Fond Du Lac Commonwealth Reporter|access-date=November 1, 2018|via=Newspapers.com}}</ref>

* [https://www.bbc.com/news/magazine-36434191 Interview]